Dale's up next with his pineapple fried rice and grilled scallops, which gets a fair reception and look amazing to me. Mutton, meanwhile, is coming late to the miso party we saw earlier in the season, and is offering spitty miso-glazed turkey over rice. Yeah, that's one party he should have skipped as Art and Scar complain about the lack of sauce and the dryness of the meat -- so dry that Scar can't even tell what kind of meat it is! Oh, Scar, you minx, pretending you're not used to old, dried-up meat. Bringing up the rear is Twitch (whom I don't hate, to answer a reader's question... his jerky awkwardness just makes me uncomfortable, and Evangelass brings out his douchey side), with a wild rice crusted fish with almonds. It looks awesome and is totally something I would eat. Art seems impressed with the creativity, but believes Twitch needed more than 15 minutes to get it right.
The results are in, and Art picks Mutton, Yoda (ouch!), and Fleasa as his bottom three. In the top are Dale and Richard (aka double trouble), as well as Antonia -- who wins immunity. Antonia's such a wild card... she swings from the very best to the very worst, depending on the week. Not only does she annoy me as a person, but I think I'd rather see someone stick around who gets consistent B+'s than someone who fluctuates from A's to D's. What about you?
Whaddya think Jeff... club her in the knees?
Sounds good, Tonya.
Once the QF results are over, it's time to announce the Elimination Challenge. As cofounder of Common Threads, a charity group dedicated to the nutrition and general well-being of children, Art strongly believes that the family sitting around the table to eat dinner together is very important. As a result, this week's EC is to create a healthy meal for a family of four using only $10. It also has to be something the family really could cook at home on their own. Everyone's understandably freaked out, especially Twitch, who sees his lobster dreams go down the drain.
At Whole Foods, Dale shoves Richard out of the way as they race into the store. Those two are perfect for one another.. Everyone heads straight for the chicken, given that it's easy, healthy and cheap. Which is why I have the equivalent of Chicken Little's entire family in my freezer as we speak. Seeing this, Dale decides that he wants to separate himself from the pack, as well as show he can doing something other than Asian food, and goes for turkey brats. Meanwhile, Yoda's struggling because she grew up on gourmet foods hand-fed to her by a legion of servants, evidently. She doesn't know dick about cooking healthy or on a budget, and has no idea what to do. So she wanders around, throwing a little bit of everything in her basket. I hope this is all misdirection, because seeing her eliminated would be a huge upset.
As a single mom (shocker no one wanted to stick around with her ass), Antonia thinks she has an advantage for she's used to cooking nutritious meals on a budget. She decides to go with a pasta stir-fry dish, while Mutton's leaning towards a vegetarian curry. At the check-out counter, everyone's struggling to stay within budget, and is forced to run back and forth to trade out for cheaper or smaller items. Some of them even resort to shredding down their produce right there, trying to shave off a few pennies at a time. Wow, I hope they did their shopping at some random time on a weekday, because I would have gone homicidal waiting in line behind these ass clowns. Don't think I'm above beating someone with a stalk of broccoli. I also hope the producers reimbursed Whole Foods for the food the contestants destroyed to fall within their budget. Can you imagine if someone tried to do that in real life? You know, I think I really only need have a can of soup.... ::splash::
My weekly reaction to my grocery bill these days...
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Comments (14)
Although I do have a fondness for Yoda, I actually thought it was fair that Mutton went home; his concept was kind of dumb. No protein? At all? For growing chill'ens? Christ, throw in a few chickpeas at least!
This was probably the touchy-feeliest episode thus far, which kind of made me love everyone a little. (Except for Fleasa/Greasa. And Evangelass.) Who'd have guessed that Antonia is a mom? And that Twitch used to be a pudgers? And that Dale is THAT short?
1 of 14 | Posted by MissKatrina | Posted on May 2, 2008 8:11 AM
Richard kinda creeped me out a little when he stated that he wanted to get home to "make some kids", methinks he protests too much... Pink Crocs?? And I agree with whoever said it last week, that when you have to tell everyone how funny you are, you're not. Doesn't he already have his own resturant?
I don't know who I am routing for yet, most of the girls get on my nerves especially Niki, if I had to hear one more time how her single mother left her alone to cook at 8 years old, I was going to throw a shoe at her!! I do believe that it was Mutton's time to go, he wasn't doing too well on the last couple of challenges. Evanglass is one of my favorites and I guess Dale is okay too.
2 of 14 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on May 2, 2008 10:22 AM
Two comments:
1: Mutton's an idiot. He should have added chickpeas or something like that to the curry. As a vegetarian myself it's a great way to add protein to a dish.
2. I think this is your second reference to Paganism/Wicca in a negative way (making them seem satanic, because people will use them to curse others). You should learn something about them before making stupid comments like that. They are not satanic, hell they don't even believe in satan, and they are nature loving and peaceful.
Ignorance is annoying.
3 of 14 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on May 2, 2008 12:14 PM
How is no one mentioning when Twitch said that he had a "culinary boner" at the very very end after the previews??? I guffawed. I love that crazy cat and that fact that he used to have a weight problem just endears me more.
