Meanwhile, Prettyboy Preston seems to have his world under control. Perhaps Eddie's foot-and-ass-dragging wasn't able to screw him up much after all...
..."What do you mean this 'looks phallic'?!?"...
Black Eye Nathan has decided to make some art, so he's pouring paint down a canvas, and says "I'm not trying to be a cocky asshole, but it's super cool!"...
...wow, that is pretty cool...
...I'm sure Mr. Chubbles thought it was fun, too...
Well, what do you know? Ondine's Dynamic Duo of Slow-Ass Carpenters actually finished building all her stuff. Manufactured drama, anyone? She breathes a huge sigh of relief. Her hair is wishing for the same...
And with that, it looks like everything is finished! "Well, it's done!" Eddie crows to Preston, "Congratulations!" Preston tells Eddie he thinks it looks good. Eddie, of course, is quick with the backhanded compliment as he says, "It looks great! I mean... it has your... name all over it!"...
...TRANSLATION: "It's not as good as if it had, say, my name all over it!"...
As they share an insincere hug and Eddie grabs his purse to leave he calls out over his shoulder "We'll definitely chit'n'chat sometime soon!" Of course, in his private interview Eddie says that he thinks Preston is "a nice guy" but that he likes Nathan's and Ondine's houses better because they're "more creative". He's right, actually, cuz Preston's place doesn't have chicken wire or Special-Ed Paintings.
Nasal Nat hugs Black Eye Nathan g'bye, and Silver Spoon Andrea is doing the same with SexOndineCity. Andrea says she thinks if Ondine wins then it will feel like a victory for her, too. "I think she should definitely take me out for dinner and maybe to a great store in New York and buy me a new outfit!" So much for Team Estrogen's selfless teamwork and camaraderie...
Here comes the judging panel of India Hicks, Jonathan Adler, Kelly Worstler and Margaret Russell, stopping by Casa De Ovaries first...
...looks like Mr. Chubbles had time to do a painting for Ondine's place, too...
Ondine says her house is "retro-glam" and her living room has Danish Fifties furniture mixed with ethnic pieces, plus the monkey-paintings. Up the stairs is her family room...
...this looks like the set of a Duran Duran video from 1984...
I do kinda like her "three dimensional wall-sculpture" which is another way of saying "recycling used CDs". Plus, I swear to you, I have seen that exact same wallpaper in the rooms at the Sands Regency Hotel and Casino in Reno, Nevada. Moving on over to the dining room...
...it's very "Where The Wild Things Are"...
Ondine is particularly proud of the 1960's-inspired brass chandelier. I actually like that, too, but if it were my dining room I'd probably add my own touch to it...
...now it's very "Where The Gay Things Are"...
Making their way into Ondine's master bedroom we are in for a treat...
...crappy curtains...
I thought she had access to a seamstress! Still, her carpenter did actually make her a really cool headboard to the bed that has all these mirrors set at strange angles, which looks pretty cool...
...but it'd be no good for watching yourself have sex... unless you have a Picasso fetish...
Jonathan Adler's comment on this room? "Mee-OW!" Honey, wait until you see her "Little Girl's Room"...
...he'll change that to just plain "OW!"...
It looks like a gay McDonald's Playland! I didn't think that pink and red and yellow got along so well as colors, and really, they don't (except at the circus). India asks if the carpenters built the entire daybed, and Ondine relates that they did both that and the master bed, and starts playing The Blame Game by saying she bit off more than her carpenters could chew. I'm guessing the carpenters would have some advice on what Ondine could bite...
Lastly we have Ondine's Study-Slash-Magic-Eye-Salt'N'Pepa-Guest-Room, which we saw last week and she really didn't change much here...
...except for adding that uggo black drape...
All in all, it's not bad. I like some of the things she did, but I kinda think some of her juxtapositioning of styles is rather jarring. Then again, there's a lot about Ondine that is rather jarring.
The judges mosey on over to Prettyboy Preston's Place, starting with the living room...
...recognize the coffee table sans gold-lamé antlers?...
Yes, Preston changed around quite a lot of things. They move on to his "lounge" area off of the kitchen...
...where even more stuffed zebras were slaughtered...
