Nasal Natalie: Maggie wades right in with "She's back to not being sophisticated!" JonJon agrees that Nat "doesn't have the taste level yet" because of her youth. Danny says he liked her recycling bins because they weren't just cubes, but her fabric-covered shelf-wall-art-memo-board thingies looked "sloppy" and "unfinished" and clocks that she kinda sorta lied about their being able to be functional as memo boards due to the hardness of the wood repelling your basic thumbtacks.
Eddie ThieveRoss: Margaret asks right away who had Eddie's room before, and Jonathan replies "Nathan". Then they all go on to get all orgasmic about what Eddie did with the carpet, by putting it on the wall, and how great that was... "He was the only one who really repurposed stuff found in the room!" gushes Jonathan, "and instead of just shoving two desks together, he put the top on them both, and it was just that extra detail that cranked it up, and he sort of nailed it on all levels!" Yeah, too bad those weren't really Eddie's original ideas...
They bring everybody out, and it looks like Eddie's wearing a pink miniskirt!...
...yeah, you really need beefier legs to carry off this look, Eds...
Tonight's top three are Black Eye Nathan, Prettyboy Preston... and Eddie PioneeRoss! Danny calls his using the carpet padding as both a memo-board and sound-dampening material "ingenous". Instead of giving true credit where credit is due, Eddie just says "Thank you!" and beams... totally missing this meaningful glance from Black Eye Nathan...
...I think someone's about to start looking for a new bestie...
And the winner of this challenge is... duh, Eddie TrailblazeRoss! He seems mildly excited by his victory as he interviews "It totally awesome to win. I just wanna, you know, show what I'm capable of!" Yup, you're sure capable of stealing other people's ideas and failing to properly acknowledge it. "Who knew I was green?" he finishes. Uh huh, like a jealous booger. Dickface. However, Nathan is pretty cool about it as he posits "Eddie wins, and that's super cool because that was my old office, so... it's kind of like I won, but... not."
Time for the loozahs... SexOndineCity and Silver Spoon Andrea have done enough to keep safe and are dismissed, and we're left with Nasal Natalie and Whatisit, both of whom look pretty unhappy.
Margaret calls Whatisit out on his assertion that by not being wasteful in his shopping he was somehow being "green". He tries to defend by saying that since he created something beautiful and timeless, they won't have to remodel the office ten years down the road. This pisses Danny off and he comes right back with "When you say things like 'timeless design', 'it's gonna last the ages'... to me that's a lot of greenwashing! Saying things like that really aren't changing anything in the long run..."
...ooh, Duelling Gaysians!...
Jonathan calls the design "bland" and Margaret apologetically tosses out the dreaded "one trick pony" phrase, and JonJon chides him for not having used some of Nat's bright and bold color choices! Ouch. Poor Whatisit!
Speaking of Nat, she's insisting that she really was trying to "think green". This prompts another verbal stabbing from Danny Seo, as he asks her to remind him what the material was that she made her "recycling bins" out of. "It's MDF!" she chirps. "Is MDF an eco-friendly material?" he inquires in a silky-smooth voice. Don't take the candy, Nat, he's setting you up! She stupidly continues "It's wood that has been chopped up and... reused for something else." Too late, as Danny pounces, "MDF gives off different V.O.C.'s, so that's not the greenest choice..." and goes on to say that it would have been a much better choice to use some of the wood from the wall-art-memo-board-thingies to make her recycle bins with, and would have been a much better "green" choice.
Maggie goes on to say that while Nat did a great job last week, this week not so much, and she's especially upset about the throw pillows Nat put on the window seat, as she thinks they don't say "office" as much as they say "condo". "I don't want my office to look like a condo!" she exclaims, "and you can't just design a room around a cat!" Okay, I added that last part, but it would have been the perfect capper, don'tcha think?
..."Yeah, you pretty much both suck mud."...
After deliberations, the designer going home tonight... Awwwwww, it's Whatisit!!! The Sad Guitar Of Sorrow is playing as he smiles and giggles (like we knew he would) and says "Thank-you-so-much-it's-been-a-lot-of-fun!" There are no hard feelings between him and Nat, and they walk out of the Red Room arm in arm...
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Comments (13)
Don't have time to read all right now, just the opening paras, but I gotta get this off my chest...
My god, that Eddie guy is without a doubt the MOST ANNOYING ASSHOLE EVER TO GRACE REALITY TELEVISION.
I mean, there have been some pretty obnoxiously aweful people on tv, but they usually had at least one redeeming feature, or at least made for good television.
But this guy? My god. And you know what I hate the most about him? His weird mouth/lip thing --it even looks like a sphincter the way it seems to pucker up all the time.
I say we all start a letter writing campaign to the Martha Stewart rag, get his ass canned. But then, they're probably already aware of his...eh....personality.
1 of 13 | Posted by itchy | Posted on October 15, 2008 1:57 AM
Nooooooo..... bring back my little Wizzit!!! How will I go on without him?!
PS. Eddie is a twat and I hope Nathan gets him without lube for stealing his glory.
2 of 13 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on October 15, 2008 4:28 AM
NOT Whatisit!!
OMG, now I'm really depressed. Sigh!
J-Mo, it's time for you to call in some connections and arrange for Eddie to fall out a window so Whatisit can be brought back.
As always, awesome recap,
Love ya,
Yenta
3 of 13 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on October 15, 2008 6:19 AM
Thanks for giving me some giggles in the early morning, J-Mo! I liked Wisit but his room was really boring. Nasal Nat will probably be next to go. I actually kind of thought that the fabric colored boards were an interesting idea but it ended up looking like a dorm room. Go Nathan!