This recap was also LAUGH out loud hilarious. Thanks!
4 of 14 | Posted by pfft | Posted on May 2, 2008 12:22 PM
in addition to Richard wanting to make babies..(it was delivered so unenthusiastically...why bother?), did anyone notice him talking about fashion with his young apprentice? Something about matching colors. Seeing kids at that awkward 10-11 year old phase does not inspire me to procreate. Just sympathy for all the existential angst.
5 of 14 | Posted by dredge | Posted on May 2, 2008 12:27 PM
Art Smith = Rip Taylor
6 of 14 | Posted by dredge | Posted on May 2, 2008 12:34 PM
Pixi-stix:
I'm sorry if I offended you or anyone else by any of the comments or jokes I've made in a recap. I certainly don't believe that Wiccans are Satanic anymore than I believe that Twitch is actually a crackhead or that Ryan's father really sent his daughter to work in a sweatshop. However, I see your point, and hope you accept my apologies.
In contrast, what I actually DO believe is that Fleasa's never seen a bar of soap in her life.
7 of 14 | Posted by LoLo | Posted on May 2, 2008 12:53 PM
Hey all, sooooo . . . coming from Salem, yes, that ironic witch killing town where people weren't witches, but just had moles or lots of property, but wiccan's gather there anyway, I can applaud you pixi in your correctness of the earthloving nature of true wiccans, but seriously, GF! you weren't really offended were ya!? Even I joke about my witchly status and play upon the stereotypes--tho I guess I insinuate that I can read minds . . . perhaps I can, coz I often feel the flames of hell burning me for my awful thoughts, even when I don't type them here. NIce of you to apologize LoLo, and as the wiccans say, (and the reason I'm not really one) Blessed be! It's just as bad as bless you, I'll stick to have a good one . . .
Art Smith is way hotter than Rip Taylor, but I guess I see your point, dredge!
Funny observation about the heart doodle, very cute of her, but honestly, Art's one of my kind, you know gay and all, right!? Should have been Art and Daddy! Bears in love 4eva!
I did enjoy the kids cooking, but I have to say, I think the producers nudged yoda and said "Hey Girl, you're winning too many of these and we don't want a predictable season, so give one up for the gipper, and we promise not to eliminate you." Kinda like Richard and scales gate, no, is it just me, am I going to be singed again!? I know I should believe in the sanctity of reality TV and the honesty of the producers, but HELL NO! It's all corrupt!!! And kuddos to said producers for showing Mutton saying DT doesn't like him, and shipping his ass home anyway--way to play with us, guys and gals to whom we bow to the consideration of at elimination time . . .
8 of 14 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on May 2, 2008 2:45 PM
LoLo: thanks for the apology. It's not so much that I was offended (since I know Wicca/Paganism is not like that) I just hate for people out there to maybe read that and think it's so. They already get enough crap as it is =)
9 of 14 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on May 3, 2008 3:32 PM
Lolo, Nikki's dish wasn't actually one pot. Oh, it's actually cooked in one pot... AFTER you've cooked the chicken in another pot/pan first. My friend clued me in when she came over to dinner this week.
Love the new nickname!
10 of 14 | Posted by HereKittyKitty | Posted on May 3, 2008 7:28 PM
If I didn't know better, and I don't, I'd say Yoda was sabotaging herself this week. There's no way she goes from being a top contestant with a seemingly impeccable sense of what looks and tastes extraordinary and also pleases the judges to a confused, disinterested hack with the kitchen sensibilities of a seven year old. I honestly believe the pressure of the show, the back-stabbings, or some other unpleasant happenings caused her to say "fuck it" and try to get herself axed. Too bad her previously strong showing weren't going to allow that to happen and the bumbling, sloppy goofball Aussie got the smackdown for his accumulation of nasty food and nastier unsanitary habits. So Nikki finally did something right... she knows how to cook a chicken in a pot for a family. Maybe that's what she should be home doing then, because she's definitely not capable of cooking for paying customers.
Great recap as usual btw :)
11 of 14 | Posted by vango | Posted on May 5, 2008 8:48 PM
Actually Richard's wife is expecting this spring. I believe she was already pregnant at the time of filming. (Not that I was there..... LOL)
Congrats to whomever named Evangelass & Fleasa!
Honestly, Steph *should've* gone home. If they can let her fly by, why couldn't they have let Tre fly by one week! (STILL upset about that)
12 of 14 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on May 6, 2008 1:11 PM
Oh, forgot to add....
Making a Roasted Chicken with Potatoes & Veggies does not make one a "Chef". It makes one a "Cook".
At least the others tried to do something different, even if it was as lame as Carrot Soup.
Oh, and did anyone else think Mark's curry dish looked like Stephanie's dish after it had come up again?
13 of 14 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on May 6, 2008 1:23 PM
if I hear Fleasa complain about one more thing I'm gonna break my television! I simply can't believe someone could be that negative. She should have gone home before Mutton. I liked him and his vegimite.
14 of 14 | Posted by realityjunkie | Posted on May 14, 2008 8:31 PM