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Comments (15)
THANKS J-MO! Great recap as always, and worth waiting for. While watching the show I though of you - I thought you would use the shot of Ondine coming down the stairs looking like a bag-lady for a screencap - it was a great LOL moment. Anyway, thanks for a great season of awesome recaps - you made the show worth watching!
1 of 15 | Posted by njgasmifan | Posted on November 13, 2008 12:50 PM
J-mo you world traveler you!!! Good luck at the drag show, which I'm surprised to hear is in Texas . . . but refreshing, things must be changing since Louise was in those parts (it wasn't Thelma, right?!)
Anyhoo, kisses, huggies and a new box of sex towels to go in your new night table!!!! teehee!
I still find it hard to judge interiors, Nathan's coffin room was wonk, I didn't see 2 things that went together, esp. not the 2 paintings. I liked his entry room best. Ondine, guess I liked the sofa's but I will never, never, never have animal print in my home, and faux animal print with faux simulated tail is too macabre for words, yeeech!!!! Preston's office was great, and I loved that painting!!!! He had the most good stuff if you ask me and 4 thousand online voters, but I wasn't too concerned about who wins.
Ondine, hm, girl, listen to J-mo, treat yourself to a hot oil treatment, a cellophane, a mud bath and a tub of moisturizer, and lay off on the carpenters . . . they be hatin' on you!
I miss you already, J-mo, but I'm sure we'll cross paths in the comments of some of our favorite trashy shows!!!!
XOXOXOXO
2 of 15 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on November 13, 2008 2:37 PM
Anyone else think this show just kind of fizzled out from week to week?
I have to say, I wouldn't want to live in any of those houses. Although I did like Natan's portrait wall, pretty cool look to it.
Thanks for the recaps J-Mo, each one was like reading a mini-Moby Dick.
3 of 15 | Posted by itchy | Posted on November 13, 2008 2:52 PM
Nathan's house was alright, but I didn't think he should win. In fact, I liked both of the other houses better. My ranking would have been Preston, Ondine, and then Nathan. That entrance hall was a total waste of space. Let me tell you, back when I was in the US, I lived in a very similarly shaped townhouse. There is NO WAY someone would waste a room like that. You just don't have enough space to do that.
Oh yeah... and Eddie is a douchenozzle. Or as I had started to refer to him, Eddie the Earl of KnockingCock.
4 of 15 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on November 13, 2008 3:04 PM
J-Mo,
I'll miss you, too, even though I just discovered your great recaps yesterday. I hope you will return soon to recap other shows.
.
I liked Season One of Top Design much better than Season Two. In some ways I can understand why so many of the challenges at the beginning were group assignments. However, I liked how Season One was constructed. I think there were more individual challenges, and to me all the challenges were more meaty.
.
I lost interest at the beginning of this Season because the initial challenges were bland to me and I found it difficult to differentiate why some were better than others. However, I am not design-oriented; I'm a rube in that arena. It could just be me.
.
J-Mo's recaps enlightened me to the nuances and made the last two episodes (which I had on the DVR) a much-improved time.
.
And...I have those cat-hair covered undie hills in the bedroom: it's frightening. My mother was a wanna-be interior designer. Further, nothing was ever out-of-place, cluttered, dusty or water-spotted in our home. And I live...about an inch and a half from squalor most of the time. Ah, well.
.
Hope to read more from all of you soon!
5 of 15 | Posted by bexcal | Posted on November 13, 2008 8:03 PM
J-MO, missed you so.
Your recaps just amaze me and you will be missed.
I agree with bexcal, liked season one better because there were more individual challenges. I don't know who should have won. Come on, paper plates & chicken wire chandelier? Looks like he also had paper snowflake cutouts on the wall in the foyer. I thought he didn't want to be known as the guy who slaps paper plates on a wall.
Ondine's looked the most designed to me. Preston's was just too neat for my taste, and Nathan's looked the most livable.
BTW-we had that store brand mac & cheese for dinner the other night and the whole time I was making it, I was saying, "Is it supposed to look like this?" Get a Dyson for the kitty hair, it works great. (sorry for rambling, I'll have to change my moniker to flightygal.)
Thanks for a wonderful season of recaps. Looking forward to your next endeavor.
