You freaking kill me Flipit!! Beaker and the timer? Priceless!!

Oh, and by the way Fabio, just because Rocco and I don't talk funny - don't mean we're not Real Italians, you Meatball!! And yes Flipit, I eat eggs for breakfast, now for the peeps in Italy, I can't answer, we'll have to ask Mario Batalli, he'd know.

How come they don't do the wacky challenges anymore? You know, create an amuseboush from the vending machine, you can only shop in one aisle in the supermarket, those were fun.

I love Beaker and I love Girl Prison. I am totally rooting for those two. Beaker because she's a DC girl too and Eugene because he seems to have an awful lot of tricks up his sleeve without making a big deal about any of them.

Wow, Flipit, I can't thank you enough for the image of HoneyBear strapped into a sling ("Hey HoneyBear... *whispers* call me!"). I bet he's a stah the next time he shows up at International Bear Rendezvous (as the guy who was able to make Tom Colicchio feel THE most uncomfortable out of five seasons).

I still can't help but burst into horrified giggles every time Carla Beaker is mee-mee-mee-mee-ing her way through the show, poor thing just doesn't realize how fucking funny that bug-eyed face of hers is! I love Carla Beaker!

(Just a side muppetnote, did anybody else ever notice that Doctor Bunsen didn't actually have any eyes, he just had a pair of glasses to suggest where they would be, but sometimes they would flip up and his face looked all weird with only nose and mouth on it---> ^) Just me? Okay, then. Just thought I'd ask.)

I'm confused about something having to do with Danny's "cornflake-crusted zucchini flower"... Did he crust that thing in FROSTED FLAKES™???? I thought cornflakes by themselves weren't sweet unless you dumped a cup or two of sugar on them (like I always did). Am I missing something? Prolly, but still, thought I'd ask... the more you know, and all that.

Ariane's cooking win for not actually cooking seems a little contradictory to me in light of how many times that Daddy Tom, Scar, Gail, and numerous guest judges have harped on people for making cut up fruits and veggies and cheese... I swear I've heard "But what did he/she actually cook??!?" more than once from each of them. Maybe they wanted to give her a freebie since she's tryina be the resident MILF?

Awesome recap, Flipit, you are my holiday joy!

love, J-Mo :)

P.S. Thanks for the plug (pun intended) for my knowledge of Dildo Beach Clubs! *hug* *kiss* *twist* *HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM*

"Beaker looks like she just pooped."

Oh my lord, that made me laugh so hard I could barely breath. In fact, I'm still sort of giggling about it. And I'm so glad I'm not the only one who will forever think Rocco is a douche for his behavior on The Restaurant. He's just so easy to loathe after that.

Did anyone else think Kathie Lee was an enormous b*tch for spitting out some of the food? I thought it showed her true character...act like a child, trying to get attention by being outlandish. But I must admit that I want to kick in the TV every time I see her anyway, so she could have channeled the spirit of Mother Teresa and still pissed me off.

I had the same thought J-Mo. Actual corn flakes are kind of bland, so I was a little confused about what he did to make them so sweet as well.

flip, no matter how many or which way the tables are turned, I will never, ever find myself rooting for Ariane. Bitch won with a freaking SALAD.

Thanks, Top Chef, for reminding me why I hate Kathy Lee Gifford, the woman who can't even keep a senior citizen (Frank) happy and satisfied. HATE HATE HATE.

Loving Fabio.

That is all.

"How come they don't do the wacky challenges anymore?"

I believe that would be a valid question if the whole season doesn't have them. It's only been the fourth episode so it's not the time to judge wheter or not they don't do wacky challenges anymore.

"Actual corn flakes are kind of bland"

Depends on what variety used and what you do to it.

" did anybody else ever notice that Doctor Bunsen didn't actually have any eyes, he just had a pair of glasses to suggest where they "

Yes I noticed. Hosea reminds me of Dr. Bunsen for somereason. Maybe it's the segments where he wears glasses.

Flipit... this is the shoutout on ew.com that I was telling you about!

NotWithoutMyTV
Thu, Dec 04, 08 at 03:22 PM

The recaps at TVgasm.com just have Jeff's picture with the caption "Derrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..." underneath it. His personality was removed by aliens years ago. And to all of you scandalized by Kathie Lee's behavior... you've seen the media right?? She's everywhere, and she hasn't changed... She's the full-body equivalent of Carla's Crazed Orbs.

