Great recap J-Mo, keep them coming.
Am I the only one who thinks in that picture at the bottom of page 8, Eddie looks like someone just found his pot o' gold?

My Darling J-Mo,

You are such a riot. If I didn't get to read your skewering of Eddie once a week, I wouldn't be able to watch the show. Bravo should pay you : )

As the mom of a teenager, with live in attendant friends, I can say that I would donate a kidney for a few weeks away with a bunch of bitchy gay men. Of course, Preston would have to be my new BFF so we could gang up on the evil stepsisters.
Hugs,
Yenta

This has to have been the best episode this season and you recapped it perfectly J-Mo!! I love Eddie. His and Nathan's cattyness is priceless. Preston just takes it all in stride.

The only light fixture I liked was the "ice branch" & it certainly didn't fit in Nathan's room. Andrea's 'green tower' would have been better suited, but what do I know, I have a 'leg lamp' with a fishnet stocking, black stiletto boot & a leopard print lampshade in my livingroom.

I could NOT believe Eddie called Jonathon an elf.
What the hell?! It's your judge, dumbass.
I wonder if Martha has watched any of these episodes and if now Eddie has to report to her for weekly smacks to the back of the head.

Also, I didn't get Nathan's room at all. Didn't see bratty, didn't see rich,...didn't see the chandelier.

Phenomenal recap as usual. Thanks for the snark!

Hey nice work!
I gotta just say how disappointed i am that nathan gets all bitchy cus he seems like BY FAR the only really good designer there! you can see in all his little mini challenges and everything that hes got more talent in his little finger than the rest of that carnival of hacks... but between the wooden horse and the painting stunt w/ Eddie I'm about to lose faith!
keep up the nice recaps they always crack me up, and im really gonna miss the whole andrea/ rick shroeder saga! maybe they can get their own reality tv show, where they can constantly make reference to the time they had to spend apart while andrea pursued her solo career!

Eddie has to be one of the most self absorbed
insecure people ever. And was he wearing capris and flip flops?
The real kicker to all this would be if the mega-style-uber-holy Martha hired Preston. I wanted to bitch slap Nathan for playing into the wicked step-sister game.
Great recap, thanks for all the laughs.

J-Mo, I laughed out loud by myself in my room several times whilst reading this. You have a gift of writing hilarious recaps; you should write a whole book of them :)

By the way, are Jon-Jon and Simon really married? Because that would be the cutest thing ever behind puppies dressed as ladybugs.

I still can't even figure out how Eddie got immunity. Nathan's pop quiz entry was better than Eddie's (and so was Preston's--he was unfairly dissed). The Martha worship was just too far OTT this week. Every bit of your hate is totally justified! You had some great screencaps to make the point. Please Nathan (and judges) set Eddie free next week; I'm sure Martha's plane would pick him up at a moment's notice--and hopefully accidentally drop him somewhere in middle America so he can solve all their decorating dilemmas.

If you are ever visiting the country of Douchepotamia, please do not forget to visit the capital city of Assholia where you can meet the Queen of the Douches, Eddie FunkyFingeRoss.

Favorite line: "I'm hoping it's a free shot at Eddie's knees with a hammer."

And who wouldn't wanna kneecap that one? Seriously, if I have to see his butt crack one more time!

I just can't wait to see Jeff Lewis read him for his hideous wardrobe (and inconsistent design) choices next week!

Favorite line: "I'm hoping it's a free shot at Eddie's knees with a hammer."

And who wouldn't wanna kneecap that one? Seriously, if I have to see his butt crack one more time!

I just can't wait to see Jeff Lewis read him for his hideous wardrobe (and inconsistent design) choices next week!

You kill me, J-Mo. Yet another hilarious recap AND a total understanding of how some of us moms can feel some days? Love ya, baby.

Eddie's room was one of the ugliest in the competition so far, and that's saying something. Yup, he's a douche. And SHITASSFUCKSTAINS just became my favorite interjection ever.

PBP for the win.

"who do dressmaking complain all the time about how long it takes them to get their orders for Swarovski crystals filled, because everybody wants them"

Because everybody think they wants them. Swarovski crystals remind me of those commericals where they sold this little machine to put crystal studs on clothes and called it fabulous.

It's glass that is infused with lead. More then a quarter of it is infused with lead. I wonder when it will come time to ban the use of lead in glass.

I laughed at the comment as to how the chandelier looked in Eddie's room because that is exactly how the chandeliers look to begin with. If someone put them in a thrift store and put it at a 100 dollar price tag nobody would call it gorgeous.

Eddie's a sniveling, obnoxious, insecure little turd. Sadly I don't think we'll get the meltdown we all deserve to see when he gets the boot. The bitch is so delusional that his ego won't allow him anything other than "The judges don't know what they're talking about" The real meltdown might come when Martha fires his sorry ass.

