Over in Reception, Silver Spoon Andrea is all but begging Eddie to help her come up with some kind of idea to help lessen the overwhelming TEAL of it all, but he's not sticking around to have his bitchbrain picked and kinda walks away from her mid-question. "I'm not really helping Andrea, you know, like, I don't wanna put my name on something that's shitty!" Gee, Andrea, remember how last week you were wondering if Eddie's really being 100% geniune with you?...

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...well, he is... 100% geniune asshole...

I bet Eddie smells like feet, too, 'specially after working with that old carpet-padding all day (and poor Andrea looks like she's about to pass out from having her nose shoved into his armpits). Andrea decides to take out her frustrations by talking more shit about Nasal Natalie's room, she thinks the fabric-covered shelf-panels on the walls look "silly"...

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...that's not true, the only thing that looks silly in this room is Natalie!...

As if she's Spidey-sensing Andrea saying nasty things about her design, Nat decides to check into what Whatisit's been up to with her former client's office, and right away she says his room is not working, pointing out that the client Emily really liked bright colors "and Wisit decides not to use my fabulous fabrics... which is really stupid." Um, okay Nat, can you explain to me where the "bright colors" are in a zebra-print, cuz unless the zebra is really embarrassed, that shit's just black and white, right? You're treading on very dangerous ground when you start calling out other people for being not-so-bright... people who live in glass houses shouldn't eat stones, okay?

Time is called, and now we get to see just whether or not their "green" designs will be judged as being either sparkling emeralds... or hay-filled, fly-covered horse-turds...

They're going to start off with Eddie CopieRoss' "partnered" office... he says "I did take some of Nathan's concepts but then I pushed it to the next level!"...

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...by brilliantly adding an erasable month calendar...

Eddie is most proud of the fact that he took the old blinds, tore them apart and then made this really awesomely avant-garde jack-straws-in-a-hurricane light fixture...

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...then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blooooow your light fixture down!...

Gee, I hope those bulbs are of the long-lasting 50-to-60 year-life kind, otherwise good luck trying to change them! Replacing fluorescent bulbs is a big enough bitch when you have full access to the end-sockets, how in the name of Katrina are they supposed to do it with this fucked-up rose trellis in the way? Besides, if I had to look at that shit every day it would totally creep me out... it reminds me too much of that eerie duct-tape job on the upstairs closet in The Grudge (you know... the one where the kitty-cat-boy was hiding?)... *shudder*...

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...Meow...

He did the same shit on the door, too. Anyhow, India wants to know if Eddie was happy to take on Nathan's choices, and Eddie gushes "Oh. My Gawd! I think Nathan has the best taste!" Certainly better than you, Eddie, because Nathan would never have appeared in front of the judges wearing that holey piece of shit T-shirt and those old man shorts. Nina Garcia would have stabbed you to death with her pencil for daring to stand before her in such an offensive state. Although I don't have a clue what is up with India Hicks and her weird muumuu...

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...I guess she's recycling old parachutes from gay skydivers?...

Back to the judges, Jonathan Adler wants to know what was "Nathan's stuff", and Eddie is extremely quick to answer "Uh, the paint colors and the fabric!" And, apparently, nothing else. Interesting.

Now Danny Seo and Margaret Russell are visiting Nasal Natalie's Reception Area...

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...I think that's actually the simplified Chinese character for "ugly"...

Natalie seems real proud of her fabric-wood-art-board-stuff, and Danny wants to know "Are these functional at all? Could they be used as, like, little memo boards?" Natalie's scrambling and says "Yeah, it has a little bit of a padding because of the fabric...?" Okay, and of course, everybody needs a big bunch of "memo-boards" behind their desk, right? Well, okay, only if you don't have this new-fangled thing called 'email'. Isn't being paper-free considered "green"?

Anyhow, Nat goes on to point out how she used her leftover MDF board to make these three rather geometric-looking "recycling bins" and with that, they're off to see the Whatisit... the Wonderful Whatisit of Odds...

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...sure looks like "fun" and "funky" and "colorful" to me!...
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Comments (13)

itchy:

Don't have time to read all right now, just the opening paras, but I gotta get this off my chest...

My god, that Eddie guy is without a doubt the MOST ANNOYING ASSHOLE EVER TO GRACE REALITY TELEVISION.

I mean, there have been some pretty obnoxiously aweful people on tv, but they usually had at least one redeeming feature, or at least made for good television.

But this guy? My god. And you know what I hate the most about him? His weird mouth/lip thing --it even looks like a sphincter the way it seems to pucker up all the time.

I say we all start a letter writing campaign to the Martha Stewart rag, get his ass canned. But then, they're probably already aware of his...eh....personality.

Snootchy Bootches:

Nooooooo..... bring back my little Wizzit!!! How will I go on without him?!


PS. Eddie is a twat and I hope Nathan gets him without lube for stealing his glory.

yentapatrol:

NOT Whatisit!!

OMG, now I'm really depressed. Sigh!

J-Mo, it's time for you to call in some connections and arrange for Eddie to fall out a window so Whatisit can be brought back.

