Nathan pretty much just stacked the dishes and covered them in fruit. The table itself has a rather rough finish to it, and he says he envisions it being "a late brunch" at a "seaside cottage"... Jonathan thinks it's creative that Nathan didn't do a conventional table-setting (I would have called it lazy, but whatever) and India says it appeals to her, too.
Moving right along to the prettier side of the room, here's Prettyboy Preston's work...
...not for the pollen-shy is Preston's place...
Prettyboy says he was imagining a family sit-down dinner. Both Jonathan and India point out that the flowers are hugely overwhelming, and it makes me wonder if Preston has ever actually sat down to dinner with his family, cuz you'd think he'd know a great big vase of flowers in the middle of the table prevents you from being able to send silent dagger-eyes at your mother for ruining your life...
And here we have the lovely and demure Whatisit...
...at least mom and dad can glower at each other over his table...
His bright description of his table-design is "I-like-to-cook-some-food-and-en-ter-tain-ev-e-ry-one-with-an-o-pe-ra-tic-song!" Jonathan and India beg Whatisit to favor them with some of his opera singing, and reluctantly he agrees. He gets about two seconds of caterwauling out and India suddenly grabs ahold of one of the glass bowls on his table (like it's going to shatter). Ha ha, India, stick to your design work...
...comedy gold...
All the designers clap for Whatisit, and India tells him "That was just wonderful!" and they pretty much just ignored his tablescape. Hmmm...
Last in line is SexOndineCity...
...it's very... organic?...
Ondine calls it her "southern garden tea party" and name-drops another designer (Lilly Pulitzer) as a source of stuff to copy inspiration, and finishes that the table is for "casual afternoon brunch". Just like every single other table in there is for "brunch". Nobody in DesignWorld apparently ever has "2am weed munchies"...
Anyhow, Jon-Jon tells Ondine straight-up that he does not see her in this table setting at all. Astoundingly, she agrees with him, and says the table is not reflecting her taste, either. What?!? Then why did you do it, stupid? Ondine makes no sense to me at all, and she looks a tad puzzled by herself, too...
...*sigh*...I think she misses Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte & Miranda...
And at the judging, SexOndineCity is the first to be called out as one of the suckier designers. India says there was "no emotional connection" with the table setting. I didn't know that was possible with a tablescape, but then again, Sandra Lee over on Food Network is always having multiple orgasms over the cutesy shit that winds up on her tables, so I guess it is.
The other crapfest belonged to Prettyboy Preston (not again!) as India tells him of how she "struggled with the practicalities of it" and that it looked more like a flower shop than a setting for a table. Jonathan says he doesn't see Preston in that setting, either (although I bet Jonathan would like to see Preston naked and behind a spot-lit pottery-wheel so they could re-enact the Patrick Swayze-Demi Moore love scene from Ghost)...
...Ditto!...
On the plus side, they loved Eddie BaueRoss' table (India called it "so chic" which makes me want to ralph up everything I've ever eaten and hurl it at her)... and Black Eye Nathan's curiously de-constructed table setting.... and the winner of the second leg is... Nathan! Oooh, two for two, and somebody didn't much like being the bridesmaid the second time around, either...
...close but no cigar, Edster!...
Bwahahahahahaha! Talk about double-damned! I find that I like Eddie riiiiiiight here, in the second spot, because I bet that makes him angrier than flat-out losing does. Nathan has double immunity now, but he says "I kinda feel like shit that I won the first and second, and I feel like all of the other contestants want to pour Visine in my coffee... I'm sure I'm gonna be poisoned!" Judging by the look on Eddie's face above, he's not really joking around. Watch your back, Natey-boy!
And with that, India dismisses everyone to rest up for the next day's final leg of the Design Tritardathlon...
The next morning they are greeted by India, and, of course, Margaret Russell, and the final leg of the Design Tricrapathlon challenge requires them to design a "room" that is inspired by nature and that "tells a story". Please, could we have a few more storytelling haircuts, dresses, entreés and fake rooms? The winner of this leg gets their room photographed to be in Elle Decor magazine! Swoons from all around...
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Comments (11)
Great recap J-mo!!!! ((**Samara and J-Mo do the happy dance**)) Good to know Samara can dance and not just creep on Twiggy!
Funny how the colors look so different on the caps then they do on my TV, but of course I'm a lazy ass and haven't upgraded my TV in like centuries!!! Nasal's room looked better here, it looked green on my TV--do do do do . . .
My coworker busted a nut on your Kelly formula!!!!
Well, last week I was wondering what Twiggy had up her sleeve, guess we know now, zzzzzen!
So, is it me, even her goodbye sounded like, thanks to the producers who thought I could add something to the show (despite the fact that I've never designed a thing before) shrug-shrug!
I smell foul forces at work, but it was kind of great to see Beige Spoons in the bottom . . .
1 of 11 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 6, 2008 1:46 PM
Darling J-Mo,
Is there something wrong with me? I totally want to adopt Whatisit as another lap dog. You know take him for walks, send him to the groomer and keep him around to amuse me. But that nasty tendency to break out into opera would have to go.
Have I mentioned that you are so my hero for turning out awesome funny recaps for two different shows a week.
Lerv,
Yenta
2 of 11 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on October 7, 2008 3:39 AM
I still can't believe I'm watching this horribly bad show. It's all your fault, J-mo, you and your excellent recaps.
