Recap: Top Design: Gay Dad Loses A Trip to Mexico
When I temped for a large publishing house in New York, I assisted the front desk receptionist, a gal named Debbie. Debbie was like a walking Encyclopedia, she could type over 100 words a minute, and knew every inch of the company, but unfortunately she was busted ugly. Grooming skills weren't her forte, which shouldn't matter in this day and age, but as we all know, looks count. Debbie couldn't understand why she was always being passed up for promotions, so over lunch one day, I suggested she get a makeover. After she stopped crying, I explained to her that a little conditioner and and bit of eyebrow wax could change her whole life. She listened, and showed up the next day looking like a new, hot woman. People who refused to look her in the eye the afternoon before were suddenly forwarding her joke emails, inviting her to happy hour, and calling the front desk just to say hi. Well, come Monday morning, an old woman named Myra was sitting at Debbie's desk. I asked my boss what happened to my friend, and he rolled his eyes. "That floozy? She's outta here."
This week, Top Design taught us that white people are lazy complainers, fags trump hags, and if you want to be taken seriously, don't be fun. Be functional.
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Bravo continues to feed that upscale reality competition machine. Last night's finale of 
One day after eleventh grade, I had to help out at my Catholic School's Church running choir auditions because I got caught ditching PE to smoke some MJ under the bleachers. My job was basically to sign in the old ladies trying out and tell them where the bathroom was. Every single one of them asked. There was one biddy who clicked her tongue every time someone new went into the Chapel to sing. "She doesn't even know how to hum, how can she sing?" "No one who dresses that trampy is fit to sing for the Lord!" "She's ancient! She'll be dead before the end of the week." Hideous. 
Calvin wasn't only gorgeous on the outside, he was the sweetest human being I had ever met. I don't usually trust nice people. They're either feeling guilty about something and trying to hide it with thank you cards and kind nods to old people in the street or they're crazy and they want someone to sit there and listen to them ramble on. Calvin donated his time to actual. Charities. He was an enigma. I waited through seven dates filled with stories of helping out crack babies in South Central and global warming before I went for the full on pass at him.