6 of 15 | Posted by shantigal | Posted on November 13, 2008 9:36 PM
I am going to have to go thirds on the Season 1 love. But I'm going for a different reason: It was just fun to watch Carisa (the Eddie of season 1) go down in flames in the finale, and knowing that she would made all the more sweet. But, does anyone know what happened to Gay Dad (the recap name of the winner of Season 1?) I wonder if there will be an update on him and what has happened with his career. I'm going to assume
nothing, as there has been no update. LOL.
J-Mo, drag shows, a BF, and the new thought of hanging cum towels from your bed post... I want to be in your world .... I'm jealous (or, maybe, I just want to join in!) LOL. What are you recapping next?
7 of 15 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on November 14, 2008 5:05 AM
J-Mo - great recap, as always! I hope you had fun in Vegas! Even if we had to wait a bit, it was well worth it. I'm going to miss reading your funny, informative, and off-the-wall recaps each week.
Hooray for a final PrettyBoy pec pic! I'm going to miss those too-few shots of his bod! *sniff* Oh, to be the cameraman in the Rover in your screenshot - move that jacket or whatever it is he's holding over his crotch! Yum-O!
I thought it was hilarious when Andrea thought that she could have done well at this final challenge. When she couldn't do well at ANY of the other challenges. I think we need a new name for that Bitch - AndreaQueenOfDenialSilverSpoonRicksterBitch.
SexOndineCity's stuff was OK, but I certainly wasn't blown away. And that horrible kid's room would have kept me awake it was so LOUD!
Nathan had some things that I liked as well, even the Mr Chubbles painting turned out way better than I thought it would, and horizontally it looked way cooler than vertically. LOVED the Sloppy Joe Night comment on the "chandy" - that thing was FUGLY. My personal TrickWall looks way better than his (well, except for that ONE skanky mistake)! At least the ones who were assholes were kinda nice-looking.
I think Preston has pretty good taste (and probably tastes pretty good, too) but not all of it is my style. He is a little too refined for my style of relaxation when I get home. I like a comfy place that looks good, but it doesn't have to be perfect. Then again, I can't afford what he probably can (in real life). But I did feel cheated that he didn't win! I think his chest deserves to be rated TopDesign! Hopefully we'll see more of him in the future.
What amazes me is that they spent what, $85K on designing these places? For that amount I KNOW I could have bought all the furniture and furnishings needed to make it look very nice (while being comfortable) and had a little left over to buy all professional gourmet appliances for the kitchen AND a $35,000 car! Pricey shit doesn't necessarily mean it look goods or feels comfortable.
I've really enjoyed your recaps this season - you have the bestest humor! I've spit out more Diet Dr. Pepper reading your stuff!! Every week I have to reach for at least one quicker-picker-upper!
Enjoy your "rest" and let us know what you are recapping next!
Lots O' Love
8 of 15 | Posted by arizonatom | Posted on November 14, 2008 3:47 PM
J-MO - I love you! You made this show for me. Please, please re-cap more. You were dead on with Eddie delusion self-importance. And Kelly's outfits are just begging to be called out. Excellent job on that! BTW can I live in your world too? Anyone open enough to disclose a pile of dirty underware covered in cat hair instantly wins me over. Well, I'm easy, and I'm not talking about college, but I digress. Love you, love the re-caps!
9 of 15 | Posted by oldmomoftoddlerboys | Posted on November 14, 2008 6:21 PM
JMo Darling,
I can't believe you went to vegas without me! Oh, well, I forgive you, and to prove it I've left a present for you and the boyfriend at the end of the UF recap.
BTW hate, hate, hate Kelly's chicken legs and Nathan's chandelier, but as always love your recaps : )
hugs,
Yenta
10 of 15 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on November 15, 2008 12:50 PM
I thought for sure Preston would win. Oh well. Nathan's Mr. Chubbles painting was awesome. I was thinking the whole time, even I could do that. And I could refrain from throwing poo much better than Mr. Chubbles.
J-Mo, your hilarious recaps will be missed! Bravo really should invent another show for you to do.
