Back at their house, Antonia calls her daughter (who sounds adorable) to tell terrible knock-knock jokes about poo. Great thing to teach your child. In the morning, the contestants all head out to begin the challenge -- only to be interrupted by Scar and Art, who announce that each contestant will have a child helper. As Antonia bawls, thinking about her daughter, Richard smiles creepily at the kids until they start nervously contemplating screaming "stranger danger!" The kids have already been paired up with a contestant -- anyone else wish we could have seen the kids pick who they wanted to work with, playground style? Who do you think would have been first and last chosen? -- so the teams split off to start cooking.
Fleasa's paired with a little boy, which she's excited about since her girlfriend has a son and she's used to cooking with him. Evidently her girlfriend's son has a knife fetish, and Fleasa is surprisingly smart enough to realize that's a bad idea. Richard's going overboard with the niceties with his kid, and is determined to buck the stereotype that kids don't like beets. Why not just throw in some brussels sprouts and spinach while you're at it? Meanwhile, Antonia gives us a frightening look at her parenting skills as she turns over a knife to her tyke. Good thing she's not dating Fleasa's woman. But Evangelass beats her to the punch -- drawing his kid's blood first with a carrot peeler. But don't worry -- Evangelass tells him it's good luck to cut yourself. If years later that kid's slicing at his thigh before finals, we'll know who to blame.
Mutton's kid looks terrified -- or maybe she simply can't understand him -- as he tries to describe what curry tastes like. Even Mutton now realizes that curry + children maybe wasn't the brightest idea he's ever had. Things seem to be going smoothly for Nikki and Dale (who reveals he's 5'5"... no wonder he became a chef. It was either that or never get laid), as neither one of their kids are bleeding or look like they want to cry yet. Twitch is also getting along well with his helper, and reveals to us that he used to be over 200 pounds. And now we finally know why he first became addicted to crack. Say what you will about it, but you'll drop 80 pounds in a jiffy. Seriously, though -- good for him.
Hey buddy, stay focused. This isn't the time for a snack.
Daddy Tom is in the house to see how everyone is doing. He stops by Richard first, who's in the middle of taking a big taste of his dish, and then drops the spoon back in the pot as both DT and his kid watch with oh-no-he-didnt! faces. Instead of talking to Richard, Daddy Tom mostly talks to the little girl, who does a pretty great job answering his questions about their chicken and beans dish. Going over to Dale next, he finds out from Dale's adorable kid that the best part about cooking is getting to eat it. I concur, little man. After briefly checking in with Nikki, Daddy Tom moseys on over to Mutton to see how the curry is coming along. Despite DT's best efforts, Mutton's girl remains mute. She's a charmer, that one.
Daddy Tom then takes a moment to share with us his observations. He seems to approve of Twitch's dish so far as he grimaces, watching his kid banging meat with a pan. He's the least of your child-endangerment concerns, DT. Daddy Tom also is impressed by the way Evangelass managed to stretch his $10 to cover three different dishes -- pasta, soup (oh boy, anyone else seeing a pattern here?) and an apple dessert. As for criticism, DT and I both think Yoda's peanut-tomato sauce sounds a little gross. Dude, I'm really getting worried she's going home... especially when she comments that her couscous may not only taste terrible, but may be overcooked as well.
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Comments (14)
Although I do have a fondness for Yoda, I actually thought it was fair that Mutton went home; his concept was kind of dumb. No protein? At all? For growing chill'ens? Christ, throw in a few chickpeas at least!
This was probably the touchy-feeliest episode thus far, which kind of made me love everyone a little. (Except for Fleasa/Greasa. And Evangelass.) Who'd have guessed that Antonia is a mom? And that Twitch used to be a pudgers? And that Dale is THAT short?
1 of 14 | Posted by MissKatrina | Posted on May 2, 2008 8:11 AM
Richard kinda creeped me out a little when he stated that he wanted to get home to "make some kids", methinks he protests too much... Pink Crocs?? And I agree with whoever said it last week, that when you have to tell everyone how funny you are, you're not. Doesn't he already have his own resturant?
I don't know who I am routing for yet, most of the girls get on my nerves especially Niki, if I had to hear one more time how her single mother left her alone to cook at 8 years old, I was going to throw a shoe at her!! I do believe that it was Mutton's time to go, he wasn't doing too well on the last couple of challenges. Evanglass is one of my favorites and I guess Dale is okay too.
2 of 14 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on May 2, 2008 10:22 AM
Two comments:
1: Mutton's an idiot. He should have added chickpeas or something like that to the curry. As a vegetarian myself it's a great way to add protein to a dish.
2. I think this is your second reference to Paganism/Wicca in a negative way (making them seem satanic, because people will use them to curse others). You should learn something about them before making stupid comments like that. They are not satanic, hell they don't even believe in satan, and they are nature loving and peaceful.
Ignorance is annoying.
3 of 14 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on May 2, 2008 12:14 PM
How is no one mentioning when Twitch said that he had a "culinary boner" at the very very end after the previews??? I guffawed. I love that crazy cat and that fact that he used to have a weight problem just endears me more.