Nathan definitely lost a lot of cool points with the wall-painting incident. Eddie's a toxic influence! And his "bratty rich girl" room was a hot pile of mess, but I suppose somebody had to be 2nd place.

Finally Mrs. Schroeder gets the boot. What a royal pain in the ass.

Fab recap as always. I was thinking of you the entire time I was watching,...ooohh J-Mo's gonna have fun with this one. What you said, Eddie is... What is that, exactly? Be a raving snobby sphinctermouth buttwad shitdickface assmunch? No truer words were ever written.

I hope Martha gives him a big 'ol bitch slap then stomps his snooty little face with her riding boots.

Nathan's room didn't look much differnt from mine when I was a teenager in the '70's, only my junk was, well, junk, but it looked just like his. Except for the chandelier of course.

It made me sad that Nathan teamed up with shitdickface cuz I thought it was so cute when he said at the begining of the show "thats just a bunch of baloney sandwiches".

... hmm ... "If I had a hammer, I'd hammer on Ed-die" ... I am SO tired of "Jonartha Stewdler", his butt-crack and his high-water pants! And when a gay's gotta do what a gay's gotta do, where the hell does he get the idea that it has to be to fuck with someone else, or to put them down. When this gay's gotta do what a gay's gotta do, it's to treat others like I want to be treated. What an asshole. I've always heard (and thought) that Martha was a raving bitch, and Eddie seems ready to take over the reins. And who in Gay Hell ever decided to put a friggin' sofa at a dining table? That is just stupid, impractical and NUTS! Oh yeah, you know how he know "lots" of people that would like his room - all two of him and Martha - the two Grand Grannies!

And Nathan, yeah, just as he was growing on me as well, he pulls the shit on this week's show. I want to black his other eye for being such a prick when PrettyBoy Preston offered to help. Hey Preston - you can come over and help ME paint anytime (we might even get some painting done).

Preston should have moved his light to the corner and showcased it with the solid wall from both angles - I have to give him a FAIL on that, even though I am overjoyed that he won!! Yay for Gorgeous!

I loved the chandy that Andrea chose, but she sure blew it with that wallpaper. I think that was a fantastic light fixture and it figures that I'd like THE most expensive one. Anyhoo, when she was caterwauling about wanting to go home, I SO wanted Cher to step out, slap her in the face, and scream "snap out if it!", just like in Moonstruck. If I'd have been with you at the Abbey that night, maybe I'd have had enough Captain 'n Cokes to have done that. *giggle* That would have felt SO good.

I rally haven't been a fan on SexOndineCity's work up to this point, but given the personalities, I will be rooting for a finale between her and Preston. I think I'll puke if either EddieTootMyOwnHornRoss or NathanImSuchABitch win.

Great recap, as ever. Keep up the good work and I look forward to next week's recap.

Lots O' Love

PS: shantigal - I just gotta ask - did you keep your horse in your room too?

Yep Simon and Johnathan Addler got married.

tvgasm doesn't allow hyperlinks to be posted but if you do a google search for "Simon Doonan married" without the quote marks you should see several referances including a new york times one saying they got married in San Fransico. They were partners for 14 years.

To do a gay wedding you have to go to California (under attack at the moment) and two other states who could very well be attacked by fundies as well. However the countries of Spain, Canada, Norway, Belgium, Netherlands, South Africa do perform civil marriages or full marriages. Several have restrictions though.

Great recaps!! Since you LOVE Eddie so much, I thought you might enjoy visiting his website - www.eddieross.com. It's a riot. Just in case you need more reasons to hate this guy.

I will give you all a web site - www.bravotv.com
go to the Top Design blogs and read what Jonathan Adler says about Eddie AsshateRoss.

I loved your recap J-Mo, you are officially my #2.
Time has gotten so short for me I rarely get to read recaps anymore but I will make time for you honey.. keep up the great work and thank you for entertaining me.

xox

arizonatom: Didn't have a horse, but had a giant stuffed tiger that one of us kids has won at a school picnic. It was sitting it the corner, just like the horse was. I'm just sayin, my room was a mess.

I have nothing much to say about these clowns, except...anyone else here wish they could actually watch the show WITH J-mo? Wouldn't that be a hoot!

Unfortunately, I don't see Eddie getting a comeuppance from Martha, because I'm kinda getting that Mark from UGLY BETTY to Martha's Wilhemina Slater vibe in that whole dynamic. He's just emulating the fabulous b-tchiness because he thinks that the ultimate key to her success, and she can hardly fire him for following her lead.