As always, awesome recap,

Love ya,
Yenta

rubinia:

Thanks for giving me some giggles in the early morning, J-Mo! I liked Wisit but his room was really boring. Nasal Nat will probably be next to go. I actually kind of thought that the fabric colored boards were an interesting idea but it ended up looking like a dorm room. Go Nathan!

Pegster:

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I am in a Wisitless funk. I watched the end of this show on my couch, curled in a ball, muttering, "Not my Wisit! Not my Wisit!", over and over again.

And ditto on the Eddie hate. The only good thing about having him on my tv is getting to read the numerous versions of his name I get to read in your recap.

I'm betting his actions are not pleasing Martha. Here's hoping he gets to hit the unemployment line because of his douchienss.

shelleyh:

Shitdick is going to become my new favorite swear word. I've been trying to suppress my giggles in my little corner of the office so people don't look at me funny. And that word does describes Eddie wonderfully. I love how he called Andrea's room shitty when HE picked everything out. Did you see the previews for next week? They show his buttcrack again. Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick Bravo, would you stop that! They may be torturing us on purpose cause they think they're funny.

Poor little Wisit. Seriously, that was a great dramatic exit. But yea, his room was worse than Nat's.

You are right about Ondine looking kind of beat up. She doesn't even brush her hair. Every time she's on screen I think to myself "buy a fucking comb!"

juddfan:

OMG, that was awes!!!! Absolu splend!!!! Stupen!!! and you had me laughing like a fool. I, for one, was absolu floored by Eddie's diarys, and the sneering, "Ew, ew, ew" and then dissing the shi out of his client . . . like you say, Jmo, doesn't he realize he's on TV! How could he call Seth's bro a dork, even if he's not as yum as his bro . . . he is just low, but, I dunno, I kind of enjoyed his open c*ntyness, it was like the gloves were off and he wasn't holding back for nothin'!!!

Lame, lame, lame that he didn't credit Black eye, esp with the rug thing, as you say, again, Jmo, ah, isn't paper free more green, that be lots of memo space . . .

I'm thinking Beige Spoons will go next, she's out of her league, like so many have been, but Nat seems to be educated at least . . . that one pic with the blush looks like her head was stripped on, but badly . . . . is it me!?

Anyway, love to the Jmo, and lastly, recycle bins . . . they sooooo don't know a thing about it, ridonk!!!

oldmomoftoddlerboys:

Great recap! Smile at my monitor good. Eddie is a douche.

zbird:

Oh my, JMo! You give good recap my love. I'm cracking up at some of these comments too, especially JuddFan's Absolu splend!!!! Stupen!!!


LOL. You are def awes, J.

Your screencaps completely slay me, especially this one, which is just so, so apt "...I bet Nathan calls this piece "Down With Vaginas!..."

Perf!

I'm gonna miss little Whatisit too. He was so adorable! Eddie Pantyross is such a little douchnozzle! (That's right, I said panty, my most hated word -- that's how much I loathe him). I agree with Pegster that the only good thing about having him on the show is getting to read your hilarious remodelings of his name.

itchy:

Whatzit just made my skin crawl...just too icky for me. J-mo really summed him up for me with this: "Whatisit's cotton-candy mind " --except, I had the feeling that ALL of him was cotton-candy, the nasty end bits that stick to your fingers for the rest of the goddamn day and end up giving you a rash because of all the nasty chemicals in there.

That, and he doesn't really seem to know anything at all about design. Even his drawings were like smoke.

But I don't know if any of these people know anything about interior design -- even's Nathan's office was an ugly cluttered mess.

And since I'm unfettered by any lustful thoughts here (since I'm hetero, and there just ain't no hot girls on this show...well, I liked that weird judge with the funny hats, what happened to her), I can say that all these people suck and it makes me wonder if they're not all tanking their careers.

But I really really really hope that Mister Sniffs his own shit-stained fingers gets canned from his job...

juddfan:

a splen thanks, zbird! Forgot to mention black eye's work of anti-feminist art!!!! Nailed on the head, that one!!!

Also forgot to mention how much I enjoyed the operatic goodbye to Whatsit, hope he gets a job with that, as he left it open for someone to swoop him up!!!! I can't be too sorry he's gone, as he's responsible for the demise of Big Daddy, speaking of lustful thoughts!!!!

skies:

Seriously, Martha Stewart needs to rethink her hiring practices. Eddie is beyond douchiness.

arizonatom:

J-Mo;

"Awes" ... I just LOVE that!

Great recap, as always! You always find the hidden gems that I miss when I watch it.

I am SO sick of Eddie, I could just hurl whenever I look at him. He is the king of granny-panties and granny-design. Maybe he does wonders with Turtle Hill, but he still designs like an old bag, for an old bag (no way am I going to say "lady" for either of them.

Sadly, I do think that Whisit did do the worst job this week. He is funny and cute, but I don't think he has enough talent. Nat's excuse is that she's young, but she still has some kinda-cool ideas - she'll probably up with Andrea to go next week though.

Here's hoping for mor pics of PrettyBoy Preston without his shirt! Can't wait for next week.

Lots O' Love

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