Nathan moves on to meet with Prettyboy (and prolly secretly touch himself... I dunno why, but I get the distinct feeling that lately Natey-boy's been in a bit of a dry-spell as far as the hot-monkey-lovin'-thangs have been concerned, and I imagine being so near to a luscious piece of eye-candy like Preston has gotta make his sweet-tooth ache... and his balls tighten). Nathan thinks Preston chose his color palate and fabrics well, but "it's nothing new." Gee, Nate, how "new" are you gonna make "office" and have it still be functional, huh? Don't let Eddie's Dickface fumes cloud your head...
...that girl is poi-zzzuuuuuunnnnnnnnn!...
Lastly, Prettyboy Preston meets up with Hatchet-Fa-... er, um, I mean SexOndineCity to go over the plans in the conference room, which he notices is about 3 times the size of the room he WAS dealing with before, so he's gonna have a lot of extra work. My boyfriend is hoping he does so much work that he gets real hot & sweaty and takes his shirt off. I'm beginning to think I might need to drop a few pounds...
Oh well, the last hour of the night is spent meeting with the Carpenters... hey, won't they need a ouija board for that? (Zing! That's two, count 'em, two Karen Carpenter references in one week!) Sorry... I can't help myself... rainy days and Mondays and all that... where was I? OH, yeah, they're meeting with the carpenters and seamstresses, and Nathan is wanting to put the desk top on a pair of "work horses". (???) The carpenter answers my question when he says...
...well, some kinna horses, anyhow!...
Silver Spoon Andrea is lackadaisically taping stuff up to get ready for the teal-blue paint that she's being expected to slather all over Jed Rogen's office, and her carpenter is dubious of this decision, saying "It's gonna look like a Tijuana nightclub..." Then again, he's got one of those doinky half-ponytails (if I could find the person responsible for telling men that those ever looked cool, I would booty-smack-him and drop-kick him to Jesus!) and I can see stink-lines wafting upwards from him even through my television, so I'm pretty much throwing anything he says out with the rest of the babble-trash.
Eddie CholesteRoss is wowing his carpenter with an interpretive dance meant to show how they could take apart the wooden blinds and take the wooden slats and "I just go boom! boom! boom! boom! and make like some really funky light fixture!"...
...what I wouldn't give for small localized earthquake to strike directly under that desk right now... *sigh* ...
Whatisit is still trying to make heads or tails or intestines of the fabric choices Natalie left him to work with, and seems to have discarded most of them (his seamstress picks one up and says "No, not even this one?" and Whatisit replies "No, that hurts me." and giggles some more). Poor Whatisit, he's edited out the orange and zebra-prints that the client might have actually liked, and says he's going for something "sim-ple-and-al-most-mi-ni-mal!" Obviously he doesn't realize that the danger in "minimal" is that it can often be equated to "unfinished" and "bare bones" and "lazy"....
Well, it's now Elimination Day, and it turns out that while our poor exhausted designers have been sleeping the night away, the various craftspeople (carpenters, painters and seamstressii) have been pulling an all-nighter and completed the majority of their projects!
Black Eye Nathan has his "workhorses" *snicker* and while the ones I have seen have always been of a robust wooden construction held together with bolts & shit like that, these are bright yellow metal... and they look cheapo...
...not to mention flimsy...
Nasal Nat has had the bookcase in her room cut down and she's covering the boards in fabric to make panels to hang on the wall. Why is she doing this? I don't know. All's I know is that for some reason she is suddenly sporting an awfully raccoony makeup job...
...maybe she got pessed at her blush-brush this morning?...
SexOndineCity doesn't appear to have worried much about makeup this morning. Instead, she's gonna show just how committed to "green design" she is by making a water-bottle chandelier... interesting idea! I hope she wipes off the lipstick stains around the bottlenecks first (that's how you can always tell my mother's water bottles at home... and how you could always tell my grandma's cigarette butts in the ashtray).
...and speaking of stains, Eddie's running around and wielding a staple gun like a madwoman as he's tacking up the carpet padding to the walls of his office... and would you just get a good look at what Eddie is wearing today?...
...speaking of elderly panties...
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Comments (13)
Don't have time to read all right now, just the opening paras, but I gotta get this off my chest...
My god, that Eddie guy is without a doubt the MOST ANNOYING ASSHOLE EVER TO GRACE REALITY TELEVISION.
I mean, there have been some pretty obnoxiously aweful people on tv, but they usually had at least one redeeming feature, or at least made for good television.
But this guy? My god. And you know what I hate the most about him? His weird mouth/lip thing --it even looks like a sphincter the way it seems to pucker up all the time.
I say we all start a letter writing campaign to the Martha Stewart rag, get his ass canned. But then, they're probably already aware of his...eh....personality.
1 of 13 | Posted by itchy | Posted on October 15, 2008 1:57 AM
Nooooooo..... bring back my little Wizzit!!! How will I go on without him?!
PS. Eddie is a twat and I hope Nathan gets him without lube for stealing his glory.
2 of 13 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on October 15, 2008 4:28 AM
NOT Whatisit!!
OMG, now I'm really depressed. Sigh!
J-Mo, it's time for you to call in some connections and arrange for Eddie to fall out a window so Whatisit can be brought back.
As always, awesome recap,
Love ya,
Yenta
3 of 13 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on October 15, 2008 6:19 AM
Thanks for giving me some giggles in the early morning, J-Mo! I liked Wisit but his room was really boring. Nasal Nat will probably be next to go. I actually kind of thought that the fabric colored boards were an interesting idea but it ended up looking like a dorm room. Go Nathan!