I am not Italian (Italian-American or otherwise) but I did live in Italy for a while. While I can't speak for all Italians, all the Italians I met and interacted with ate a really light breakfast. Usually consisting of a cappucino and a croissant. They do however, eat like 3-5 course dinners on a regular basis. It is crazy.

LOL, this was absolutely awesome: He's all "you're retahded" and I's all "you ah!" And then we fucked on the flooah.

HA!

So, I need to vent somewhere, and where better than the 'gasm. So, everytime Padma says the name "Ariane" she pronounces it Aryian - like the white supremest kind and I flinch for a moment, "like, OMG - " then I remember. I just think that is an extremely unfortunate name...and it makes me hope she gets the boot soon..sorry!

Great recap! I love this show! Go Girl Prison! And Cadaver (Rad)!

What the heck did Kathie Lee spit out..another hair ball?
How does Scar stay so thin eating all that food? Are there vomit breaks?
I agree that Ariane's win was a cheap win. Not many people can mess up a salad.
And Gail's getting married, I hope they show the soon to be Mr. Gail.
Funny recap, love your picture captions.

I'm still repeating Farmgirl's words of wisdom in my head. That is my new mantra. The scariest thing about failing, is failing. hahahahahaha

Flipit - I think you might have a bit of psychic ability what with Leah and the sharpies. (re Grant Achatz episode).

No need to apologize for the gay butt sex jokes. Keep 'em coming.

Have to agree on the captions! You're the best, Flipit!!! Tho I was surprised you didn't do your famous animated gifs for Jeff's extensive range of emotions!!! Maybe he'd be more prettyish with less bangs . . .

Maybe you can pick up HB's name for Leah and call her Rack.

J-mo, let me know how it goes with HB--my lips are sealed . . .

Flip, I've been meaning to say that the first rainbow reject looked like he had rosacea, not blush, I oughta know coz I'm a permanent blusher, "aw shucks"

Also, like you Flip, I need to get out more, but, call me crazy, I think angst is a good thing for cappin' or frustration, or whatever you'd like to call it. I love it when I can sense you're black mood, like the recent Hero's cap I"m heading back to finish. HEARTS DIAMONDS AND GREEN CLOVERS!

Jons!! You are so funny! I used to grocery shop there when I lived on Mariposa and SMB and didn't have a car to shop anywhere else! Good ol' East Hollywood! Thanks for entertaining me each week...

juddfan:
I don't think it was rosacea so much as a sunburn. that first day everyone got really bad sunburns, but patrick didn't make it far past that first day so we never got to see him without the burn? at least that was my take on it.

"He's all "you're retahded" and I's all "you ah!" And then we fucked on the flooah."
My favorite line of a great recap, thanks flipit!

You know I to seem to be standing up for Kathy Lee, mainly because it would refute everything I've based my adult life on, but she wasn't the only one coughing up hairballs this week. Chef Tom spit out that shrimp too, remember? Oh and as for Scar, that gag reflex she managed to to supress for her entire marriage to Salman Rushdie? Back with a vengence.
Yeschef the reason Housa reminds you of Bunson Honeydew is they are both bald, have the same shapped noggins and have both woken up hung over at 4:30 in the morning in bed with Leah.

Italians have eggs! Fritatas are basically the Italian version of an omlette/quiche. They aren't always served for breakfast though.

HIGHlarious recap, Flip! I was absolutely cackling over the stuff with Stefan's egg. People were looking at me like I was crazy. And they are probably right.

One thing though, I hate it when they don't show everyone's dish in the quick fire. I had to back up the episode because I thought I missed what Girl Prison did... but nope. He was skipped.

Hey Flipit, I just realized Rocco has a new show on A&E called Rocco gets Real. I haven't watched it, so I have no idea if it is any good, but by the write up on it sounds like the same concept as Take Home Chef, where the chef goes in and makes a meal in the people's home. I'm surprised that he did not plug his show while he was on Top Chef.
Heart.

Can we rename Stefan Right Said Fred? I can't help but think that everytime I see him!

As long as everyone this season is getting Muppet nicknames, can we all agree that Jamie is the lead singer from Dr. Teeth and the Electric Meyhem? All she needs is to let her hair down over her eyes. She's already missing her neck.

Love your recaps! They are highly anticipated by me! (and likely gaggles of other readers as well)

I agree completely, CougAriane did in fact get herself a cheap win. I had so much respect for her last week after her fabulous Turkey (Turkey is held to the highest standards with me, if its not fabulous, I deem the whole dinner ruined) but this week she seemed WAY too proud of winning without, as stated, ACTUALLY cooking anything.

