Fabio says that they don't hold hands, he puts Stefan on a leash. Jim from Boulder Colorado wants to know how he broke his finger. He takes a full minute to say he slipped and when he "look down my figer was a wallen." Thanks for that fascinating question, Jim. Bobblehead calls them boyfriends again. Yawn. That's why he makes the big bucks. Then he gives Stefan a shirt that says "I love Fabio." What a waste of a segment. Why didn't he ask if Stefan was pissed that Fabio rooted for Hoser at the judging table in the finale? LAME.
Now for a segment about "Kooky Beaker" meditating, sending food out with love, and arguing with Ronda and Juanita. Juanita sang a lot and Ronda tried to shuffle coasters and any kind of paper in a pile. She says that a lot of people say hootie hoo now so she is always getting lost with no way to find her hubby in a crowd. Bobblehead tells us that a bunch of contestants were eliminated on their birthdays. Daniel was first, followed by Girl Prison, Radhika, then Leah. HAHA. That's funny I never realized that. Danny tells us about his unlucky birthday curse. He's like Hurley from Lost.
But I don't have a boner. Weird.
Turtle looks like she's having about as much fun as we are right now.
You know a PA made Leah put that black t-shirt on.
After a clip of Prettyish boring the hell out of everyone with his endless lists of ingredients, Tom is asked how it feels to be a hero. He saved some chick from choking. Then Gail is asked if Toby is the Simon Cowell of Top Chef. No, because Simon's naturally witty and funny and Toby's lame. Gail says it's in the editing. Clips of nasty Judges' Table moments. Scar apologizes for spitting out Scari's food, but Scari still looks pissed. Farm Girl says that getting reamed just makes you stronger. Prettyish disagrees and starts crying and begging to never get reamed again. Fabio whispers that she meant verbally reamed and then Prettyish quiets down and looks embarrassed.
Tom says that they need to grow a pair if they're gonna be professionals. Lupe from Phoenix asks a pointless question, followed by some dude who asks how stupid Army Wife and her gay friend are for not being able to cook with apples in the first challenge. Patrick says "I made it through!" and Army Wife smacks him. He's wearing his usual pound of base and blush. Army Wife says that she stands by her apple. Fight for your right to be mediocre, AW! And now for the clips of Fug Mating Rituals.
Hoser and Possible Stalker Leah got "drunk" and made out and then cried about how much they love their significant others. There. Just saved you five minutes. They claim that they thought they had privacy and that the camera man was filming a reflection on the window. HAHA tricky ass camera man. Stefan says it's not big deal and ugly people do it all the time. Otherwise there would be no one blocking all the aisles at Costco. Seriously have you been there on a weekend lately? Ugly people are fucking, America. Get over it.
Hosea insists that they aren't the only ones who have hooked up on the show, they're just the only ones who have been caught. The judges are like "sorry no. Just you." But wait! There's more! They both got dumped by their sig others when they got home and basically just meet up and bang right now cuz they're in different cities. Everyone wants to know if they would relocate to be with each other. Leah won't, but Hosea is considering it. And now a toast. To blind love.
Video of the chefs making beds out of GLAD bags. Homeless Mia from Season 2 would be so proud. And now for never before seen footage of Turtle and Leah showing up wasted to Judges' Table. It's hilarious. They get tanked and then just stand there laughing at everything the judges say. Scar ends it with "Two words, Leah. National. Television." Darn. I thought she was gonna say "Drunk. Whore." Either way, that was some good stuff. Who was the biggest crier on this season? Cut to montage of people crying. Scariane wins that prize. I. Am so. Bored.
Clip of Fabio telling us what a ladies man Stefan is. Cut to Stefan hitting on the Turtle and talking about how every woman he comes across is smokin hot. Then he's rendered speechless when Scar walks in with her nips shouting to the world.
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Comments (18)
Flipit, I totally agree. Overall, the reunion was DULLSVILLE...Your recap, however was exceptional, as always!
Favorite part:
Rad says she didn't want to be known for Indian food but that's all she cooked. Why? She claims that she never made traditional Indian food. Why does she look like she died a week ago? No answer.
I'm so sad Top Chef is over!! Not because I want to see more of lame Hosea (although, like Big Gay Rich, I wouldn't mind more Tom. Yes, please!), but because your recaps are just fantab!! I'll say it, Flipit. You're my favorite! Thank goodness I have American Idol to hold me over.
1 of 18 | Posted by BeccaRULEZ | Posted on March 4, 2009 10:56 PM
The "blind love" montage you put up is just effing hilarious! I especially liked the 80s rockers and their poor mulleted child. LOL!
Flipit, u should have won fan favorite
2 of 18 | Posted by here4beer | Posted on March 5, 2009 5:42 AM
When Stefan said he was glad he didnt win... I remembered how someone on this comments board said he might have "thrown" the challenge because he didnt want to be bound to the contract he would inevitably "win"...
Given the mediocre batch of chefs, mediocre prizes (when there even prizes) and overall mediocrity of this whole Top Chef season, I thought that possibly Stefan was being serious, and honest. For some of those chefs, those not quite as established, that contract is a dream come true. For someone like Stefan who has been in the business for 23 years (i believe thats what he said?), it isnt quite the same. Maybe he wanted the Top Chef title but not the contracts and obligations that come with that title? His arrogance is enough to make that possible. Just my opinion :)
Oh, and that hair experiment they did on the show had me laughing a long time. HILARIOUS.