4 of 13 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on October 15, 2008 6:53 AM
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I am in a Wisitless funk. I watched the end of this show on my couch, curled in a ball, muttering, "Not my Wisit! Not my Wisit!", over and over again.
And ditto on the Eddie hate. The only good thing about having him on my tv is getting to read the numerous versions of his name I get to read in your recap.
I'm betting his actions are not pleasing Martha. Here's hoping he gets to hit the unemployment line because of his douchienss.
5 of 13 | Posted by Pegster | Posted on October 15, 2008 8:31 AM
Shitdick is going to become my new favorite swear word. I've been trying to suppress my giggles in my little corner of the office so people don't look at me funny. And that word does describes Eddie wonderfully. I love how he called Andrea's room shitty when HE picked everything out. Did you see the previews for next week? They show his buttcrack again. Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick Bravo, would you stop that! They may be torturing us on purpose cause they think they're funny.
Poor little Wisit. Seriously, that was a great dramatic exit. But yea, his room was worse than Nat's.
You are right about Ondine looking kind of beat up. She doesn't even brush her hair. Every time she's on screen I think to myself "buy a fucking comb!"
6 of 13 | Posted by shelleyh | Posted on October 15, 2008 11:03 AM
OMG, that was awes!!!! Absolu splend!!!! Stupen!!! and you had me laughing like a fool. I, for one, was absolu floored by Eddie's diarys, and the sneering, "Ew, ew, ew" and then dissing the shi out of his client . . . like you say, Jmo, doesn't he realize he's on TV! How could he call Seth's bro a dork, even if he's not as yum as his bro . . . he is just low, but, I dunno, I kind of enjoyed his open c*ntyness, it was like the gloves were off and he wasn't holding back for nothin'!!!
Lame, lame, lame that he didn't credit Black eye, esp with the rug thing, as you say, again, Jmo, ah, isn't paper free more green, that be lots of memo space . . .
I'm thinking Beige Spoons will go next, she's out of her league, like so many have been, but Nat seems to be educated at least . . . that one pic with the blush looks like her head was stripped on, but badly . . . . is it me!?
Anyway, love to the Jmo, and lastly, recycle bins . . . they sooooo don't know a thing about it, ridonk!!!
7 of 13 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 15, 2008 4:47 PM
Great recap! Smile at my monitor good. Eddie is a douche.
8 of 13 | Posted by oldmomoftoddlerboys | Posted on October 15, 2008 6:25 PM
Oh my, JMo! You give good recap my love. I'm cracking up at some of these comments too, especially JuddFan's Absolu splend!!!! Stupen!!!
LOL. You are def awes, J.
Your screencaps completely slay me, especially this one, which is just so, so apt "...I bet Nathan calls this piece "Down With Vaginas!..."
Perf!
I'm gonna miss little Whatisit too. He was so adorable! Eddie Pantyross is such a little douchnozzle! (That's right, I said panty, my most hated word -- that's how much I loathe him). I agree with Pegster that the only good thing about having him on the show is getting to read your hilarious remodelings of his name.
9 of 13 | Posted by zbird | Posted on October 15, 2008 6:50 PM
Whatzit just made my skin crawl...just too icky for me. J-mo really summed him up for me with this: "Whatisit's cotton-candy mind " --except, I had the feeling that ALL of him was cotton-candy, the nasty end bits that stick to your fingers for the rest of the goddamn day and end up giving you a rash because of all the nasty chemicals in there.
That, and he doesn't really seem to know anything at all about design. Even his drawings were like smoke.
But I don't know if any of these people know anything about interior design -- even's Nathan's office was an ugly cluttered mess.
And since I'm unfettered by any lustful thoughts here (since I'm hetero, and there just ain't no hot girls on this show...well, I liked that weird judge with the funny hats, what happened to her), I can say that all these people suck and it makes me wonder if they're not all tanking their careers.
But I really really really hope that Mister Sniffs his own shit-stained fingers gets canned from his job...
10 of 13 | Posted by itchy | Posted on October 15, 2008 11:57 PM
a splen thanks, zbird! Forgot to mention black eye's work of anti-feminist art!!!! Nailed on the head, that one!!!
Also forgot to mention how much I enjoyed the operatic goodbye to Whatsit, hope he gets a job with that, as he left it open for someone to swoop him up!!!! I can't be too sorry he's gone, as he's responsible for the demise of Big Daddy, speaking of lustful thoughts!!!!
11 of 13 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 16, 2008 12:52 PM
Seriously, Martha Stewart needs to rethink her hiring practices. Eddie is beyond douchiness.
12 of 13 | Posted by skies | Posted on October 17, 2008 8:31 AM
J-Mo;
"Awes" ... I just LOVE that!
Great recap, as always! You always find the hidden gems that I miss when I watch it.
I am SO sick of Eddie, I could just hurl whenever I look at him. He is the king of granny-panties and granny-design. Maybe he does wonders with Turtle Hill, but he still designs like an old bag, for an old bag (no way am I going to say "lady" for either of them.
Sadly, I do think that Whisit did do the worst job this week. He is funny and cute, but I don't think he has enough talent. Nat's excuse is that she's young, but she still has some kinda-cool ideas - she'll probably up with Andrea to go next week though.
Here's hoping for mor pics of PrettyBoy Preston without his shirt! Can't wait for next week.
Lots O' Love
13 of 13 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on October 17, 2008 6:21 PM