Whatisit is telling them all about how he edited out the more "funky" color elements Natalie had chosen in favor of this "calming" blue color. If that color were any calmer, it would need to be embalmed. Maggie wants to know what's under the so-called "slip-covers" of the two uncomfortable-looking airport-terminal-reject chairs... Whatisit says they're "scary furry bathmat covered chairs!" and giggles some more...
...those aren't "slip-covers", they're "army blankets tossed over a chair"!...
That really looks like shit! It's like he didn't even attempt to recover them, and it looks damn sloppy. Meanwhile, Danny Seo's eyes have fixated on the desk itself and he wants to know if Whatisit painted it, which he admits to, but when Danny wants to know if it looks the way it does because he did a "faux-finish", Whatisit is forced to admit that his paint did not adhere to the desk because it already had a surfacing on it...
...it looks like he lit the damned thing on fire!...
Mags wants to know what was his "strongest 'green' effort", and Whatisit replies that it was the fact of him not wasting anything that makes his work so eco-friendly, see he's helping to save the planet by not buying stuff that he did not want! This causes Danny Seo to loudly guffaw and Margaret says "That's a bit grudging!" and they leave... Whatisit rushes back over to smooth down the "slip-cover" that Danny and Maggie disturbed...
India and Jon-Jon are now visiting SexOndineCity in the "manly office"...
...where are the nudie magazines?...
Ondine says that she was quite challenged by Whatisit's femmy color-choices, so she butched everything up a bit, and she even made a "chandelier" out of recycled water bottles, which actually looks kinda cool...
...but, again, I dunno how they're supposed to change the bulbs...
Jon-Jon loves it, too! "Props for the chandy!" he says. Wow, I had no idea that "prit" and "gorge" and "delouche" and "chandy" were acceptable abbreviations! Awes! India is asking Ondine what she thought about Whatisit's original color choices for this office and here's where Miss 'Dine brings up that it's supposed to be a man's office...
...a man in the "Crying Game" sense of the word?...
India and Jon's faces are classic, and India says, "Funny, this feels so... feminine!" Ha ha, Ondine! I guess your attempts to inject some Y-chromosomality have failed... girly, girly, girrrr-leee! India and Jon-Jon thank her and flee the estrogen-den...
Let's follow Danny and Margaret in to see what Black Eye Nathan was able to come up with...
...no smelly carpeting on the walls here...
He points out that he had the carpenter cut the top off the desk (so he could support it with the yellow metal sawhorses) and they turned the legs of the desk into the shelving over by the window. Good thinking, Natey! Margaret wants to know what else he did that was ecological, and Nathan points out the curtain rods are the inner cardboard tubing from the bolts of fabric, which causes Danny to instantly orgasm. Also, his "art piece" is made out of leftover fabric as well...
...I bet Nathan calls this piece "Down With Vaginas!"...
Actually, I kind of like what Nathan did the best so far, it looks masculine with enough color pops to keep it from being sleep-inducing, and yet it's not wacky and bizarre like Eddie the TwatLips' room...
Presently Margaret and Danny move on to visit Prettyboy Preston and see his new conference room...
...I bet there will be numerous fights over late-night pizza-topping selection at this table...
It looks pretty nice, everything looks clean and sharp, and the molding on the walls is kind of an interesting touch. Danny wants to know what Preston's top three "green" things are in the room... Prest-O-Matic says that 1.) using the desk in the room as the conference table, and 2.) repainting the bookshelf that was in the room, and 3.) his purchasing of...
...a pair of silver "snap-cups"?!?...
OH, my bad, those are "recycle bins". I'd say you could fit a pop can, a wad of gum and a lollipop stick in there before you'd have to dump it. Danny honestly does not look so impressed, but I'm guessing he's gonna prolly ask Preston out on a date anyways.
Last in line tonight is Silver Spoon Andrea being visited by Jon-Jon and India...
...what it looks like to work in "Waterworld"...
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Comments (13)
Don't have time to read all right now, just the opening paras, but I gotta get this off my chest...
My god, that Eddie guy is without a doubt the MOST ANNOYING ASSHOLE EVER TO GRACE REALITY TELEVISION.
I mean, there have been some pretty obnoxiously aweful people on tv, but they usually had at least one redeeming feature, or at least made for good television.
But this guy? My god. And you know what I hate the most about him? His weird mouth/lip thing --it even looks like a sphincter the way it seems to pucker up all the time.
I say we all start a letter writing campaign to the Martha Stewart rag, get his ass canned. But then, they're probably already aware of his...eh....personality.
1 of 13 | Posted by itchy | Posted on October 15, 2008 1:57 AM
Nooooooo..... bring back my little Wizzit!!! How will I go on without him?!
PS. Eddie is a twat and I hope Nathan gets him without lube for stealing his glory.
2 of 13 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on October 15, 2008 4:28 AM
NOT Whatisit!!
OMG, now I'm really depressed. Sigh!
J-Mo, it's time for you to call in some connections and arrange for Eddie to fall out a window so Whatisit can be brought back.
As always, awesome recap,
Love ya,
Yenta
3 of 13 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on October 15, 2008 6:19 AM
Thanks for giving me some giggles in the early morning, J-Mo! I liked Wisit but his room was really boring. Nasal Nat will probably be next to go. I actually kind of thought that the fabric colored boards were an interesting idea but it ended up looking like a dorm room. Go Nathan!
