Wow, I didn't think that I'd ever see Eddie looking so to' up from the flo' up, but Jesus, that's just hideous! Does he remember that he's, you know, on TV?!?!? You mean to tell me that this guy travels with a sterling silver butler service and yet he can't spring for a T-shirt that's a.) not a V-neck... b.) not been filled with buckshot... and c.) paired with my grandpa's baby-blue shorts from the 60's? And he's usualy such a dapper little fuck...
Guess who's having a major ColorPhobia-related reaction? You got it! Our sad little Silver Spoon Andrea and her aversion to anything vivid is feeling trapped by the endless teal blue walls that her client wanted...
...she needs Nuprin. Little. Yellow. Different...
I think Andrea can only deal with color when it's in caplet form. Anything larger just scares the bedoobies out of her. She's completely at a loss for how to tone down the "shocking" blue of the walls and says "I don't think Eddie really wants to help me right now so I have to figure out something else on my own." Oooooh-kay. Andrea-honey, I hate to break it to you so bluntly, but this is not a team challenge. Eddie doesn't have to "help" you at all. You're supposed to be coming up with this design all by your self.
Here comes Todd OldMa'am to do his daily two-minute useless consult. I can't even bring myself to tell you what he said, because none of it was really important anyhow (other than, he really loved the teal-blue paintjob in Andrea's room which made her sploosh diarrhea out of every bodily orifice she has) and actually, his total screen time in tonight's episode isn't even 2 lousy minutes, it's a minute forty! You know, at least Tim Gunn offers some criticism and advice, whereas Todd just seems to breeze in, gladhand everybody, tell them how wonderful it all looks (even when it's clearly a giant pile of fug) and collect his paycheck. OH, and give everyone a hug after they're eliminated.... putz.
Oh God, it gets worse, as the Cadmus people have all come back to check things out 2 hours before Elimination, and they're just now being informed that the designers have all be switched around... there are some interesting looks being given, especially from Richard the director as he gets a load of his new "masculine" office...
...wow, I guess I am a girlyman...
Doesn't he look like Daddy Jim Walsh from 90210 (but with more hair)? Ondine is trying to sell him "No, really, it is masculine!" line of bullshit, but it appears he's not really buying it. However, it seems like several of the others (Jed Rogen, Joe, Chris) are buying the looks being sold in the other rooms, so go figure.
Receptionist Tracy mentions to Nasal Nat that she isn't seeing the recycle bins that she asked for, so Our Gal Friday Nat decides to make some out of her leftover MDF board (and since I had no clue what MDF stood for, and they never bothered to explain it, here's what it stands for... Medium Density Fibreboard... a.k.a. that shitty pressboard stuff that they make all sorts of cheap shelving out of and that often warps under the combined weight of your 90210 Seasons 1, 2, 3, and 4...).
Anyhow, Emo-Emily (Nat's new BFF) couldn't make it in to view the progress on her office, so Joe is standing in for her as he checks in with Whatisit. I love when they have actual real people on these shows who are forced to "live with" these designs, they rarely conceal what they're truly feeling about the shitty work that's being crammed down their throats...
...I get this same look whenever I'm forced to watch Lifetime network...
Joe's quite seriously asking Whatisit if all the drab does a good job reflecting Emily's style, and Whatisit's comeback is: "Quite-hon-est-ly-mi-ni-mal-is-m-real-ly-works-for-a-young-sty-lish-girl-I-think-it's-age-ap-pro-pri-ate..." Sorry, Whatist, but you're rationalizing. That shit is boring with a capital BLAH. Still, he's sticking to his glueguns, as he says "I-hope-that-the-jud-ges-will-ap-pre-ci-ate-that-I-chose-to-do-some-thing-el-e-gant-in-stead-of-some-thing-that's-o-ver-ly-cre-a-tive-and-gim-mick-y." Wow, well, we wouldn't want to be "overly creative" now, would we? Girl, come on back to Planet Earth, you've drifted on over into some other time-space continuum!
Now Black Eye Nathan has had a chance to see what Eddie GrannyRoss is doing in his former client's office... and says,"I think Eddie's just rollling with my ideas. It's exactly what I was planning it to be!" I still bet it smells like feet in there. I hope another one of Nathan's ideas was to spring for a Glade Plug-In or two.
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Comments (13)
Don't have time to read all right now, just the opening paras, but I gotta get this off my chest...
My god, that Eddie guy is without a doubt the MOST ANNOYING ASSHOLE EVER TO GRACE REALITY TELEVISION.
I mean, there have been some pretty obnoxiously aweful people on tv, but they usually had at least one redeeming feature, or at least made for good television.
But this guy? My god. And you know what I hate the most about him? His weird mouth/lip thing --it even looks like a sphincter the way it seems to pucker up all the time.
I say we all start a letter writing campaign to the Martha Stewart rag, get his ass canned. But then, they're probably already aware of his...eh....personality.
1 of 13 | Posted by itchy | Posted on October 15, 2008 1:57 AM
Nooooooo..... bring back my little Wizzit!!! How will I go on without him?!
PS. Eddie is a twat and I hope Nathan gets him without lube for stealing his glory.
2 of 13 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on October 15, 2008 4:28 AM
NOT Whatisit!!
OMG, now I'm really depressed. Sigh!
J-Mo, it's time for you to call in some connections and arrange for Eddie to fall out a window so Whatisit can be brought back.
As always, awesome recap,
Love ya,
Yenta
3 of 13 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on October 15, 2008 6:19 AM
Thanks for giving me some giggles in the early morning, J-Mo! I liked Wisit but his room was really boring. Nasal Nat will probably be next to go. I actually kind of thought that the fabric colored boards were an interesting idea but it ended up looking like a dorm room. Go Nathan!
