The first thing BatKelly wants to know is "Did you run out of time?" Ouch! That's never a good lead-in... but truly, the fabric is loose and bunched on the top, it looks like total crap. Andrea says it wasn't an issue of time, she's just not an upholsterer, so the issue was her craftsmanship. Wow, I have to give her a little respect for that... most people would have taken the easy way out and blamed the time-constraints, but she was actually honest and admitted she just didn't have the skills needed. Maybe Andrea should stay depressed, it brings out the human in her...
Holy fuck. This is what Twiggy Teresa did...
...dear...God!...
Teresa says she loves the simplicity of it, and that it's modern but "not boring". I would also say it's "not pretty" either. What is it with these people and the purple palate today? It looks like the Green Giant sneezed all over it and then rubbed the mucous into the fabric. This is what constitutes "bling-bling" in her hometown of Vegas? It's like visual Syrup of Ipecac... BatKelly and India say thanks and stagger away before they lose their lunch...
...except SexOndineCity's chair isn't much help, either...
...dear...God! (Book Two)...
Ondine says it was a "bit of a risk" with the color and how "poopy" it is. OH, excuse me... Freudian typo... how "poppy" it is... She brings up how it was inspired by Betsey Johnson... and in case you're not familiar with Betsey Wetsey...
...I guess the chair makes sense now...
BatKelly says she likes it! I want to thwop her in the head with a whiffle bat! In what Universe would this chair not clash with everything on the planet? Barf-o-rama.
Oh well, last up is Black Eye Nathan...
...his chair is sponsored by 3M™...
Here's another case where I think the result is kind of intriguing, and rather bold, especially with the gold lamé packing tape strips (I imagine that the UPS Store in West Hollywood stocks that stuff). Nathan says it's like "fashion and art colliding as one" and Kelly agrees as she thinks it's "an important piece of furniture." I agree. Otherwise you'd be sitting on the floor.
The results? Under the category of "less successful" was Nasal Natalie's work. India says they felt like she should have "restained" herself more. I agree, where is the straitjacket when you need it? Kelly further opines that it looks like "a remnant from a Vegas hotel 15 years ago." Tsssss! Burn! Of course, she looks mortified, and it doesn't help that the Greek Chorus of Nathan, Eddie and Preston is silently weighing in as well...
...Mean Girlsss...
Also being crucified for Design Sins today is Twiggy Teresa, whose chair India flat-out says "just didn't work." Kelly says all Teresa did was a plain "upholstery job" and that she didn't augment it with any of the other creative crafts they had at their disposal. No bling-bling here.
On the other end of the spectrum, they loved Nathan's "one of a kind" chair, as well as Eddie's "bold statement" (I disagree, but mostly because Eddie's just such a nasty beyotch, and I can't get beyond his snobbish assholery) and most surprisingly, they give kudos to Ondine! WTF?!? Kelly says Ondine's chair has an "iconic feel", while I would have described it more as a "bubonic feel".
And the winner of the first leg of the "Design Tri-ack-thlon" is... Black Eye Nathan! Yay for Nathan! I'm sure everyone feels the same way...
...Haterade cocktails, anyone?...
Now Nathan is immune from being eliminated so he can suck as much as he wants to for the other two legs, but Nate says he doesn't want to do that, he wants to win the whole thing! Go on, girl! Maybe if you win you'll finally get some Preparation H for those eye-bags of yours...
Time for the second leg of the "Design Trisuckthlon"... here's India with Jonathan Adler (who they list as an "Iconic Potter") and this time around they have to "design" a dinner table. Oooh, that's something my mom has been making me do since I was old enough to hold the silverware without dropping it all over the floor! Except these dishes are not likely to be mis-matched Corell paired with Flintstones juice glasses... they'll have 30 minutes and $500 to spend in the Top Design Showroom, and then 2 hours to "work that magic" as India puts it...
Twiggy Teresa says she needs to "save face" off of her bombing on the first leg of the challenge. "It'd probably be a reeeeally good idea for me to win immunity!" Yeah, and it'd be an even better idea to design something that wasn't so nausea-inspiring...
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Comments (11)
Great recap J-mo!!!! ((**Samara and J-Mo do the happy dance**)) Good to know Samara can dance and not just creep on Twiggy!
Funny how the colors look so different on the caps then they do on my TV, but of course I'm a lazy ass and haven't upgraded my TV in like centuries!!! Nasal's room looked better here, it looked green on my TV--do do do do . . .
My coworker busted a nut on your Kelly formula!!!!
Well, last week I was wondering what Twiggy had up her sleeve, guess we know now, zzzzzen!
So, is it me, even her goodbye sounded like, thanks to the producers who thought I could add something to the show (despite the fact that I've never designed a thing before) shrug-shrug!
I smell foul forces at work, but it was kind of great to see Beige Spoons in the bottom . . .
1 of 11 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 6, 2008 1:46 PM
Darling J-Mo,
Is there something wrong with me? I totally want to adopt Whatisit as another lap dog. You know take him for walks, send him to the groomer and keep him around to amuse me. But that nasty tendency to break out into opera would have to go.
Have I mentioned that you are so my hero for turning out awesome funny recaps for two different shows a week.
Lerv,
Yenta
2 of 11 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on October 7, 2008 3:39 AM
I still can't believe I'm watching this horribly bad show. It's all your fault, J-mo, you and your excellent recaps.