I agree, Beaker deserved fan favorite but then the same argument can be made for Fabio, because I love him. So if it was not Beaker, it should have been Fabio.
3 of 18 | Posted by kara | Posted on March 5, 2009 5:43 AM
Flipit, the only thing I will miss about this season of Top Chef are your hilarious recaps. Thanks for causing me spew coffee all over my computer YET AGAIN!!
"My colon's about to fall out." Choking, not breathing, laughing my fucking ass off!! :-D
The blind love montage was also brilliant. Scary, but brilliant.
I think Top Pussy should open a potato restaurant, the first of its kind. All potatoes. All the time.
Thanks for a great season. Much love!
SWAK, PottyMouth
4 of 18 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on March 5, 2009 6:09 AM
I was upset with myself because I got home too late to see the recap - so I taped the 12am rerun and watched it this morning. What a waste of video tape. Flipit, you are dead on - most. boring. show. ever. Jamie and Leah drunk was the highlight. But THANKS for making a gourmet meal out of garbage - your recap was amazingly funny.
One thing - didn't Fabio talk about how he needed the "win" money to take care of his sick Mama? I love how Bobblehead called him on that when he said he would use the fan fav money to work on his restaurant. I was disappointed that Hootie did not win fan fav, but have to say that Fabio was my second choice so it's ok. But here4beer is soooo right - Flipit deserves the fan fav win!
Big hugs Flipit - xoxox
5 of 18 | Posted by njgasmifan | Posted on March 5, 2009 7:15 AM
Oh, Flipit, I couldn't stop watching that "blind love" montage!!! Hilarious! I agree with the person above: You can make a gourmet meal out of garbage.
I loved Fabio, so I'm glad he won fan fave, but, yeah, what about sick mama?
I'm happy we still have AI, but do I really have to watch Big Brother to have my Flipit fix this summer? Oh dread...a girl's gotta do what a girl's...well, you know...
LOVE
6 of 18 | Posted by michigan | Posted on March 5, 2009 12:06 PM
Who would've thunk it that Leah was actually edited to look SMARTER on the show than in real life? It's like the reverse-bimbo edit!
7 of 18 | Posted by NotWithoutMyTV | Posted on March 5, 2009 12:23 PM
Does any one else hate that Andy Cohen douchenozzle with the white-hot intensity of a kitchen grease fire?
8 of 18 | Posted by NotWithoutMyTV | Posted on March 5, 2009 12:47 PM
And his Osmond family grin? Ummm, yeah, totally.
9 of 18 | Posted by njgasmifan | Posted on March 5, 2009 1:49 PM
I'd fuck Andy Cohen in half. And he'd like it.
love, J-Mo :)
P.S. Flipit, way to spin gold out of straw! Love to you! :)
10 of 18 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on March 5, 2009 1:58 PM
J-Mo, I'm sure Cohen would like it.
Especially if you're a man.
11 of 18 | Posted by NotWithoutMyTV | Posted on March 5, 2009 2:48 PM
J-Mo, I doubt your boyfriend would like it, though.... Andy Cohen is a Bobblehead, funny stuff, and I'm so glad I didn't watch the reunion, esp. if Beaker did not win fan fave.
12 of 18 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on March 5, 2009 3:15 PM
Hey Flip!
Thanks for sticking with us through this excruciating season. Your recaps made it bearable! Glad you're covering Idol for us...I'll def be reading!
Luv and kisses!
Topaz
13 of 18 | Posted by fierytopaz | Posted on March 5, 2009 4:21 PM
kara-
i was the one that said that i think stefan didn't win on purpose, and i still think it. he seemed pretty sincere when he said he didn't want to win on tv, and he's friends with my dad and told him the same thing.
14 of 18 | Posted by whitney | Posted on March 5, 2009 10:35 PM
Thanks for great recaps Flip! I'm going to miss the beaker videos!
15 of 18 | Posted by jennaboa | Posted on March 6, 2009 8:20 AM
Whitney -
Thank you for clarification! :) I believe it too. I think the way he said it sounded just slightly cocky and arrogant (as did Tom!) but I believe it was the truth.
16 of 18 | Posted by kara | Posted on March 6, 2009 9:20 AM
Waaaaa!!! NO more Beaker . . . . no more Hootie! Boobie hooobie!!!
I'm okay with Fabi takin' it, tho . . . I did like it when HoneyBear said, "Are they talking about you and me Tom" He seems like one of us, and I should go seek him out on Facebook.
Couldn't help but notice that DT kept his hand over his crotch the whole time, not that I'm the type to stare there or anything *ahem* but really . . . at least Toby was splaying all over . . . hee
Anyone hate him less now that it's over?
I was glad Hoser and that dish rag got dumped!!! Hahahahahahahaha!!! And if they didn't get caught, would they have not felt guilty and gone all bonkers . . . I'm just askin . . .
Big Smooches Flip, Hootie, hoo, and out!
17 of 18 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on March 6, 2009 5:47 PM
Oh, J-Mo, you are SOOO much better than Andy Bobblehead. Aim higher! (Oooh, double entendre!)
I love Stefan, but I'm afraid "I really didn't want to win" or "I didn't try to win" sounds like he is trying to save face. Next he'll say, "Well, Top Chef is not an important prize" or something like that. It's called "sour grapes."
He looked kinda hot with hair.
18 of 18 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on March 6, 2009 8:15 PM