Todd comes around to gage the progress being made. The only thing done in Heather and Retired Storm's room is the angular Asian tape-off painting, but he loves the green. He also likes Ryan and Andrea's room, and since it's the exact same green as Retired Storm's, he can't say anything bad about it. He says Ryan seems really calm and he likes his "veneer". I had to rewind this, because the sock puppet just called Ryan a fake bitch with so much love that no one got it. Todd's impressed with the work today, but it's time to let the judges have their say in the White Room, which is so over the top I smile from ear to ear.
Since this is a new show, and I am only a ghetto hobby designer, I had to Google the Judges. Here's what I found out. Head Judge Jonathan Adler got his start working for Barney's New York and expanded into his own line of textiles and pottery. His favorite era is the 50's and he describes his style as being modern, but warm. Simple, clean crisp lines along with rich comfie fabrics. The more I read, the more I pictured my Meemaw in the Jetsons age. I mean that in a good way, I think. He also mentions in one article that he is an avid reality show watcher. He must be peeing his pants right now.
Kelly Wearstler is a famous interior designer known for being uber-chic and fabulous. She has been featured in numerous style magazines (including multiple appearances in Vogue) and owns her own line of rugs and textiles in addition to the design firm that bears her name. She wrote a book called Modern Glamour to teach you how to be glamorous at all times, and she looks like a heroine in a Jackie Collins book. I hope she is as much of a ruthless bitch as her fiction counterparts.
Margaret Russell is the editor-in-chief of Elle Décor Magazine and the lady they keep showing in the previews saying "you can't just design a room around a cat!" so I automatically love her. She is a bit reserved this first go round, but I have a feeling when the freak flags start flying they are going to ruffle the whole slick society woman from the 50's thing she's got going on. I hope so.
Now that we've said hello to out lovely Judges, it's time to meet our mystery guest! The puppet says she's from Hollywood royalty and is herself an actress. Hollywood royalty? You better work those connections, Top Design! Drew Barrymore in the house! And drumroll, please!
Well, they said it would be a "mystery"...
Alexis Arquette had me stunned and blinded. I pressed pause, took a deep breath, and popped four aspirin. If I didn't have the internet to teach me things, I would have gone the entire episode thinking the mystery guest was another incarnation of that cat lady chick who's addicted to plastic surgery.
Jocelyn Wildenstein? Honey, is that you?
Turns out Alexis was born Robert Arquette but eventually morphed from a mediocre male actor into an underground cartoonist, a musician, a drag queen called Eva Destruction, and an actress in such films as Killer Drag Queens on Dope, Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror, and a couple porn flicks. Wikipedia says she doesn't like being called a man or a woman. She prefers "tranny". Alrighty, then, Alexis. That explains the butterfly. Halfway through the bottle of wine I was chugging, I realized her sister in law is Courtney Cox and wondered if they snuck off at weddings together to smoke a bowl. Damn, Courtney you have a goldmine of material here for a show people might actually watch. Open your eyes!
Dirt Shmirt
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Comments (20)
Hey guys! Sorry for the late-ass recap.
This week I return to my regular Sunday deadline. HEART
1 of 20 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on February 6, 2007 6:09 PM
By the way, Flipit, you forgot to mention one of Arquette's best movies is actually one of my favorite movies ever: Last Exit to Brooklyn. It actually is one of "the tranny's" best acted portrayals. It also stars Ricki Lake and Jerry Orbach in minor roles...
2 of 20 | Posted by slutty_whore
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Posted on February 6, 2007 7:02 PM
I am really having a hard time listening to Todd Oldham...he keeps putting the accent on the wrong words in his sentences. It has a weird lilt to it that just hurts my ears. And he is quite dull.
I hope that all the challenges aren't 50K budgets...I would like to see a little "design a bathroom and for a budget you have bus tokens" or "design a jail cell and to get the paint you have to barter using two cartons of cigs."
Alexis is the prettiest Arquette. How sad is that?!
hb
3 of 20 | Posted by HoneyBunny
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Posted on February 6, 2007 7:12 PM
By the way, Flipit, with all the controversy on the Top Chef boards, I hope you haven't stopped the opening preamble because of what the people said.
4 of 20 | Posted by slutty_whore
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Posted on February 6, 2007 7:25 PM
You're the bestest. Wax them brows!
5 of 20 | Posted by photochild
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Posted on February 6, 2007 8:02 PM
awe Flipit, I so want to hear your story about the wedding, the bowl and Cousin B......don't leave your life out of the recaps, it is what has endeared you to us....
I would like to know what 5 items you would have given to have them design you a room too>>> pretty please.
I think in time this show will capture us all.... if they kick 2 every week it should go quick too!
6 of 20 | Posted by GIFFORDSAZ
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Posted on February 6, 2007 8:12 PM
And there is no need to apologize... remember this was a two-fer week, Top Chef and Top Design.....you must have had no life last week end!