Sammy64--love the reality show idea! Although I'd never watch it. ;)

J-Mo, thanks for another great recap! You know once Eddie gets kicked off, Nathan's gonna start kissing up to Preston because Nathan's just an affection whore.

Wow, what a flippin' commentgasm! I love it!

Waffleboy09... thanks, I will try... and yes, I used to kind of think of Eddie as a leprechaun... until I realized that was a huge insult to leprechauns... :)

yentapatrol... gosh, thank you, and please be sure to email Bravo at least 10,000 times to tell them I'd appreciate a little somethin'-somethin' for all the work I'm having to put in to talk shit about their programming, LOL! :)

chooch850... Ooooh, I love a perfect score! Thank you! And is your lamp French, by any chance (you know, coming in a box marked "RAGILE"?)... :)

silver... Word! I would never call Jonathan an "elf"... He's far too j'adorable for that (I would, however, call him "Curious George", so go figure)... oh, and thanks! :)

sammy64... Thank you! Nathan seems to be determined to sabotage his own image by being Über-Bitch... I do think he's talented, but bitchy is only fun on TV, not when you're trying to get a room redone, y'know? :)

skies... you have eagle eyes... I saw Eddie's weird pedal-pushers and huaraches combo and thought "How George Michael Wham! Rap 1984 of him!" Thank you! :)

pixiegal262... I'm so happy to make people laugh, whether interally or externally, you're super-sweet... as yeschef confirmed, Jon-Jon and Simon are married husbands now, and I think someone during the show (possibly Ondine) made reference to "Jonathan's husband"... it makes my heart swell... *snif* :)

bfish... chile, I so love people who tell me when my haterade is the justified flava! Thank you!

Snootchy Bootches... I just giggled Diet Dr. Pepper up my nose reading that! :)

Anonymous... I know, right? I'm totally primed for a Jeff Lewis beat-down, and I think it will hurt Eddie even more because he is so in love with Jeff (I saw it in his eyes during the Single Guy Apartment Makeover episode). OH, and I promise no more Eddie butt-crack screencaps... unless it's, like, really funny... :)

sayhuh... LOL, Are you surprised? I'm a total Momma's Boy! But, yes, I can totally empathize, and Andrea (according to her own blog) seems to travel so often, I find it hard to believe that she's as devoted of a mother as she claims to be. P.S. I'm glad you like S.A.F.S. so much, I spent about 15 minutes trying different combos before I hit on that one... LOL :)

yeschef... you're referring to the BeDazzler! I still want one, myself. And thanks for all the positive and helpful info on same-sex marriage! :)

VICI... you have no idea how much I am praying for Martha to perpetrate a combination ass-kicking-and-firing for Eddie being such a douche to everyone in TVworld. :)

shantigal... I wonder if we might have been friends with I was a little boy, because I swear one of the little girls I used to play with had a giant stuffed tiger in her bedroom... she got mad because every time I would come over I couldn't stop myself from tackling it and playing Humpy McTuffskins on it. Eventually I got sent home. :)

arizonatom... LOLZ at blacking Nathan's other eye! You, sir, are a ball of fire. Thank you for the kind words and the kudos! :)

melbow... Hey, thanks for the link. I actually went there, and discovered (much to my disappointment) that Eddie doesn't talk about the show much, instead he is so egocentric he believes that everyone wants to read about his house-hunting exploitzzzzzzzz. What an asshat! Thank you for the link, though! :)

giffordsaz... thanks for that heads-up, very enlightening, and THANK YOU for making time for me, that truly is an honor... :)

itchy... if you did watch the show with me, we would have a great time and you would never go home hungry...

Thanks guys, all your comments are so appreciated, and I'm glad you're getting a kick out of the drama...

love, J-Mo :)

tvismyfriend... whoopsie! We musta posted at the same time. Thank you for the kind compliments! :)

Okay, here's what Jonathan Adler had to say about this week's episode, it is VERY telling:

"Eddie and Preston: City of Contrasts
I'm always struck by how unpretentious and sweet truly talented people are. My divine husband Simon (wasn't he j'adorable this week?) is a case in point. So are our gorgeously talented chums Ruben and Isabel Toledo, or the divine Narciso Rodriguez, or the visionary Reed and Delphine Krakoff, and, of course, my pals on the show, Margaret Russell, Todd Oldham, Kelly Wearstler and India Hicks. All of the above are accomplished and could, I suppose, be snooty and unbearable. But, if you meet any of them at a fancy soiree or at the DMV or at your local LIQUOR STORE you'll find that they are all humble, sweet, and never shy away from of a bit of inappropriate hijinks. What do they all have in common? They are all SECURE about their TALENT.