4 of 13 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on October 15, 2008 6:53 AM
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I am in a Wisitless funk. I watched the end of this show on my couch, curled in a ball, muttering, "Not my Wisit! Not my Wisit!", over and over again.
And ditto on the Eddie hate. The only good thing about having him on my tv is getting to read the numerous versions of his name I get to read in your recap.
I'm betting his actions are not pleasing Martha. Here's hoping he gets to hit the unemployment line because of his douchienss.
5 of 13 | Posted by Pegster | Posted on October 15, 2008 8:31 AM
Shitdick is going to become my new favorite swear word. I've been trying to suppress my giggles in my little corner of the office so people don't look at me funny. And that word does describes Eddie wonderfully. I love how he called Andrea's room shitty when HE picked everything out. Did you see the previews for next week? They show his buttcrack again. Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick Bravo, would you stop that! They may be torturing us on purpose cause they think they're funny.
Poor little Wisit. Seriously, that was a great dramatic exit. But yea, his room was worse than Nat's.
You are right about Ondine looking kind of beat up. She doesn't even brush her hair. Every time she's on screen I think to myself "buy a fucking comb!"
6 of 13 | Posted by shelleyh | Posted on October 15, 2008 11:03 AM
OMG, that was awes!!!! Absolu splend!!!! Stupen!!! and you had me laughing like a fool. I, for one, was absolu floored by Eddie's diarys, and the sneering, "Ew, ew, ew" and then dissing the shi out of his client . . . like you say, Jmo, doesn't he realize he's on TV! How could he call Seth's bro a dork, even if he's not as yum as his bro . . . he is just low, but, I dunno, I kind of enjoyed his open c*ntyness, it was like the gloves were off and he wasn't holding back for nothin'!!!
Lame, lame, lame that he didn't credit Black eye, esp with the rug thing, as you say, again, Jmo, ah, isn't paper free more green, that be lots of memo space . . .
I'm thinking Beige Spoons will go next, she's out of her league, like so many have been, but Nat seems to be educated at least . . . that one pic with the blush looks like her head was stripped on, but badly . . . . is it me!?
Anyway, love to the Jmo, and lastly, recycle bins . . . they sooooo don't know a thing about it, ridonk!!!
7 of 13 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 15, 2008 4:47 PM
Great recap! Smile at my monitor good. Eddie is a douche.
8 of 13 | Posted by oldmomoftoddlerboys | Posted on October 15, 2008 6:25 PM
Oh my, JMo! You give good recap my love. I'm cracking up at some of these comments too, especially JuddFan's Absolu splend!!!! Stupen!!!
LOL. You are def awes, J.
Your screencaps completely slay me, especially this one, which is just so, so apt "...I bet Nathan calls this piece "Down With Vaginas!..."
Perf!
I'm gonna miss little Whatisit too. He was so adorable! Eddie Pantyross is such a little douchnozzle! (That's right, I said panty, my most hated word -- that's how much I loathe him). I agree with Pegster that the only good thing about having him on the show is getting to read your hilarious remodelings of his name.
9 of 13 | Posted by zbird | Posted on October 15, 2008 6:50 PM
Whatzit just made my skin crawl...just too icky for me. J-mo really summed him up for me with this: "Whatisit's cotton-candy mind " --except, I had the feeling that ALL of him was cotton-candy, the nasty end bits that stick to your fingers for the rest of the goddamn day and end up giving you a rash because of all the nasty chemicals in there.
That, and he doesn't really seem to know anything at all about design. Even his drawings were like smoke.
But I don't know if any of these people know anything about interior design -- even's Nathan's office was an ugly cluttered mess.
And since I'm unfettered by any lustful thoughts here (since I'm hetero, and there just ain't no hot girls on this show...well, I liked that weird judge with the funny hats, what happened to her), I can say that all these people suck and it makes me wonder if they're not all tanking their careers.
But I really really really hope that Mister Sniffs his own shit-stained fingers gets canned from his job...
10 of 13 | Posted by itchy | Posted on October 15, 2008 11:57 PM
a splen thanks, zbird! Forgot to mention black eye's work of anti-feminist art!!!! Nailed on the head, that one!!!
Also forgot to mention how much I enjoyed the operatic goodbye to Whatsit, hope he gets a job with that, as he left it open for someone to swoop him up!!!! I can't be too sorry he's gone, as he's responsible for the demise of Big Daddy, speaking of lustful thoughts!!!!
11 of 13 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 16, 2008 12:52 PM
Seriously, Martha Stewart needs to rethink her hiring practices. Eddie is beyond douchiness.
12 of 13 | Posted by skies | Posted on October 17, 2008 8:31 AM
J-Mo;
"Awes" ... I just LOVE that!
Great recap, as always! You always find the hidden gems that I miss when I watch it.
I am SO sick of Eddie, I could just hurl whenever I look at him. He is the king of granny-panties and granny-design. Maybe he does wonders with Turtle Hill, but he still designs like an old bag, for an old bag (no way am I going to say "lady" for either of them.
Sadly, I do think that Whisit did do the worst job this week. He is funny and cute, but I don't think he has enough talent. Nat's excuse is that she's young, but she still has some kinda-cool ideas - she'll probably up with Andrea to go next week though.
Here's hoping for mor pics of PrettyBoy Preston without his shirt! Can't wait for next week.
Lots O' Love
13 of 13 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on October 17, 2008 6:21 PM