4 of 13 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on October 15, 2008 6:53 AM
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I am in a Wisitless funk. I watched the end of this show on my couch, curled in a ball, muttering, "Not my Wisit! Not my Wisit!", over and over again.
And ditto on the Eddie hate. The only good thing about having him on my tv is getting to read the numerous versions of his name I get to read in your recap.
I'm betting his actions are not pleasing Martha. Here's hoping he gets to hit the unemployment line because of his douchienss.
5 of 13 | Posted by Pegster | Posted on October 15, 2008 8:31 AM
Shitdick is going to become my new favorite swear word. I've been trying to suppress my giggles in my little corner of the office so people don't look at me funny. And that word does describes Eddie wonderfully. I love how he called Andrea's room shitty when HE picked everything out. Did you see the previews for next week? They show his buttcrack again. Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick Bravo, would you stop that! They may be torturing us on purpose cause they think they're funny.
Poor little Wisit. Seriously, that was a great dramatic exit. But yea, his room was worse than Nat's.
You are right about Ondine looking kind of beat up. She doesn't even brush her hair. Every time she's on screen I think to myself "buy a fucking comb!"
6 of 13 | Posted by shelleyh | Posted on October 15, 2008 11:03 AM
OMG, that was awes!!!! Absolu splend!!!! Stupen!!! and you had me laughing like a fool. I, for one, was absolu floored by Eddie's diarys, and the sneering, "Ew, ew, ew" and then dissing the shi out of his client . . . like you say, Jmo, doesn't he realize he's on TV! How could he call Seth's bro a dork, even if he's not as yum as his bro . . . he is just low, but, I dunno, I kind of enjoyed his open c*ntyness, it was like the gloves were off and he wasn't holding back for nothin'!!!
Lame, lame, lame that he didn't credit Black eye, esp with the rug thing, as you say, again, Jmo, ah, isn't paper free more green, that be lots of memo space . . .
I'm thinking Beige Spoons will go next, she's out of her league, like so many have been, but Nat seems to be educated at least . . . that one pic with the blush looks like her head was stripped on, but badly . . . . is it me!?
Anyway, love to the Jmo, and lastly, recycle bins . . . they sooooo don't know a thing about it, ridonk!!!
7 of 13 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 15, 2008 4:47 PM
Great recap! Smile at my monitor good. Eddie is a douche.
8 of 13 | Posted by oldmomoftoddlerboys | Posted on October 15, 2008 6:25 PM
Oh my, JMo! You give good recap my love. I'm cracking up at some of these comments too, especially JuddFan's Absolu splend!!!! Stupen!!!
LOL. You are def awes, J.
Your screencaps completely slay me, especially this one, which is just so, so apt "...I bet Nathan calls this piece "Down With Vaginas!..."
Perf!
I'm gonna miss little Whatisit too. He was so adorable! Eddie Pantyross is such a little douchnozzle! (That's right, I said panty, my most hated word -- that's how much I loathe him). I agree with Pegster that the only good thing about having him on the show is getting to read your hilarious remodelings of his name.
9 of 13 | Posted by zbird | Posted on October 15, 2008 6:50 PM
Whatzit just made my skin crawl...just too icky for me. J-mo really summed him up for me with this: "Whatisit's cotton-candy mind " --except, I had the feeling that ALL of him was cotton-candy, the nasty end bits that stick to your fingers for the rest of the goddamn day and end up giving you a rash because of all the nasty chemicals in there.
That, and he doesn't really seem to know anything at all about design. Even his drawings were like smoke.
But I don't know if any of these people know anything about interior design -- even's Nathan's office was an ugly cluttered mess.
And since I'm unfettered by any lustful thoughts here (since I'm hetero, and there just ain't no hot girls on this show...well, I liked that weird judge with the funny hats, what happened to her), I can say that all these people suck and it makes me wonder if they're not all tanking their careers.
But I really really really hope that Mister Sniffs his own shit-stained fingers gets canned from his job...
10 of 13 | Posted by itchy | Posted on October 15, 2008 11:57 PM
a splen thanks, zbird! Forgot to mention black eye's work of anti-feminist art!!!! Nailed on the head, that one!!!
Also forgot to mention how much I enjoyed the operatic goodbye to Whatsit, hope he gets a job with that, as he left it open for someone to swoop him up!!!! I can't be too sorry he's gone, as he's responsible for the demise of Big Daddy, speaking of lustful thoughts!!!!
11 of 13 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 16, 2008 12:52 PM
Seriously, Martha Stewart needs to rethink her hiring practices. Eddie is beyond douchiness.
12 of 13 | Posted by skies | Posted on October 17, 2008 8:31 AM
J-Mo;
"Awes" ... I just LOVE that!
Great recap, as always! You always find the hidden gems that I miss when I watch it.
I am SO sick of Eddie, I could just hurl whenever I look at him. He is the king of granny-panties and granny-design. Maybe he does wonders with Turtle Hill, but he still designs like an old bag, for an old bag (no way am I going to say "lady" for either of them.
Sadly, I do think that Whisit did do the worst job this week. He is funny and cute, but I don't think he has enough talent. Nat's excuse is that she's young, but she still has some kinda-cool ideas - she'll probably up with Andrea to go next week though.
Here's hoping for mor pics of PrettyBoy Preston without his shirt! Can't wait for next week.
Lots O' Love
13 of 13 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on October 17, 2008 6:21 PM