7 of 20 | Posted by GIFFORDSAZ
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Posted on February 6, 2007 8:31 PM
Thanks for the well wishes, all! Just left out the "foam" (hehe, dredge) this week cuz I was already at 8 pages and late. Next week back to foam form. Or this week I should say.
And Giff:
a box of hostess chocolate glazed donuts
a tivo
a smelly Jack Russell
a crystal ashtray
paper clip covered in tar
GO!
8 of 20 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on February 6, 2007 11:04 PM
I had a hard time watching this show, Todd was just creeping me out. He sounded like Mr. Rogers on crack!! I got through it though and loved your recap. Lisa/Storm that was right on the money. A couple of months ago, when I found out "lost" was moving to 10pm, I was freaking out. But I see I don't have to worry anymore...
9 of 20 | Posted by Featherhead
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Posted on February 7, 2007 7:26 AM
Well, we won't have to wait until the next Padma-tastrophe to get a Flipit review! I am glad to see see that B-side and the like did not put Flipit out on the TVGasm unemployment line. As always, great job Flipit.
I think there is a factory for the Bravo reality shows. Because the life has not been squeezed out of this formula, there will be another one in additon to Top Design. The one is a hair show called "Shear Genius" I think. It's nice to see that Bravo will keep those gay viewers!
As for Top Design, I HATE Wiggam and Butch but they are going to make this show interesting (like the monkey). The judges are going to be good, especially Margaret. I reserve judgement on the other designers for at least another episode.
10 of 20 | Posted by HokieJM
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Posted on February 7, 2007 8:51 AM
Aww, you guys don't like Todd Oldham? He seems like such a nice guy!
11 of 20 | Posted by Rock Star
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Posted on February 7, 2007 8:53 AM
well, i for one, am happy for this show b/c it will only mean more Flipit!! the recap was so enjoyable, much more entertaining than the show. Luv the Wiggum & Storm monikors, loved how you ripped the mean Butch a new one---i think we should nickname the Skateboarder dude, 'Squiggy', as he reminds me of the dude from Laverne & Shirley. I think this show will be a little like Project Runway, in that only the truly wacky designs will be lauded over --- the stuff you & i would pick will not be what wins. I would never pick the Kitty Litter room for my house (THAT was $50K??!! didn't even spring for paint!!)
Loved the comment abt Todd O. being like a Mr Rogers on crack! and #s) 4 & 6 -- your comments were so sweet! Flipit, can u feel the luv?! your fans heart u back!
12 of 20 | Posted by Tati
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Posted on February 7, 2007 9:04 AM
Flipit, you are Snarktastic! Second, the minute Todd O. started to speak I screamed "PADMA!!!" in horror at the TV and my sis was like "No, that's just his gay lisp". By the way, isn't Margaret so Miranda Priestly? I was expecting "That's all" any minute while she was critiquing...
13 of 20 | Posted by Justine
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Posted on February 7, 2007 12:11 PM
Flipit I totally agree with you about Buddha rape, it must be stopped. Lol
14 of 20 | Posted by angiemarie
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Posted on February 7, 2007 12:12 PM
Everyone looks so much younger than their age. Goil is so cute, I'll be rooting for him!
15 of 20 | Posted by couchpotato
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Posted on February 7, 2007 12:45 PM
I love you Flipit! I'm usually just a lurker on here, but I wanted to tell you that I lurved your stories at the beginning of your recaps. Don't give them up! I'm sure there are many life lessons to be learned through Top Design.
16 of 20 | Posted by mandarine688
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Posted on February 7, 2007 1:43 PM
Flipit you are fab, I was so excited to see a Top Design recap posted! I agree with everyone else in that I'm very glad you're back with more post-Top Chef recaps
I think you should seriously consider taking over My Super Sweet Sixteen recaps, I think your family flashbacks would bode well at the beginning of 16-year-old birthday parties...
seriously do it!
17 of 20 | Posted by cherin
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Posted on February 7, 2007 2:24 PM
I know that this is gay-friendly BRAVO, but couldn't they do better than Alexis Arquette? What's next, a confetti-strewn room for Rip Taylor?
18 of 20 | Posted by Foxbase Alpha
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Posted on February 7, 2007 4:25 PM
love the recap flipit!
are the pictures oddly stretched out in all flipit recaps for anyone else? not a big deal, but everyone looks extra wide.
19 of 20 | Posted by yaytv
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Posted on February 7, 2007 6:11 PM
when Alexis was "Alex" Arquette he was the Boy George singer in The Wedding Singer. I liked him better as a he, but I agree SHE should definitely hit up her sis-in-law for a job on Dirt.
I didn't like any of their rooms. They just didn't look comfortable, and what about ones with no TV's? 50K and no big-screen? Ridiculous!
great job Flipit! :)
20 of 20 | Posted by zoobabe
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Posted on February 8, 2007 4:57 AM