Retired Storm, on the other hand, ignores the camp thing completely, only choosing to hear "sanctuary". Since her style is modern ethnic (???) she gets her mind set on an Asian theme. At first I think she's off her rocker, but then I remember that every karaoke bar has a disco ball, and karaoke is ethnic and modern, so there ya go. She is paired with Heather, who decides it might be better to not make waves in the first challenge and get along and go along with the Asian theme, even though her very large eyes tell us she thinks it's a bad idea. Stand up for your right, girl! Storm won't hurt you, she's retired. All the other designers are on their best behavior for the first challenge and go out of their way to work well together. Well, all but Butch and the Wiggum kid, an obviously rigged disaster pairing. I want to see them choose their damn paint chips! Michael suggests using a rag technique and the Wiggum boy almost faints from disapproval and counters with a high gloss wall. This is Butch's testosterone ridden reaction.
When the designers are let loose in the PDC, it's a spending orgy. Retired Storm has her heart set on an antique Asian bed that would take up the entire space, but has "out of the box" idea for her walls. Rectangular Asian tape off technique! Out of the box or out of a box? You decide. Heather tries to drag Storm to stores with a more "wacky" element, but it's too late. The bed was bought so anything "wacky" would have to be Asian day bead inspired. They bought some other very small, boring pieces (there wasn't any room left) and ended up 10 grand under budget. That's a dirty sin, is what it is.
Who could be miserable with fifty grand in the biggest design mall in the country? Butch and the Wiggum boy, of course. Butch says flat out he's gonna do things his way, but even though I HATE him it's hard to argue when Wiggum's big plan is Chicago Suburb. Yowsers. Butch won't allow him to pick fabrics or have any say. He makes him carry things and openly refers to him as "my bitch". Wiggum fights back by whining loudly, rolling his eyes and complaining to anyone within earshot. Straighten up for five minutes and be a man, Ralph! He makes it worse for himself when Butch finally caves and hands him a paint roller and he doesn't know what to do with it. The Wiggum kid is incredulous. No, he doesn't know how to paint, and doesn't expect to need that skill. In the world of design. Oh, dear. The second Butch turns his back, Wiggum drops the roller to gossip with the girls. He does the head roll and snap and talks smack about being better than everyone else. UGH. Society has done this by torturing him when he was young. We should all be ashamed.
Back at the PDC workspace, Heather looks over at Felicia and Matt, who are doing "major construction". She is worried that she and Retired Storm are being decorators instead of designers, but bitching to the cameras and taking a stand are two different things. She says she has a natural sense of urgency, and she's nervous. You don't say.
The next day, the sock brings them some positive energy along with some bad news. Two of them will be eliminated today. Goil giggles dorkily to the camera. "I don't want to go home, Todd, I want to hang out with you!" Giggle giggle. Wow. These boys love that puppet. Things are coming together with the projects, and some themes are emerging. Lots of green, and lots of Zen. Eastern spiritualism has been raped so hard by American designers that there's no longer anything relaxing about it. It's unjust to force a Buddha statue to watch the things that must happen in the sanctuary of anyone that can be described by a disco ball. I call this Buddha rape, and it must be stopped!
The challenge is nearing an end, but we haven't really seen much yet, because we've been force fed the Tale of Butch and the Wiggum Kid for the past half hour. I hope these bozos are being featured so heavily because they get the axe today. After getting yelled at for touching a wet wall, the Wiggum kid screams "I hate you!" and stalks off. Butch retorts "Well you know what, sweetheart? I ain't in love with you neither, baby cakes!" Please make it stop.
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Comments (20)
Hey guys! Sorry for the late-ass recap.
This week I return to my regular Sunday deadline. HEART
1 of 20 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on February 6, 2007 6:09 PM
By the way, Flipit, you forgot to mention one of Arquette's best movies is actually one of my favorite movies ever: Last Exit to Brooklyn. It actually is one of "the tranny's" best acted portrayals. It also stars Ricki Lake and Jerry Orbach in minor roles...
2 of 20 | Posted by slutty_whore
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Posted on February 6, 2007 7:02 PM
I am really having a hard time listening to Todd Oldham...he keeps putting the accent on the wrong words in his sentences. It has a weird lilt to it that just hurts my ears. And he is quite dull.
I hope that all the challenges aren't 50K budgets...I would like to see a little "design a bathroom and for a budget you have bus tokens" or "design a jail cell and to get the paint you have to barter using two cartons of cigs."
Alexis is the prettiest Arquette. How sad is that?!
hb
3 of 20 | Posted by HoneyBunny
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Posted on February 6, 2007 7:12 PM
By the way, Flipit, with all the controversy on the Top Chef boards, I hope you haven't stopped the opening preamble because of what the people said.
4 of 20 | Posted by slutty_whore
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Posted on February 6, 2007 7:25 PM
You're the bestest. Wax them brows!
5 of 20 | Posted by photochild
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Posted on February 6, 2007 8:02 PM
awe Flipit, I so want to hear your story about the wedding, the bowl and Cousin B......don't leave your life out of the recaps, it is what has endeared you to us....
I would like to know what 5 items you would have given to have them design you a room too>>> pretty please.