Alex was right, you cannot come on this show and give anything less than every ounce of effort you have, or you will go home (and then promptly regret not giving it your all at such a once in a life time opportunity... as I am sure he did.) He must suck at math something fierce.

I fought my OWN gag reflex watching Stalker Leah and Hosea's little marker scene... UGH... but I could have sworn it said I heart H... I might be going crazy though...

One last thing, Melissa's bangs drive me NUTS.

Love your recaps! They are highly anticipated by me! (and likely gaggles of other readers as well)

I agree completely, CougAriane did in fact get herself a cheap win. I had so much respect for her last week after her fabulous Turkey (Turkey is held to the highest standards with me, if its not fabulous, I deem the whole dinner ruined) but this week she seemed WAY too proud of winning without, as stated, ACTUALLY cooking anything.

Alex was right, you cannot come on this show and give anything less than every ounce of effort you have, or you will go home (and then promptly regret not giving it your all at such a once in a life time opportunity... as I am sure he did.) He must suck at math something fierce.

I fought my OWN gag reflex watching Stalker Leah and Hosea's little marker scene... UGH... but I could have sworn it said I heart H... I might be going crazy though...

One last thing, Melissa's bangs drive me NUTS.

Whoa, my sincerest apologies for the double post... I dont even know how that happened 30 minutes later.

What a drag. Gail is getting married? What a lucky dude. (I wish I was joking. Questionable fashion and all, I think she is dreamy!!)

Hilarious recap, as per.

Esp the "floodwater" screencap.

I heard that with "Dilido Beach Club" the second 'i' is silent.

Team Euro-LAliens!

I was wondering about the sequence of events, specifically, when they have time to do their private onscreen comments. I'm assuming they are done after the challenge is completed. I say this in regard to Fabio's comment about Rocco not being 'real' Italian.

If so, then this comment is sour grapes for coming in at the bottom. Make sense?

Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks Prettyish looks exactly like Chase from House. It's almost creepy...
My husband watches this show with me and when I said to him "They call her Beaker on this site..." He know exactly who I was talking about, it's perfect!
Thanks for the giggles every week.

"sandogg:
I was wondering about the sequence of events, specifically, when they have time to do their private onscreen comments. I'm assuming they are done after the challenge is completed. I say this in regard to Fabio's comment about Rocco not being 'real' Italian.

If so, then this comment is sour grapes for coming in at the bottom. Make sense?"

According to interviews done and with contestants of other similar shows such as Hell's Kitchen the private comments are done after the challenge when they are herded into the confessionals and told to talk. It's a lot of footage shot for those segments. I think some interviewed contestants said they had to do 15-30 minutes of talking about what happened.

Another great recap, Flipit. So was last week's, but I didn't comment because I was hiding away from Velvet Butt's Drunken Wrath Against Europeans. :-)

I love your captions for Jeff's photos. That guy gets me so depressed with his mopey face and talk.

I had heard of Rocco, but I had never seen him anywhere before. What a stupid dildo. Between him and Kathie Lee, this seemed like the douchiest episode yet.

And somebody please explain to me why someone born and raised in the US is "real Italian", rather than an American of Italian descent. Sorry, as much as I would like to think of my kids as "real Spaniards", they are really really really American, except, unlike most kids their age, they are aware of the location, food, and customs of a different country. But over there they would never pass for natives, unless they were to live there for a long while. I just don't get this American thing for saying "I'm French-Czech-Scottish-Greek-German" in all seriousness, because your great-grandparents came from there. You may have a couple of Grandma's authentic recipes, but you're American!!!!

For what it's worth, I lived in Italy for 2 years and never watched an Italian eat eggs for breakfast...

" just don't get this American thing for saying "I'm French-Czech-Scottish-Greek-German" in all seriousness"

I am pretty sure sociologists have looked into it. May have to do with feeling like you are a real American by proclaming yourself to be of European ancestry in comparison to those who came from South America or Africa. It does have roots in racism for sure.

"I just don't get this American thing for saying "I'm French-Czech-Scottish-Greek-German" in all seriousness, because your great-grandparents came from there. You may have a couple of Grandma's authentic recipes, but you're American!!!!"

Sayhuh, perhaps the reason why Americans will say something like that is because they are proud of their nationalties and background. This is a natural feeling.

