Calvin wasn't only gorgeous on the outside, he was the sweetest human being I had ever met. I don't usually trust nice people. They're either feeling guilty about something and trying to hide it with thank you cards and kind nods to old people in the street or they're crazy and they want someone to sit there and listen to them ramble on. Calvin donated his time to actual. Charities. He was an enigma. I waited through seven dates filled with stories of helping out crack babies in South Central and global warming before I went for the full on pass at him.
10:32 We make out. Fireworks. 10:37 He falls asleep with a huge smile on his face and I hightail it out of there with a doggie bag of the dinner he made. Great cook. I felt awful listening to him cry on my voicemail all the next week. Too bad he didn't spend less time being so sweet to everyone and more time learning to rumble with the big boys. He could have been the one.
This week, Top Design taught us luxury is painful, don't get cocky til' you rocky, and nice guys finish fast.
Only three weeks left, and the four remaining Designers are ancy. Gay Dad tells Goil that he's feeling like doing something crazy this week! Well you already married some poor woman and made a confused baby. I think you should calm down on the crazy. Andrea is flat out drunk with pride. She's tired, but that makes her want to fight harder. She says she's competitive, but no one sees that side of her. Oh, we see it. Your ambition glares brighter than your scalp. Goil has wiped the mascara tears off his face and bucked up. He is grateful he was given another chance after being in the bottom three last week and is determined to do better. And not get crushed by things.
Never gets old.
The Designers meet the puppet at the Viceroy Hotel first thing in the morning, and Gay Dad freaks out. He cut pictures of the hotel's interior out of a magazine and put them up in his room next to pictures of the Rock and Justin Timberlake, so he's thrilled that he actually gets to see the lobby in person. The hotel was designed by Kelly Wearstler, and it's hot. I give her a free pass to dress like a complete asshole for the rest of the season. Like she's waiting for a pass from me.
Today's Guest Judge is Linda O'Keefe, the design and architecture director of Metropolitan Home Magazine. YIKES. I can't help but wonder what she would look like if plastic surgery had never invented.
Today's Challenge is to design a high-end hotel suite. Felicia must be kicking herself and scrunching up her uneven brows right now. Tilt. Goil has never designed a hotel room, but he says he's been in a few of them. I'll bet you have, you little tiger. Each Designer chooses a card with one of the Elements listed on it. Andrea picks Earth, and she's not happy. "Earth isn't a word I really even respond to." Oooh, goody. Andrea's stressed and tired. Will today be the day she comes out of the closet as a Design Uber-Bitch? I pray long and hard. Come on, Reality God. Feed the people. Oh yeah and world peace and blah blah blah.
Goil threatens to go with a disco theme when he chooses Fire, but then he laughed his maniacal giggle. He was just kidding! Silly little Goil. Carisa gets Air and Gay Dad is psyched to pick Water. He's a Scorpio and feels like it was meant to be. Gay Dad is in an extraordinarily good mood today. Is he finally putting the hot carpenter to use?
Andrea and Goil are worried. Andrea goes over every different shade of brown ever invented and tries to not throw up while Goil tries to grasp Fire. When they start talking in the workroom, the Designers realize that they have all designed pretty much the exact same layout, down to the lamps. Gay Dad refuses to change, so the other three start re-sketching. Goil starts whining. He has to do Fire and he has to re-sketch? No fair! Wipe your nose, Mary. Gay Dad has decided to stop pretending that he's a decent person and divas out, telling us that everyone here has their own individual style, but his happens to be the best. AARRGGGHHH. Hating. Him. Please let Gay Dad bone it today! PLEASE!
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Comments (14)
Sorry for the late ass recap! Real life got in the way. LOVE
1 of 14 | Posted by Flipit![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on April 2, 2007 6:44 PM
Flipit, you're my favorite recapper, bar none. We scream things like "Oh Gay Dad!" and "Why Taylor Hicks??" at the TV, and it's all because of you!
2 of 14 | Posted by Justine![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on April 2, 2007 7:47 PM
"High end bead shopping." HILARIOUS!!!
3 of 14 | Posted by Jenny | Posted on April 2, 2007 7:51 PM
Flipit, I have only recently discovered you, and I have been checking every day for this recap. You are hilarious and I look forward to spending many more giddy hours reading your take on things.
Thanks!
4 of 14 | Posted by simper1![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on April 2, 2007 8:43 PM
well, well, well, he surfaces.... thanks for the recap and yeah,.... the end is going to need a bit of the juice to get through... as per Bravo's last few jerkwad winners i am possitive it will be Carissa..... hate her.
and Goil... he can come work at the place i get pedicures.... i'm sure it is more up his alley.
5 of 14 | Posted by giffordsaz | Posted on April 2, 2007 10:52 PM
Gay Dad's room did not read water AT ALL. What was watery about it? Like 3 mirrors? PFFFFFFTTTT! What a cocky cocksucker. If I remember correctly, all the judges would comment on how the element worked into the other designers rooms, but when it came to Gay Dad's, I don't think one of them mentioned water. What's up with that, hmm?
Ugh, stupid show.
Still got mad love for you, though, Flipit. But how dare you have a real life? There's TV to be watched!
6 of 14 | Posted by brendahamLincoln | Posted on April 2, 2007 11:19 PM
You are excused for having a life. Too bad it didn't last very long. Anyhoo, what was up with the strip of grass for the dogs? So, then the maid has to pick up dog pooh, too?
Love you
7 of 14 | Posted by may1 | Posted on April 3, 2007 6:59 AM
Flipit's recaps finally convinced me to watch this thing. The recaps are better. I spent the entire episode trying to figure out if gay dad was going commando.
8 of 14 | Posted by OzoneDude | Posted on April 3, 2007 8:55 AM
Hey Flipit! Your recaps MAKE this show! I only watch to better appreciate the brilliance of your observations.
You are making me believe in TVgasm again. I fell away for a while because all the founders fled. TY for bringing snarky back to TVGasm!
9 of 14 | Posted by subgenre![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on April 3, 2007 10:22 AM
hey guys thanks for the giggles. i am proud that a butchly named guy like ozonedude would watch top design!! LOL and sorry, od. and i think you are right that he was going commando. i have a butt crack shot here somewhere...
10 of 14 | Posted by Flipit![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on April 3, 2007 11:50 AM
Great recap FlipIt! I have been using "Gay Dad" in conversations about the show with others for weeks. Thanks for that! I love the hooker-Wearstler reference this week. And, she should have gone all the way and broke one of her heels.
11 of 14 | Posted by HokieJM![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on April 3, 2007 1:45 PM
It's so sad Goil got booted out this week. He's the most fun and sincere contestant on there. I was really surprised a few weeks ago when I went to class I saw him teaching a bunch of kids in the hallway of my school! Turns out he's a teaching there and I get a glimpse of him every Tuesdays!
12 of 14 | Posted by Mich | Posted on April 3, 2007 3:02 PM
Flipit, you have to tell us what you'll be recapping(besides American Idol--ugh!) after Top Design ends. I need something to look forward to!
13 of 14 | Posted by velouria | Posted on April 3, 2007 3:24 PM
I've got to tell you, I'm obsessed with Flipit. Obsessed. I've been unimpressed with Top Design, but I always look forward to the recaps. Like Top Chef 2, I honestly have no emotional investment in the finalists. I just watch for Jonathan Adler's fantastic ties and Kelly's Edwardian monstrosities :)
14 of 14 | Posted by watermelon | Posted on April 3, 2007 3:30 PM