This week, Top Chef taught us that imitation isn't always the sincerest form of flattery, personality can carry you way further than actual talent, and French grandmas are liars.
Eh, a chicken's a chicken.
Last week, CJ was left wandering around Jersey looking for a Greyhound station, but the remaining five Chefs have made it to Manhattan. I have to say I'm impressed the producers didn't force them to do a toll booth worker challenge at the bridge to fully exploit this traveling theme. The Chefs walk around Washington Square, the same park a guy sold me a paper bag full of leaves off a bush instead of weed six years ago. That memory still gets my goat. I actually tried to smoke the leaves, which I think gave me some kind of cancer, because I still can't walk up a flight of stairs without almost keeling over. Damn you, Washington Square!
Hung is psyched to be back in NYC. He lived there for three years, and it's where he "learn" cooking and tricking. He was way too busy to study English. It all makes sense now, Dungy. Thank's for the 'splain. Baldhawk tells us that what drives him as a chef is that he's unique, he's a big mo, and he's gonna outcook everyone's ass. I'll give ya two out of three on that one, tiger. He's sportin' khaki flood pants and combat boots today, and every gay man he passes bows his head in shame. Seriously, this is New York, Baldhawk. Pull yourself together.
Flash flood warning in effect. Hide.
Bunny Foo Foo is confident after her recent wins, and says that she doesn't care what Brad and Angelina do anymore. She's here to win, and when she has the cash at the end, she and Ross'll buy themselves some cute babies from Darfur and show those bastards!
It's your day, your week, your month and even your year, Foo!
Troll Patch is wide eyed and obviously scared out of his wits, but he puts on a Feivel hat and gets into the thinker pose, telling us that he loves being in New York. The fragrance, the cars, the people yelling...yay (?)!
Sir, you dropped a brick on the ground.
Today's Quickfire Challenge is going to take place at the new Le Cirque, which floors Baldhawk. He tells us that the restaurant has opened it's third location, which is just astounding! Hullo, ya ever hear of Chile's? Scar greets the chefs in the dining room with Chef Sirio Maccioni, who is looking dapper in his power stripes and blue tie. He serves them a white sea bass wrapped in russet potato over melted leeks and oyster mushrooms. Everyone oohs and ahhs over their meal, and when Scar tells them that today's challenge is to recreate the dish in 25 minutes, Baldhaw's spoon shakes so hard he almost breaks his china.
They are taken back to the kitchen, where a group of line cooks looks at them like are going to beat their asses after school. Man, Le Cirque is scary. Remind me to never complain about my food in that place.
Who sent their steak back? WHO?!?!
The TV chefs get to ask the bruiser chefs questions, and Dung is first. He wants to know what number the slicer is set at for the potatoes. He looks smugly proud of his question, but the sous chef grins at him like he's a moron. There are no electric slicers at Le Cirque, you silly mangirl! Get cozy with your madoline. Gulp. Sara wants to know if the potatoes are boiled before they are used to wrap the fish, and she gets the same shit eating grin from Sous. No, honey, they're raw, and you're pathetic for having to ask. Good luck, suckas!!
Dung is up first, and he tells us that he's not skerd of this silly dish. It's a duplicate of something he's already been provided, and the whole thing is easy squeeze. Man, I hope he bones this one. He explains that slicing the potatoes just the right thickness is the trick. Scar and Sirio walk in to watch, and he suavely smirks as he chops the leeks like he's about to segue into a very special rendition of "I Love Paris in the Springtime". Ugh.
I'll be here all week!
« Kid Nation: I'm not cut out for this | | Gossip Girl: The B*tch is Back »
Comments (21)
From the crap Baldhawk puts out, I'm guessing it has been a looooooong time since that boy has gotten any action. Put on some long pants, kid and hit the streets. No gay man worth his salt is gonna go horizonal with a cheeseball in floods.
Your time is almost up.
GO. HUNG.
1 of 21 | Posted by Pegster | Posted on September 23, 2007 7:58 AM
Great recap, Flipit. Like you, I was kind of terrified for the poor cheftestants during the entire episode. I mean Bourdain is a wise ass & all, sure, but he's nothing compared to being judged by these scary NYC Frenchie types. Ayiyi.
I still don't hate any of them. Not even Hung.