This recap was also LAUGH out loud hilarious. Thanks!
4 of 14 | Posted by pfft | Posted on May 2, 2008 12:22 PM
in addition to Richard wanting to make babies..(it was delivered so unenthusiastically...why bother?), did anyone notice him talking about fashion with his young apprentice? Something about matching colors. Seeing kids at that awkward 10-11 year old phase does not inspire me to procreate. Just sympathy for all the existential angst.
5 of 14 | Posted by dredge | Posted on May 2, 2008 12:27 PM
Art Smith = Rip Taylor
6 of 14 | Posted by dredge | Posted on May 2, 2008 12:34 PM
Pixi-stix:
I'm sorry if I offended you or anyone else by any of the comments or jokes I've made in a recap. I certainly don't believe that Wiccans are Satanic anymore than I believe that Twitch is actually a crackhead or that Ryan's father really sent his daughter to work in a sweatshop. However, I see your point, and hope you accept my apologies.
In contrast, what I actually DO believe is that Fleasa's never seen a bar of soap in her life.
7 of 14 | Posted by LoLo | Posted on May 2, 2008 12:53 PM
Hey all, sooooo . . . coming from Salem, yes, that ironic witch killing town where people weren't witches, but just had moles or lots of property, but wiccan's gather there anyway, I can applaud you pixi in your correctness of the earthloving nature of true wiccans, but seriously, GF! you weren't really offended were ya!? Even I joke about my witchly status and play upon the stereotypes--tho I guess I insinuate that I can read minds . . . perhaps I can, coz I often feel the flames of hell burning me for my awful thoughts, even when I don't type them here. NIce of you to apologize LoLo, and as the wiccans say, (and the reason I'm not really one) Blessed be! It's just as bad as bless you, I'll stick to have a good one . . .
Art Smith is way hotter than Rip Taylor, but I guess I see your point, dredge!
Funny observation about the heart doodle, very cute of her, but honestly, Art's one of my kind, you know gay and all, right!? Should have been Art and Daddy! Bears in love 4eva!
I did enjoy the kids cooking, but I have to say, I think the producers nudged yoda and said "Hey Girl, you're winning too many of these and we don't want a predictable season, so give one up for the gipper, and we promise not to eliminate you." Kinda like Richard and scales gate, no, is it just me, am I going to be singed again!? I know I should believe in the sanctity of reality TV and the honesty of the producers, but HELL NO! It's all corrupt!!! And kuddos to said producers for showing Mutton saying DT doesn't like him, and shipping his ass home anyway--way to play with us, guys and gals to whom we bow to the consideration of at elimination time . . .
8 of 14 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on May 2, 2008 2:45 PM
LoLo: thanks for the apology. It's not so much that I was offended (since I know Wicca/Paganism is not like that) I just hate for people out there to maybe read that and think it's so. They already get enough crap as it is =)
9 of 14 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on May 3, 2008 3:32 PM
Lolo, Nikki's dish wasn't actually one pot. Oh, it's actually cooked in one pot... AFTER you've cooked the chicken in another pot/pan first. My friend clued me in when she came over to dinner this week.
Love the new nickname!
10 of 14 | Posted by HereKittyKitty | Posted on May 3, 2008 7:28 PM
If I didn't know better, and I don't, I'd say Yoda was sabotaging herself this week. There's no way she goes from being a top contestant with a seemingly impeccable sense of what looks and tastes extraordinary and also pleases the judges to a confused, disinterested hack with the kitchen sensibilities of a seven year old. I honestly believe the pressure of the show, the back-stabbings, or some other unpleasant happenings caused her to say "fuck it" and try to get herself axed. Too bad her previously strong showing weren't going to allow that to happen and the bumbling, sloppy goofball Aussie got the smackdown for his accumulation of nasty food and nastier unsanitary habits. So Nikki finally did something right... she knows how to cook a chicken in a pot for a family. Maybe that's what she should be home doing then, because she's definitely not capable of cooking for paying customers.
Great recap as usual btw :)
11 of 14 | Posted by vango | Posted on May 5, 2008 8:48 PM
Actually Richard's wife is expecting this spring. I believe she was already pregnant at the time of filming. (Not that I was there..... LOL)
Congrats to whomever named Evangelass & Fleasa!
Honestly, Steph *should've* gone home. If they can let her fly by, why couldn't they have let Tre fly by one week! (STILL upset about that)
12 of 14 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on May 6, 2008 1:11 PM
Oh, forgot to add....
Making a Roasted Chicken with Potatoes & Veggies does not make one a "Chef". It makes one a "Cook".
At least the others tried to do something different, even if it was as lame as Carrot Soup.
Oh, and did anyone else think Mark's curry dish looked like Stephanie's dish after it had come up again?
13 of 14 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on May 6, 2008 1:23 PM
if I hear Fleasa complain about one more thing I'm gonna break my television! I simply can't believe someone could be that negative. She should have gone home before Mutton. I liked him and his vegimite.
14 of 14 | Posted by realityjunkie | Posted on May 14, 2008 8:31 PM