We open with Chicago girls Yoda and Valerie lifting weights. I think Yoda's talking about how great it was to win the first challenge, but I'm so distracted by the truly heinous tattoos going up and down her calves that I can barely pay attention. I've got nothing against tats, having one myself, but damn girl, if those things look this bad at age 31, can you imagine them intertwined with some varicose veins in 30 years? However we do learn that these two worked together in the past, and Valerie hopes that having a friend will be helpful at some point.

We also check in with Zoi and Jennifer, who are debating who gets to wear the ugliest shoes. They tell us they're trying to downplay their relationship and not spend too much time together. Since they spotted Dale running around in Lisa's panties the night before, they figure this shoe swap is okay.

The group heads off to a farmers market for their Quick Fire. Padma's waiting for them, and explains that the challenge is create a dish using only 5 ingredients (salt, pepper, sugar, and oil do not count). She repeats herself a few times and even holds up 5 fingers to make sure everyone gets the concept. Padma, not everyone smokes as much pot as you. They got it. The chefs look like they're going to crap their pants, but I don't think this one's too hard. Then again, I usually only use 2 ingredients when cooking dinner - a box of noodles and a packet of powdered cheese.

Everyone races off to begin shopping, screaming "move, bitches!" at some toddlers who are rude enough to get in the way. They have 30 minutes and $25 dollars each. While most of the chefs begin frantically running around the stands, Evangelos/Spike decides to spend the time listening to a folk singer with a group of children and getting back to his roots. Do your roots include getting kicked off second on an American reality TV show? Move your ass!

Congratulations, you're officially Evangelos because of this

Meanwhile, Richard's continuing to play the "unique" card by purchasing some eucalyptus branches (umm, ew!), and Dale's continuing to be arrogant by bitching about how all the meat is frozen and below his standards. Mutton's running around pissing people off by bumping into them, digging in things he shouldn't be, and generally being frazzled and annoying. When you've got that cute of an accent and you still manage to irritate that many females, you know you gotta get a grip, mate. He also manages to forget his bag of greens at one of the stands. I know a lot of readers like this guy, but he's an idiot.

Back in the kitchens, Padma introduces the guest judge - Wylie Dufresne, chef/owner of wd-50 in NYC. Turns out Wile E. Coyote's a big fan of that chemical crap as well as wretched facial hair, and Richard and Mutton practically wet themselves in excitement. Padma gives them 30 minutes to cook, and off they go.

This guy's way into science? Nah, you gotta be kidding me...

The Quick Fire prep goes pretty smoothly, with only a few exceptions. Evangelos realizes he should have spent less time getting down with "Puff the Magic Dragon" and more time selecting his ingredients when he sees his filet looks like dog meat. Valerie complains to us about the crowded conditions and lack of burners (side note: this chick has already talked more in the first 10 minutes of this episode than she did the entire time last week. That does not bode well for her). And Yoda looks like she's ready to have a nervous breakdown as she wipes sweat from her brow.

Time for evaluations. Richard's made a chicken soup filled with chemicals and the taste of cough drops, and tries not to cry when the Coyote tears through the dish with his hands and seems unimpressed. Ryan's got a steak-veggie dish that is judged as simple but nice. Dale's prepared a completely vegetarian dish due to his frozen meat snobbery, and the Coyote praises the mushrooms. Valerie's dish is a rib eye steak covered with tomatoes, which looks grisly and unappetizing to me but goes over well. Erik's lamb chops get a neutral review.

« American Idol Results: Back to the Flat Bed | Main | Big Brother: Natalie Has Eight Letters In It! No, Wait. »

Posted in Top Chef by LoLo at 6:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Last Comment: realityjunkie on Mar 24, 2008 12:24 PM.