2 of 21 | Posted by Lime23 | Posted on September 23, 2007 9:58 AM
much love for the flipit.
digging up the dead FRENCH grandmother to make her pack up her knives was genius. i've never had coq au vin but i can honestly say anything with "older rooster" in the description ain't for me. i think frency le morte had the right idea using chicken.
flipit i'm surprised you didn't have a comment about scar's flirty "you're next" glances towards sirio. old? check. rich? check. how bout old? double-check.
so glad to see gail dust herself off from the whooring to join us again. i do live to see her distaste. give that broad some cous cous.
oh yeah and
french.
grandmother.
3 of 21 | Posted by k37744 | Posted on September 23, 2007 10:19 AM
Excellent recap (as usual) Flipit. I wish every episode of Top Chef was like this one, where the emphasis is on the food and skills, and no product placements or cheesy gimmicks. Baldhawk was super annoying when he got mad at Hung for not revealing how the quickfire chicken was cooked. If Baldhawk needs Hung's help, he really has no business in the finals. I was glad to see Troll Patch make it because a final four without him would be a snooze.
I'm calling Foo for the win just because I think the producers will give in to the TC's-never-had-a-woman-win pressure.
4 of 21 | Posted by greeneyes | Posted on September 23, 2007 2:19 PM
By far my fav recap yet this season - laughed out loud on every page!!!
And Scar's bitchiness is getting old...when she came in to speak to the chefs after the elimination challenge she said, "Thank you for an interesting meal.." or something close. That was why Foo Foo said "Interesting?" It was just rude!! I think Scar believes she is a "Chef". Cookbook or not - YOU ARE NOT!
5 of 21 | Posted by eellsinoc | Posted on September 23, 2007 3:28 PM
As has been said, another great recap.
I must say that I am not a fan of having to scroll to the top of each page in order to navigate to the next page however.
I can't believe that Troll Patch got away with serving a dish that looked like a pile of vomit.
And Sara was lucky that she didn't serve that raw chicken around Gordon Ramsey. He would have scared that crazy Jamaican accent out of her.
6 of 21 | Posted by InsideThePerimeter | Posted on September 23, 2007 4:01 PM
First time - here goes!!
Flipit - I loved you for Idol and it NEVER even occurred to me to check for more!!! I stumbled upon tonight's recap and was giggling my tookus off, so as soon as my husband left, I made a cup of tea and retired to the patio to read ALL of the archives!!
Somewhere between Tranny Wheels' bows, Troll Patches seafood (I ACTUALLY hadn't noticed!) and Gigantor just being a headless torso and you issuing camera directions, I was laughing so hard I was crying and wheezing like some crazy Joey/Howie hybrid - 'cept not that big, I SWEAR! My mom and dad dropped by for a visit and came storming through the back gate ready to slay whatever dragons were making me cry and, though I tried, I could not get them to understand how undeniably, disarmingly and surprisingly HYSTERICAL you are!!
I'm so glad that I found you, again!!! BIG HEARTS!!
7 of 21 | Posted by kimbubbly | Posted on September 23, 2007 8:01 PM
Kermit suicide? I nearly sprayed my screen with beer when I read that. That was the funniest comment out of all the recaps I have read. I couldn't believe that TC was going to serve that green crap, but then again, I'm not a chef. I'm not even a wannabe.
I think TC and Baldhawk will be eliminated next week, leaving Foo and Hung in the finals. My money is on Foo for the win and for Hung to pull a knife and hurl himself towards the judges table.
8 of 21 | Posted by snorwich | Posted on September 23, 2007 8:02 PM
Kermit suicide? I nearly sprayed my screen with beer when I read that. That was the funniest comment out of all the recaps I have read. I couldn't believe that TC was going to serve that green crap, but then again, I'm not a chef. I'm not even a wannabe.
I think TC and Baldhawk will be eliminated next week, leaving Foo and Hung in the finals. My money is on Foo for the win and for Hung to pull a knife and hurl himself towards the judges table.
9 of 21 | Posted by snorwich | Posted on September 23, 2007 8:04 PM
so entertaining.. who needs broadcast television any more... cancell my cable.. I will just read Flipit... but do something about having to go to the top of the page to change pages... loved the one page thing but if you wanbt us to click.. put the numbers on the bottom og the page dudes... give us a freaking break already!
