Of course, I always feel like anybody's credibility kinda takes a hit when they are featured as one of People Magazine's "50 Most Beautiful People in the World". Which I'm sure he didn't ask for... but he obviously didn't turn it down, either. Bitch. Don't you know that People prints their magazine with ink stolen from baby octopusseses? Some Captain Green-Teen you turned out to be!

Oh well, setting aside the also-green-jealousy that I (and 6 billion other Uggos) tend to feel in the presence of such beauty, after India reveals that this week's Challenge will be to redesign the offices for an "environmental consulting firm in an environmentally conscious way", Danny exhorts the designers to "Think about the 'R' words! Reduce, reuse, recycle, refinish, repair, reupholster..."

DannyRWords101208.JPG
...ooh!, don't forget "recession" and "regurgitate"...

"Just be resourceful!" he finishes. This is going to be paramount, as India says they have to use all of the items already found in the office space in their redesign efforts (and please, SexOndineCity, no "decoupaging" the walls using different colored Post-It™ notes!) This is to ensure that they don't create any more excess waste (than they already will).

Also, today's show is brought to you by Sherwin Williams, who has donated "low V.O.C. paint" which I took at first to mean "low Violation Of Chic paint" (remember Eddie's boogersnot green from last week?) but actually "V.O.C." stands for "Volatile Organic Compounds", which are these evil clusters of chemicals that are gathering together in out-of-the-way corners of the atmosphere late at night and planning the Downfall Of Humanity. I would be so totally scared of them if we as a species weren't already so hell-bent on beating them to it...

Also, also, instead of buying brand new fabrics to use, they'll be purchasing fabric remnants, and also shopping in the new "special eco-friendly section" of the Top Design Showroom! Oh, and then they get to dumpster-dive at Savers and Goodwill, too. Yay for eco-green-friendly-planet-love! Okay, I'm just kidding, there's no dumpster-trip, and besides, Jerrell the Amazing Hobosexual (©Flipit 2008) already has dibs at both for his upcoming fashion line...

So everybody picks out their "paint chips", grabs their Sherwin Williams "fan-decks" (design terminology is fascinating) and trots off to meet their new clients at Cadmus Environmental Group (Guilt-Tripping Consumers Our Specialty!)! It becomes crystal-clear very quickly that this office space has been "recycled" from the minimum-security prison it once was... ugh...

NathanChris101208.JPG
...don't tell me that carpet doesn't spew V.O.C.'s whenever you walk on it! ...

Black Eye Nathan is introduced to his client Chris, and is instantly horrified by the fluorescent lighting (and I don't blame him, I can't think of a more boner-trouncing brand of illumination). Chris tells him that that office is actually going to be for two people (this can't be good). In looking at color choices, Chris says he spent a lot of time living in East Africa so he likes 70's colors like "Harvest Gold" (which all of the kitchen appliances of my youth were painted in) and Nathan says they could tear up the carpeting and apply pieces of it to the wall to use as pinboards... pretty ingenious idea, Natey-boy! Although I'm hoping he's brought copious amounts of Eco-Friendly FeBreeze, because after 57 years of foot-traffic I imagine that shit smells pretty rank...

Here's Nasal Natalie getting to meet her client...

NatalieEmily101208.JPG
...somebody's made a brand new BFF!...

...and right away they are vibin' on their commonalities of having bob-cuts with giant-Emo-bangs and being kinda spacey. Although she is dressed like Death, Miss Emily actually likes bright colors (so she's lucked out big-time with Nat, who steers her towards a nice "Seafoam Blue")... A little disturbing is after their consultation hearing Nat having to reassure Emily by telling her "Don't worry!" Em insists she's not, anything would be an improvement on what they already have (which is so true, you could torch the place and still have a nicer looking office).

His Ego preceding him, Eddie BitchAssRoss meets with his client, Seth Rogen...

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...my mistake, it's his brother Jed Rogen...
Top Design: Musical Eco-Office Chairs Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |  6  |  7  |  8  |  9  |  10  |  11 

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Comments (13)

itchy:

Don't have time to read all right now, just the opening paras, but I gotta get this off my chest...

My god, that Eddie guy is without a doubt the MOST ANNOYING ASSHOLE EVER TO GRACE REALITY TELEVISION.

I mean, there have been some pretty obnoxiously aweful people on tv, but they usually had at least one redeeming feature, or at least made for good television.

But this guy? My god. And you know what I hate the most about him? His weird mouth/lip thing --it even looks like a sphincter the way it seems to pucker up all the time.

I say we all start a letter writing campaign to the Martha Stewart rag, get his ass canned. But then, they're probably already aware of his...eh....personality.

Snootchy Bootches:

Nooooooo..... bring back my little Wizzit!!! How will I go on without him?!


PS. Eddie is a twat and I hope Nathan gets him without lube for stealing his glory.

yentapatrol:

NOT Whatisit!!

OMG, now I'm really depressed. Sigh!

J-Mo, it's time for you to call in some connections and arrange for Eddie to fall out a window so Whatisit can be brought back.