I think in time this show will capture us all.... if they kick 2 every week it should go quick too!
6 of 20 | Posted by GIFFORDSAZ
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Posted on February 6, 2007 8:12 PM
And there is no need to apologize... remember this was a two-fer week, Top Chef and Top Design.....you must have had no life last week end!
7 of 20 | Posted by GIFFORDSAZ
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Posted on February 6, 2007 8:31 PM
Thanks for the well wishes, all! Just left out the "foam" (hehe, dredge) this week cuz I was already at 8 pages and late. Next week back to foam form. Or this week I should say.
And Giff:
a box of hostess chocolate glazed donuts
a tivo
a smelly Jack Russell
a crystal ashtray
paper clip covered in tar
GO!
8 of 20 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on February 6, 2007 11:04 PM
I had a hard time watching this show, Todd was just creeping me out. He sounded like Mr. Rogers on crack!! I got through it though and loved your recap. Lisa/Storm that was right on the money. A couple of months ago, when I found out "lost" was moving to 10pm, I was freaking out. But I see I don't have to worry anymore...
9 of 20 | Posted by Featherhead
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Posted on February 7, 2007 7:26 AM
Well, we won't have to wait until the next Padma-tastrophe to get a Flipit review! I am glad to see see that B-side and the like did not put Flipit out on the TVGasm unemployment line. As always, great job Flipit.
I think there is a factory for the Bravo reality shows. Because the life has not been squeezed out of this formula, there will be another one in additon to Top Design. The one is a hair show called "Shear Genius" I think. It's nice to see that Bravo will keep those gay viewers!
As for Top Design, I HATE Wiggam and Butch but they are going to make this show interesting (like the monkey). The judges are going to be good, especially Margaret. I reserve judgement on the other designers for at least another episode.
10 of 20 | Posted by HokieJM
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Posted on February 7, 2007 8:51 AM
Aww, you guys don't like Todd Oldham? He seems like such a nice guy!
11 of 20 | Posted by Rock Star
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Posted on February 7, 2007 8:53 AM
well, i for one, am happy for this show b/c it will only mean more Flipit!! the recap was so enjoyable, much more entertaining than the show. Luv the Wiggum & Storm monikors, loved how you ripped the mean Butch a new one---i think we should nickname the Skateboarder dude, 'Squiggy', as he reminds me of the dude from Laverne & Shirley. I think this show will be a little like Project Runway, in that only the truly wacky designs will be lauded over --- the stuff you & i would pick will not be what wins. I would never pick the Kitty Litter room for my house (THAT was $50K??!! didn't even spring for paint!!)
Loved the comment abt Todd O. being like a Mr Rogers on crack! and #s) 4 & 6 -- your comments were so sweet! Flipit, can u feel the luv?! your fans heart u back!
12 of 20 | Posted by Tati
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Posted on February 7, 2007 9:04 AM
Flipit, you are Snarktastic! Second, the minute Todd O. started to speak I screamed "PADMA!!!" in horror at the TV and my sis was like "No, that's just his gay lisp". By the way, isn't Margaret so Miranda Priestly? I was expecting "That's all" any minute while she was critiquing...
13 of 20 | Posted by Justine
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Posted on February 7, 2007 12:11 PM
Flipit I totally agree with you about Buddha rape, it must be stopped. Lol
14 of 20 | Posted by angiemarie
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Posted on February 7, 2007 12:12 PM
Everyone looks so much younger than their age. Goil is so cute, I'll be rooting for him!
15 of 20 | Posted by couchpotato
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Posted on February 7, 2007 12:45 PM
I love you Flipit! I'm usually just a lurker on here, but I wanted to tell you that I lurved your stories at the beginning of your recaps. Don't give them up! I'm sure there are many life lessons to be learned through Top Design.
16 of 20 | Posted by mandarine688
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Posted on February 7, 2007 1:43 PM
Flipit you are fab, I was so excited to see a Top Design recap posted! I agree with everyone else in that I'm very glad you're back with more post-Top Chef recaps
I think you should seriously consider taking over My Super Sweet Sixteen recaps, I think your family flashbacks would bode well at the beginning of 16-year-old birthday parties...
seriously do it!
17 of 20 | Posted by cherin
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Posted on February 7, 2007 2:24 PM
I know that this is gay-friendly BRAVO, but couldn't they do better than Alexis Arquette? What's next, a confetti-strewn room for Rip Taylor?
18 of 20 | Posted by Foxbase Alpha
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Posted on February 7, 2007 4:25 PM
love the recap flipit!
are the pictures oddly stretched out in all flipit recaps for anyone else? not a big deal, but everyone looks extra wide.
19 of 20 | Posted by yaytv
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Posted on February 7, 2007 6:11 PM
when Alexis was "Alex" Arquette he was the Boy George singer in The Wedding Singer. I liked him better as a he, but I agree SHE should definitely hit up her sis-in-law for a job on Dirt.
I didn't like any of their rooms. They just didn't look comfortable, and what about ones with no TV's? 50K and no big-screen? Ridiculous!
great job Flipit! :)
20 of 20 | Posted by zoobabe
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Posted on February 8, 2007 4:57 AM