Interesting that the show has a pretty big budget, compared to Project Runway -- imagine giving Pleatha or Blayne ten grand to spend on one of their 'designs'...
3 of 11 | Posted by itchy | Posted on October 7, 2008 8:50 AM
I loved all of your fancy photoshop work. Great recap!
4 of 11 | Posted by tvkitty | Posted on October 7, 2008 10:35 AM
J-Mo, you really can't help yourself with the Eddie flesh, can you? Oh dear, Preston is so much prettier, and so much more determined to play nice.
How can any of the other designers not have caught on to the identity of Andrea's husband yet? I mean, Ondine recognized the back of Ricky's head right off the bat and Andrea's company's name is Schroder Development, right? And she uses Schroder as her last name, right? Or do you think she's taken this whole incognito stuff as far as to adopt a different last name with the other designers/judges? Is that even possible to keep her married identity from the judges since the producers CLEARLY know about Ricky (at least if they've watched any footage at all of the show)? People, I need answers!
5 of 11 | Posted by tvismyfriend | Posted on October 7, 2008 7:15 PM
I think they're like me, that is, "Ricky who?"
I mean, I seem to recall vaguely that he did something way back when, he was in my sister's Tiger Beat mags, I'm pretty sure.
Anyway, I think Andrea scooted out of the room because she knew Eddie and Blackeye were about to get...um...busy.
6 of 11 | Posted by itchy | Posted on October 8, 2008 12:52 AM
Ha, itchy! I guess my age is showing. I spent many a pre-teen evening watching Silver Spoons (of course I'm always partial to the sidekicks rather than the main characters, so it was Jason Bateman, not Ricky, that did it for me).
And Nathan's really getting around, huh?
7 of 11 | Posted by tvismyfriend | Posted on October 8, 2008 6:41 AM
Great recap, J-Mo! I just started watching this show and I love your snarkiness.
I dont know about anyone else, but the first thing I thought about when I saw Eddie BaueRoss's design was, "Is that his granny's funeral?"
8 of 11 | Posted by lexxi1129 | Posted on October 8, 2008 8:57 AM
I have to admit that I love Wizzit. I want to sit next to him and pet his hair every time I see him on the screen! To quote Jon-Jon... he is j'adorable!
9 of 11 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on October 9, 2008 4:04 AM
J-Mo;
Terrific recap! I always catch so much more by reading your take on it than I see while watching the show "live".
Of friggin' course everything Eddie BewbRoss does is "granny", he works for the Head Granny herself. After 5 days with that broad any designer would think that "granny" is chic!
Keep up the good work, and here's hoping for more pictures of PrettyBoy Preston without his shirt.
Yum-Oh!!
Lots O' Love
10 of 11 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on October 10, 2008 7:09 PM
juddfan... you know my process for getting screenshots is REALLY convoluted. I do not have a DVR (*gasp*) so I record the show onto DVD, then watch it on the computer on PowerDVD shrunk down as far as it will go, then take a printscreen and paste it into Paint, then I have to shrink it down even further with some other MicroSoft PictureViewer program and then I can upload it. SO, it is quite possible that the coloring could see some adjustments that may not meet your TV's reality during that process. Also, I agree with you, Teresa's farewell sounded suspiciously like a "Thank you producers for picking me" kind of thing. Very strange. Love to you! Me and Samara are learning a hip-hop routine right now... watch for video later!
yentapatrol... honey you are so normal for wanting a Whatisit of your own, I think they're going to be this year's Furby... you pet him and he will giggle and sing weird opera... I appreciate the love, but I am glad one of my shows is ending, two per week is killing me... love to you!
itchy... you are so sweet to me, I am very appreciative... and as far as the budget on this show goes, I agree with you... BUT, I also wonder if they keep all the receipts and when the challenge is over they wind up taking back a lot of that merch to the various stores where they got it from and get money back... plus I bet they've got a deal worked out for the advertising of these various stores (like Cost Plus and Pier One, etc.)... love to you...
tvkitty... honey, you are too kind... I only WISH I actually HAD Photoshop on this computer, I am actually pretty good at using it to make realistic compositions... I have actually been using the bare-bones "Paint" program to do cutting and pasting and inserting text and all that stuff, and it's kind of like trying to paint the Mona Lisa using a box of 8 crayons... but your compliments are like refreshing water to my parched soul, LOL... love to you...
tvismyfriend... ok, you busted me. There is something about Eddie that makes me want to break into his house some night and throw an angry fuck into him at 3am... maybe because he's such a little bitch, but I think he's probably a freak in bed. As far as Miss Schroder goes, I am not clear about whether or not the others know about her star-talent hubby... you'd think she'd be mobbed from morning till night with people asking what it's like to be married to a former child star... love to you!...
itchy... that's a vile image (i.e. Eddie and Nathan)... I love you for it!...
lexxi1129... thank you sweetie! I love your commentiness!
Snootchy Bootches... love your screenname... welcome to the circle of Whatisit lovin'... love to you, too!
arizonatom... the only reason I pick up on the minutiae of this show is because I not only watch it in real-time, but I also go back and watch segments over and over to get dialogue and expressions... I'm so glad you're loving the extra info, I try to go that extra mile. And I agree, Eddie is retirement-home ready at age 30 (or however old he is). I will try to comply with more Preston pics (provided he's caught with his shirt off again). Love to you!
As always, thank you guys for your kind comments! They make my damn day!
love, J-Mo :)
11 of 11 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on October 12, 2008 2:14 AM