"I am pretty sure sociologists have looked into it. May have to do with feeling like you are a real American by proclaming yourself to be of European ancestry in comparison to those who came from South America or Africa. It does have roots in racism for sure. "

The only reason why it might be considered "racist" is because political correctness doesn't allow Americans of European descent to openly speak of their nationality, unless it comes with the expected guilt trips.

yeschef,

The only racist statement was yours, imo. Why is it alright to say your family came from Africa or the Caribbean but not ok for me to say that I am half-Italian and half-English? I am as fair skinned as can be so it isn't like I am saying it in case someone thought I might be from Africa (not that there aren't fair skinned people in Africa, but that didn't seem to be the inference from yeschef's statement). Why is it not allowed for me to be proud of my background and ancesters? Why can't I be proud of my ethnic culture? Your statement was ignorant.

The political correctness of America is to an extent now that it is actually reverse-racism. It is ridiculous and other countries make fun of it, to be honest.

For your info yes it is racist to harp about you being a certain strain of American since that is what those movements were often about bother to do some research.

It's racist for those of African descent since they don't want to just be American or be black they want to make themselves be apart from the rest of America.

You had people in this country stating that Kofi Annan was African American not Black or African.

I think you are the one who needs to do some research. But I have a feeling you are perfectly happy in your own opinions and any facts that don't fit are not acceptable to you. So I won't waste any of my time or energy on you or your racist opinions. See ya.

Thanks guys it's so nice to finally find out the Saint Paddy's Day parade is actually a racist tool to make others feel bad about themselves. Here for years I'd always thought it was just the one day of the year all of us potato eaters could drive floats down main city streets in America with a blood alcohol level of "my god, you're not dead yet?" and not get hassled by the man. Thanks a heap for clearing that up. Now I just have to figure out what I'm going to do with these 8 giant leprechauns made out of artifical flowers and that flat bed truck on in the garage. Man, March is going to suck this year.

You obviously don't comprehend that there is a huge differance between saying you have a specific group heritage and saying you are a special breed of American.

Bother to learn the history of certain immigrant groups in the US and the reactions to them and from them to other groups.

You obviously think street gangs didn't exist prior to the 1960s or that riots that engulfed American cities happened in the 20th century.

My parents are immigrants but I consider myself really really really American. However saying what nationalities your descendants come from is merely part of a description of yourself. In other words since the U.S. is such a melting pot of all nationalities, it just helps to say which one of those you are, and honestly, it's as simple as that. Your great-grandma for example might be Russian, but if you're eating apple pie, know the "Take me out to the ball game" song by heart and know a 16-year old kid that works nights on weekdays and weekends and gets a salary (not normal in many other countries) then folks, you're American! With your mother's Chinese eyes or your great-grandfather's Italian nose, of course ;)

Hey Whitney, perhaps you're right on the sunburn, I know fer sure the sun also aggravates rosacea, it was the central location on the cheeks and not the brow or nose that made me think the big R - guess it's more common, esp in white people of Irish descent . . . tee hee . . . . I don't want to get into the whole "racist or not" stuff, but it is curious that we are all american, yet such a varied bunch. I can't wait till everything is so mixed up it wont matter what's what anymore, but until then, I know fer sure, any American of any race, creed or color is truly an American when they step foot in Europe . . . that is a joke!!!!

judd, I just remember sitting through that entire episode thinking that the producers were insane to not tell the contestants that they would be outside for hours, and for not providing sunscreen. I ached just looking at it. Patty may just have both issues.

Also, to put in my 2 cents, this may not be the forum to discuss sensitive issues, as it always escalates. Everyone on both sides is making interesting points, but this format does not lend itself to an academic or political discussion.

"judd, I just remember sitting through that entire episode thinking that the producers were insane to not tell the contestants that they would be outside for hours, and for not providing sunscreen."

Wouldn't that spoil the surprise quickfire elimination? This is a show with challenges, surprises being put out in the hot sun for hours would be one of difficulties I would expect as a contestant. If your skin be that sensitive to the sun if you go outdoors you should have put some on just in case.

my logic was that they weren't expecting to be outside for hours, and the producers could have provided sunscreen/ time to do it in between the surprise announcement and the quickfire itself. I think severe sunburn is a different sort of challenge than is being forced to use only a microwave.

Wow. Sorry, guys, I didn't want to start a flaming ethnic war here, I know we're all proud of where we came from, I just thought it was funny that somebody would be wondering why a real Italian would not consider an American a "real Italian". Let's just agree we're all real Gasmii here!

Dearest Flip,
Thanks once again for snort-inducing moments... my personal fav? "They sound like baby birds being stepped on". And this would be why I cannot watch the morning dreck shows. Great recap, awesome screencaps and wonderful comments!