Call me crazy, but I actually felt bad for Eddie Ross this week. Yes, he acted like a complete TOOL and was very very bratty and unkind, but the most striking thing revealed in this week's episode is how INSECURE our Eddie is. Eddie, you are a talented dude, with a great future, and you have nothing to be insecure about--lose the BRATITUDE, shed the PETULANCE. RELAX and SPARKLE!

But enough about Eddie's personality. About Eddie's design this week: Oy veh! That dining room was GRUESOME. Eddie said that it was designed for a young hip couple but it felt like an old lady's final resting place. Whatevs -- he had immunity, lucky him.

Less entertaining than Eddie, but also less jarring, is Preston, or Cleavage as we nicknamed him backstage. Preston is secure in his talent and just gets on with it without any whinging or posturing or snarkiness. The result: PURE GENIUS!!!! His work was magnificent. He saves his drama for his design. NeNe on The Real Housewives of Atlanta (the best show on TV right now) says that when she walks into a room "It's like BAM, POW, NeNe's here!" That's what Preston's designs are like. Every angle is Bam, Pow, Fierce, PERFECT! Props to Preston.

Nathan. His room was BONKERS. I loved it. So did my window dresser

husband. It was like a wacky Barneys display. Everything about it was wrong--the scale was weird, the furniture looked like it was thrown together randomly, the color scheme was garish, nothing went with anything, and the overall effect was MAGIC. Loved it!

Ondine. Kinda gnarly this week. I think one of her problems was that she had to work with all new merch and I get the feeling she's more of a vintage gal. She's at her best around merch with a bit of a patina. Oh well, it happens.

Andrea. Has she ever watched a reality show before? Of course the judges are going to be critical--that's what makes watchable television! And, didn't she realize she was going to be separated from her family for a few weeks? I felt horrible for her and her anguish was real, but I also felt bad for all the people who applied to be on the show and didn't get the opportunity that she tossed away.

Anyway, that's her choice, I get it, and it made for excellent TV. Tres dramatique! But, drama aside, I think

this show will prove to be a great thing for Andrea. She's much more than Mrs. Rick Shroder--she's a great designer. I'm glad she got to strut her stuff on national TV.

Watch next week for more drama from Eddie-Omarosa-Ross. It only gets more demented and hilarious!

- Jonathan Adler"

Ain't that a kick in the head?!?

love, J-Mo :)

I should have guessed you'd end up at the Abbey, the hub of all things mo in weho . . . wish I'd been out, I'm sure I'd have known you two by the snickers alone!!!!

Eddie has gone beyond, that he couldn't cop to using his immunity as some kind of Martha showpiece, in some way, and not keep trying to defend that tomb--so well described as a coffin!!! Isn't it cheating to take pieces from a designers line . . . I'm just sayin' . . . . but the desperate, awful nature that seems to be oozing out of him like a "funky" scent is so bad I can't tell whether to pity him, hate him or enjoy him as in bringing on the pathetic snark. the treatment of Preston was mean girls, and uncalled for, like anyone couldn't paint that horrid green in those taped off KH shapes.

I do think Ondine has more experience, and I kind of like her, but one, how old is she, really, and two, bleech--some fug's going on with that one's inner world--I never knew Sex and the City to be so grey. Anyhoo, big fail filling a room with a ton of little things to take away from the lonely family jewel sling-can't say I'd have known what to do, but these people can't divorce themselves from their design and just let the inspiration speak (Eddie's Martha-Granny obsession/Ondine's world travelog/Preston's hotel fetish-even back to Miss Apple Boxes need to use pieces from her culture of doctors and lawyers to decorate a display window-yes I forget her name and I'm glad!)

Anyway, the recaps always rock!!!!! thanks for taking time out of your pahtying to blog for us!!!! HEART!!

Great re-cap, as always, J-Mo!
Speaking of PBPreston, I happened to catch a few episodes of "Open Bar" on the Logo network's marathon of same the other day (originally aired around 2006, I think, about a recently out-of-the-closet guy opening a gay bar, iCandy, in WeHo) and our boy Preston can be spotted in several episodes...mostly as decorative background fodder, part of the main guy's new gay entourage or wahtever, but I found it interesting, just thought I'd mention it.

oh j-mo... you are seriously gifted. snarky, witty, fabulous!

yes, Eddie-Omarosa-Ross (LOL jon-jon) is unfucking believable....

j-mo your eddieisms had me ROLLING...
here are a few of my favs:

"pissy little fuckwad"
"demonic shitball"
"giant hairy dickball"
"snobby sphinctermouth buttwad shitdickface assmunch"

pure genius... heart.

Good golly, J-mo, you lived my worst nightmare!! One of your reality tv prey being in the very same vicinity as you. And with glass bottles available! I'm so happy you made it out alive.

Splendid recap as always!!

kisses,
McSteeny