10 of 21 | Posted by giffordsaz | Posted on September 23, 2007 10:39 PM
HOLLA!
you guys thanks so much for making me a happy man. sorry about the f ed up comment system. hopefully it will be fixed by monday's end. and i have to say, i am absolutely ashamed of myself for not suggesting that all those old frenchies passed scar around like a candy sampler during commercial breaks. those totally are her types, so good call on that one!!
and the thought of foo taking it and hung hurling at the judges with a knife is just BEAUTIFUL. hahahahahaaaaa thnx and love
11 of 21 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on September 23, 2007 11:17 PM
Oh Mr. Flipit you've done it again, My co's here are so hating on me for all this giggling, and I'm trying to keep it on the down lo--imagine!!!! Too, too funny, loved Kermie . . . loved that Scar will eat anything . . . obviously I saw that screen grab before, and even before I read the lead in, but I still howled!!!!!! I'm so with kimbubbly . . . NO ONE understands unless they are reading you!!!!! HEART
Also, older rooster--isn't rooster a chicken . . . all this time, all that chicken I've been eating is only girl meat and no boy . . . wowowow . . . I guess eating rooster is one way to get some c*ck!!
12 of 21 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on September 24, 2007 12:39 PM
Ha! I love it, "The Kermit Sucides" all it needs is some narration by Eugenides. Good recap flipit. I am so hating Trannywheels. He has to go. Especially, with his bitchout "no one helped me" bs. He had an extra 1.5 hr!
I was glad to see Sara go, I was hoping she would stammer "I disagree with you, I diagree with you!" when Gail said her chicken was raw.
13 of 21 | Posted by mattypopo | Posted on September 24, 2007 1:01 PM
I was glad to see Gail again too.... and Padma was in heaven with all the old dudes around. How Dale made it to the final 4 is beyond me. He's the worst I've seen slip thru the cracks. Hung deserves to win... then he and Marcel can have their own show... Pegster has the perfect name for it... "Hung Like a Monkey".
14 of 21 | Posted by chooch850 | Posted on September 24, 2007 2:20 PM
forgot to mention!
"The second CJ was booted, Dung jumped him in the alley, stole his remaining ball, and fried it up for the Frenchies. It's not enough to beat a man, you have to steal his dignity too??"
OMG!!! You're Jenius!!!
15 of 21 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on September 24, 2007 4:12 PM
Pegster - you came up with this title "Hung Like a Monkey"?
Sheer JEANIOUS!
16 of 21 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on September 24, 2007 4:12 PM
Pegster - you came up with this title "Hung Like a Monkey"?
Sheer JEANIOUS!
17 of 21 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on September 24, 2007 4:16 PM
Okay, #1 - I never posted TWICE, I just refreshed the broken page.
sheesh.
Okay, I dug the screencap of smirking Hung. He's lucky he didn't lose a digit. Keep your eyes on your knife, showoff.
Baldhawk -- it's "duo" not "duet" you wanker.
Stop press - Gail is "not a fan" of undercooked chicken. Really? Is anyone??
How that disgusting-looking Kermit puree did not lose is beyond me. Everyone knows that eating starts with the eyes. I don't care how great it tasted, it looked vile.
And wasn't the challenge supposed to be about elegance or some such?
Those questions they all asked about the dish they had to reproduce were smart. I also wanted to know if the potato slices were blanched before frying. (they weren't, which probably makes a huge difference in the frying).
That looked like a tough challenge, in fact. And yeah, why should Hung have revealed his technique? Nice try, losers.
I predict Hung vs Rachel Green. It's anyone's game now.
18 of 21 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on September 24, 2007 5:17 PM
Dude, please stop calling Padma "Scar". The woman was in a car accident when she was a teenager. It's NOT cute, like Chenbot.
19 of 21 | Posted by dacnova | Posted on September 24, 2007 5:59 PM
Scar is a cute nickname and it's not like he's calling her that to her face, sheesh! The man has principles you know!
Hey flipit thanks for the pic of Salman Rushdie. And you're right, if she put him in her mouth, anything goes! That dude is freaky looking and old. So much for her palate. Great recap as usual and flipit you can call me anything you want.
LOVE>
20 of 21 | Posted by CheriesTake | Posted on September 24, 2007 9:03 PM
Dacnova,
Scar is a funny name. Anybody that takes themselves that seriousley deserves a little razzing. And why in the hell do people come to a website named 'tvgasm" for PC written articles. I gotta go and push this old guy in a rascal (that I like to call Wheels) down the stairs. Always good for a laugh, har har har!
21 of 21 | Posted by mattypopo | Posted on September 25, 2007 12:04 PM