As always, awesome recap,

Love ya,
Yenta

rubinia:

Thanks for giving me some giggles in the early morning, J-Mo! I liked Wisit but his room was really boring. Nasal Nat will probably be next to go. I actually kind of thought that the fabric colored boards were an interesting idea but it ended up looking like a dorm room. Go Nathan!

Pegster:

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I am in a Wisitless funk. I watched the end of this show on my couch, curled in a ball, muttering, "Not my Wisit! Not my Wisit!", over and over again.

And ditto on the Eddie hate. The only good thing about having him on my tv is getting to read the numerous versions of his name I get to read in your recap.

I'm betting his actions are not pleasing Martha. Here's hoping he gets to hit the unemployment line because of his douchienss.

shelleyh:

Shitdick is going to become my new favorite swear word. I've been trying to suppress my giggles in my little corner of the office so people don't look at me funny. And that word does describes Eddie wonderfully. I love how he called Andrea's room shitty when HE picked everything out. Did you see the previews for next week? They show his buttcrack again. Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick Bravo, would you stop that! They may be torturing us on purpose cause they think they're funny.

Poor little Wisit. Seriously, that was a great dramatic exit. But yea, his room was worse than Nat's.

You are right about Ondine looking kind of beat up. She doesn't even brush her hair. Every time she's on screen I think to myself "buy a fucking comb!"

juddfan:

OMG, that was awes!!!! Absolu splend!!!! Stupen!!! and you had me laughing like a fool. I, for one, was absolu floored by Eddie's diarys, and the sneering, "Ew, ew, ew" and then dissing the shi out of his client . . . like you say, Jmo, doesn't he realize he's on TV! How could he call Seth's bro a dork, even if he's not as yum as his bro . . . he is just low, but, I dunno, I kind of enjoyed his open c*ntyness, it was like the gloves were off and he wasn't holding back for nothin'!!!

Lame, lame, lame that he didn't credit Black eye, esp with the rug thing, as you say, again, Jmo, ah, isn't paper free more green, that be lots of memo space . . .

I'm thinking Beige Spoons will go next, she's out of her league, like so many have been, but Nat seems to be educated at least . . . that one pic with the blush looks like her head was stripped on, but badly . . . . is it me!?

Anyway, love to the Jmo, and lastly, recycle bins . . . they sooooo don't know a thing about it, ridonk!!!

oldmomoftoddlerboys:

Great recap! Smile at my monitor good. Eddie is a douche.

zbird:

Oh my, JMo! You give good recap my love. I'm cracking up at some of these comments too, especially JuddFan's Absolu splend!!!! Stupen!!!


LOL. You are def awes, J.

Your screencaps completely slay me, especially this one, which is just so, so apt "...I bet Nathan calls this piece "Down With Vaginas!..."

Perf!

I'm gonna miss little Whatisit too. He was so adorable! Eddie Pantyross is such a little douchnozzle! (That's right, I said panty, my most hated word -- that's how much I loathe him). I agree with Pegster that the only good thing about having him on the show is getting to read your hilarious remodelings of his name.

itchy:

Whatzit just made my skin crawl...just too icky for me. J-mo really summed him up for me with this: "Whatisit's cotton-candy mind " --except, I had the feeling that ALL of him was cotton-candy, the nasty end bits that stick to your fingers for the rest of the goddamn day and end up giving you a rash because of all the nasty chemicals in there.

That, and he doesn't really seem to know anything at all about design. Even his drawings were like smoke.

But I don't know if any of these people know anything about interior design -- even's Nathan's office was an ugly cluttered mess.

And since I'm unfettered by any lustful thoughts here (since I'm hetero, and there just ain't no hot girls on this show...well, I liked that weird judge with the funny hats, what happened to her), I can say that all these people suck and it makes me wonder if they're not all tanking their careers.

But I really really really hope that Mister Sniffs his own shit-stained fingers gets canned from his job...

juddfan:

a splen thanks, zbird! Forgot to mention black eye's work of anti-feminist art!!!! Nailed on the head, that one!!!

Also forgot to mention how much I enjoyed the operatic goodbye to Whatsit, hope he gets a job with that, as he left it open for someone to swoop him up!!!! I can't be too sorry he's gone, as he's responsible for the demise of Big Daddy, speaking of lustful thoughts!!!!

skies:

Seriously, Martha Stewart needs to rethink her hiring practices. Eddie is beyond douchiness.

arizonatom:

J-Mo;

"Awes" ... I just LOVE that!

Great recap, as always! You always find the hidden gems that I miss when I watch it.

I am SO sick of Eddie, I could just hurl whenever I look at him. He is the king of granny-panties and granny-design. Maybe he does wonders with Turtle Hill, but he still designs like an old bag, for an old bag (no way am I going to say "lady" for either of them.

Sadly, I do think that Whisit did do the worst job this week. He is funny and cute, but I don't think he has enough talent. Nat's excuse is that she's young, but she still has some kinda-cool ideas - she'll probably up with Andrea to go next week though.

Here's hoping for mor pics of PrettyBoy Preston without his shirt! Can't wait for next week.

Lots O' Love

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