4 of 13 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on October 15, 2008 6:53 AM
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I am in a Wisitless funk. I watched the end of this show on my couch, curled in a ball, muttering, "Not my Wisit! Not my Wisit!", over and over again.
And ditto on the Eddie hate. The only good thing about having him on my tv is getting to read the numerous versions of his name I get to read in your recap.
I'm betting his actions are not pleasing Martha. Here's hoping he gets to hit the unemployment line because of his douchienss.
5 of 13 | Posted by Pegster | Posted on October 15, 2008 8:31 AM
Shitdick is going to become my new favorite swear word. I've been trying to suppress my giggles in my little corner of the office so people don't look at me funny. And that word does describes Eddie wonderfully. I love how he called Andrea's room shitty when HE picked everything out. Did you see the previews for next week? They show his buttcrack again. Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick Bravo, would you stop that! They may be torturing us on purpose cause they think they're funny.
Poor little Wisit. Seriously, that was a great dramatic exit. But yea, his room was worse than Nat's.
You are right about Ondine looking kind of beat up. She doesn't even brush her hair. Every time she's on screen I think to myself "buy a fucking comb!"
6 of 13 | Posted by shelleyh | Posted on October 15, 2008 11:03 AM
OMG, that was awes!!!! Absolu splend!!!! Stupen!!! and you had me laughing like a fool. I, for one, was absolu floored by Eddie's diarys, and the sneering, "Ew, ew, ew" and then dissing the shi out of his client . . . like you say, Jmo, doesn't he realize he's on TV! How could he call Seth's bro a dork, even if he's not as yum as his bro . . . he is just low, but, I dunno, I kind of enjoyed his open c*ntyness, it was like the gloves were off and he wasn't holding back for nothin'!!!
Lame, lame, lame that he didn't credit Black eye, esp with the rug thing, as you say, again, Jmo, ah, isn't paper free more green, that be lots of memo space . . .
I'm thinking Beige Spoons will go next, she's out of her league, like so many have been, but Nat seems to be educated at least . . . that one pic with the blush looks like her head was stripped on, but badly . . . . is it me!?
Anyway, love to the Jmo, and lastly, recycle bins . . . they sooooo don't know a thing about it, ridonk!!!
7 of 13 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 15, 2008 4:47 PM
Great recap! Smile at my monitor good. Eddie is a douche.
8 of 13 | Posted by oldmomoftoddlerboys | Posted on October 15, 2008 6:25 PM
Oh my, JMo! You give good recap my love. I'm cracking up at some of these comments too, especially JuddFan's Absolu splend!!!! Stupen!!!
LOL. You are def awes, J.
Your screencaps completely slay me, especially this one, which is just so, so apt "...I bet Nathan calls this piece "Down With Vaginas!..."
Perf!
I'm gonna miss little Whatisit too. He was so adorable! Eddie Pantyross is such a little douchnozzle! (That's right, I said panty, my most hated word -- that's how much I loathe him). I agree with Pegster that the only good thing about having him on the show is getting to read your hilarious remodelings of his name.
9 of 13 | Posted by zbird | Posted on October 15, 2008 6:50 PM
Whatzit just made my skin crawl...just too icky for me. J-mo really summed him up for me with this: "Whatisit's cotton-candy mind " --except, I had the feeling that ALL of him was cotton-candy, the nasty end bits that stick to your fingers for the rest of the goddamn day and end up giving you a rash because of all the nasty chemicals in there.
That, and he doesn't really seem to know anything at all about design. Even his drawings were like smoke.
But I don't know if any of these people know anything about interior design -- even's Nathan's office was an ugly cluttered mess.
And since I'm unfettered by any lustful thoughts here (since I'm hetero, and there just ain't no hot girls on this show...well, I liked that weird judge with the funny hats, what happened to her), I can say that all these people suck and it makes me wonder if they're not all tanking their careers.
But I really really really hope that Mister Sniffs his own shit-stained fingers gets canned from his job...
10 of 13 | Posted by itchy | Posted on October 15, 2008 11:57 PM
a splen thanks, zbird! Forgot to mention black eye's work of anti-feminist art!!!! Nailed on the head, that one!!!
Also forgot to mention how much I enjoyed the operatic goodbye to Whatsit, hope he gets a job with that, as he left it open for someone to swoop him up!!!! I can't be too sorry he's gone, as he's responsible for the demise of Big Daddy, speaking of lustful thoughts!!!!
11 of 13 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 16, 2008 12:52 PM
Seriously, Martha Stewart needs to rethink her hiring practices. Eddie is beyond douchiness.
12 of 13 | Posted by skies | Posted on October 17, 2008 8:31 AM
J-Mo;
"Awes" ... I just LOVE that!
Great recap, as always! You always find the hidden gems that I miss when I watch it.
I am SO sick of Eddie, I could just hurl whenever I look at him. He is the king of granny-panties and granny-design. Maybe he does wonders with Turtle Hill, but he still designs like an old bag, for an old bag (no way am I going to say "lady" for either of them.
Sadly, I do think that Whisit did do the worst job this week. He is funny and cute, but I don't think he has enough talent. Nat's excuse is that she's young, but she still has some kinda-cool ideas - she'll probably up with Andrea to go next week though.
Here's hoping for mor pics of PrettyBoy Preston without his shirt! Can't wait for next week.
Lots O' Love
13 of 13 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on October 17, 2008 6:21 PM