Interesting that the show has a pretty big budget, compared to Project Runway -- imagine giving Pleatha or Blayne ten grand to spend on one of their 'designs'...
3 of 11 | Posted by itchy | Posted on October 7, 2008 8:50 AM
I loved all of your fancy photoshop work. Great recap!
4 of 11 | Posted by tvkitty | Posted on October 7, 2008 10:35 AM
J-Mo, you really can't help yourself with the Eddie flesh, can you? Oh dear, Preston is so much prettier, and so much more determined to play nice.
How can any of the other designers not have caught on to the identity of Andrea's husband yet? I mean, Ondine recognized the back of Ricky's head right off the bat and Andrea's company's name is Schroder Development, right? And she uses Schroder as her last name, right? Or do you think she's taken this whole incognito stuff as far as to adopt a different last name with the other designers/judges? Is that even possible to keep her married identity from the judges since the producers CLEARLY know about Ricky (at least if they've watched any footage at all of the show)? People, I need answers!
5 of 11 | Posted by tvismyfriend | Posted on October 7, 2008 7:15 PM
I think they're like me, that is, "Ricky who?"
I mean, I seem to recall vaguely that he did something way back when, he was in my sister's Tiger Beat mags, I'm pretty sure.
Anyway, I think Andrea scooted out of the room because she knew Eddie and Blackeye were about to get...um...busy.
6 of 11 | Posted by itchy | Posted on October 8, 2008 12:52 AM
Ha, itchy! I guess my age is showing. I spent many a pre-teen evening watching Silver Spoons (of course I'm always partial to the sidekicks rather than the main characters, so it was Jason Bateman, not Ricky, that did it for me).
And Nathan's really getting around, huh?
7 of 11 | Posted by tvismyfriend | Posted on October 8, 2008 6:41 AM
Great recap, J-Mo! I just started watching this show and I love your snarkiness.
I dont know about anyone else, but the first thing I thought about when I saw Eddie BaueRoss's design was, "Is that his granny's funeral?"
8 of 11 | Posted by lexxi1129 | Posted on October 8, 2008 8:57 AM
I have to admit that I love Wizzit. I want to sit next to him and pet his hair every time I see him on the screen! To quote Jon-Jon... he is j'adorable!
9 of 11 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on October 9, 2008 4:04 AM
J-Mo;
Terrific recap! I always catch so much more by reading your take on it than I see while watching the show "live".
Of friggin' course everything Eddie BewbRoss does is "granny", he works for the Head Granny herself. After 5 days with that broad any designer would think that "granny" is chic!
Keep up the good work, and here's hoping for more pictures of PrettyBoy Preston without his shirt.
Yum-Oh!!
Lots O' Love
10 of 11 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on October 10, 2008 7:09 PM
juddfan... you know my process for getting screenshots is REALLY convoluted. I do not have a DVR (*gasp*) so I record the show onto DVD, then watch it on the computer on PowerDVD shrunk down as far as it will go, then take a printscreen and paste it into Paint, then I have to shrink it down even further with some other MicroSoft PictureViewer program and then I can upload it. SO, it is quite possible that the coloring could see some adjustments that may not meet your TV's reality during that process. Also, I agree with you, Teresa's farewell sounded suspiciously like a "Thank you producers for picking me" kind of thing. Very strange. Love to you! Me and Samara are learning a hip-hop routine right now... watch for video later!
yentapatrol... honey you are so normal for wanting a Whatisit of your own, I think they're going to be this year's Furby... you pet him and he will giggle and sing weird opera... I appreciate the love, but I am glad one of my shows is ending, two per week is killing me... love to you!
itchy... you are so sweet to me, I am very appreciative... and as far as the budget on this show goes, I agree with you... BUT, I also wonder if they keep all the receipts and when the challenge is over they wind up taking back a lot of that merch to the various stores where they got it from and get money back... plus I bet they've got a deal worked out for the advertising of these various stores (like Cost Plus and Pier One, etc.)... love to you...
tvkitty... honey, you are too kind... I only WISH I actually HAD Photoshop on this computer, I am actually pretty good at using it to make realistic compositions... I have actually been using the bare-bones "Paint" program to do cutting and pasting and inserting text and all that stuff, and it's kind of like trying to paint the Mona Lisa using a box of 8 crayons... but your compliments are like refreshing water to my parched soul, LOL... love to you...
tvismyfriend... ok, you busted me. There is something about Eddie that makes me want to break into his house some night and throw an angry fuck into him at 3am... maybe because he's such a little bitch, but I think he's probably a freak in bed. As far as Miss Schroder goes, I am not clear about whether or not the others know about her star-talent hubby... you'd think she'd be mobbed from morning till night with people asking what it's like to be married to a former child star... love to you!...
itchy... that's a vile image (i.e. Eddie and Nathan)... I love you for it!...
lexxi1129... thank you sweetie! I love your commentiness!
Snootchy Bootches... love your screenname... welcome to the circle of Whatisit lovin'... love to you, too!
arizonatom... the only reason I pick up on the minutiae of this show is because I not only watch it in real-time, but I also go back and watch segments over and over to get dialogue and expressions... I'm so glad you're loving the extra info, I try to go that extra mile. And I agree, Eddie is retirement-home ready at age 30 (or however old he is). I will try to comply with more Preston pics (provided he's caught with his shirt off again). Love to you!
As always, thank you guys for your kind comments! They make my damn day!
love, J-Mo :)
11 of 11 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on October 12, 2008 2:14 AM