11 of 15 | Posted by shelleyh | Posted on November 17, 2008 1:46 PM
Boo hoo hoooooo... Come back soon, J-Mo! Thank God Top Chef and Flipit will make sure I don't go into a double Bravo-TVGasm withdrawal seizure, but I'll really miss your point of view. Hey, maybe you can recap some of those drag queen beauty pageants for us. They must not be short on drama, laughs and big personalities, right?
12 of 15 | Posted by sayhuh | Posted on November 17, 2008 3:37 PM
I'm sad that the season is over because I'll miss you J-Mo. I always love your recaps.
As for the show, I think if Jeff Lewis stayed instead of Kelly Worstdressed coming back the result would have been different (correct). She seems to have the same "style" as Nathan where you just throw a lot of kooky things into a room and call it art (Oh my God, there's a pile of dirty laundry on that shelf, how kitch).
13 of 15 | Posted by DrJerkass | Posted on November 18, 2008 8:32 AM
all those houses were just awful. preston should have won because his bedroom was amazing. he was the best of the three bad designers.
14 of 15 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on November 19, 2008 9:25 AM
njgasmifan... you're right, I almost did use that shot of Ondine being the bag-lady, but in the end I decided that the picture culled by the show of her sitting in the chair in the garage looking a hot mess might work better. Thank you so much for the kind compliments, I'm glad you enjoyed the show and the recaps together!...
juddfan... Ha ha ha, I dunno about "world traveler" (although Texas did seem like it was on it's own planet)... you would be surprised at how active Texas gays are in the whole drag world, they are some of the fiercest queens out there! I will miss you too, but you're right, we will be commenting back and forth elsewhere, I'm sure... thanks for all your positive encouragement!
itchy... thank you! That's such a sweet compliment... and you know I'm down with anything having "Dick" in the title, LOL! I appreciate your patience... :)
Snootchy Bootches... STILL love your nick! I agree with your rankings, and also that only the insanely rich would consider any part of their home unnecessary space for living (kinda how anorexics feel about the kitchens in their own homes)... either way, it's not healthy. And "Earl Of KnockingCock" is just LOVELY! Thanks!
bexcal... you give me too much credit, I know zilch about interior design, but I can zero in on details like nobody's bidness, that's how come I can make it sound like I might actually know what I'm talking about, but truthfully, I'm just B.S.ing my way through. I am very happy you enjoyed the recaps, even if you found them late in the game, and you might be right, Season One might have had more oomph. Thanks!
shantigal... thank you so much for the kudos, you're a sweetie... and yes, store-brand mac & cheese actually is pink, and the "cheese grit" never smooths itself out... it's Kraft in my house or nothing! LOL!
slutty_whore... I love YOUR nick, too! Thank you for the kind words... as of right now I'm actually taking a small break until something good comes along, but when it does, I will be back again to talk shit about reality TV people (it may be even before the end of the year!)...
arizonatom... gosh, are you campaigning to replace my BF?? LOL, good thing he's not jealous or a sociopath or anything, cuz you sure are sweet like candy to me. Thank you for all the lovely warm fuzzies!
oldmomoftoddlerboys... well, shucks, honey, I love you, too! I'm glad you liked hearing about Undie Hill (plus allergens and cat dander!) I'm just that kind of guy with a great big mouth (via my speedy fingers) and low-pretenses... I will be back again, keep your eyeies open!...
yentapatrol... thanks for the eye-candy at the end of your fabulous UF recap, you're right, my BF did enjoy it immensely (for me, tho, Pres and slender muscleboys are only a minor attraction, you know I'd prefer to see the Big Daddies and John Goodmans of the world to be shirtless more often... I'm weird like that). Thank you for all the comments!
shelleyh... Awww, THANK you! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that something good will come along, I LOVE me some Bravo shows!...
sayhuh... Ai, pobrecito, no lloras por mi Señorita! I'm only taking a break, I'm not leaving for good... and if you check my personal blog in about a week you will find a semi-recap of the drag pageant (along with pictures!)... I am glad you enjoyed this season, too!
DrJerkass... You are too kind, I will miss writing for this silly show, but thank you for all your commentary!
reckless_saturn_11... I think you might be right... thanks for chiming in!
All of you guys (and all the other Gasmii who have commented this season) have really made me feel so loved, it's a really sweet feeling, and I absolutely LIVED for all your observations and comments and opinions... I will do my best to find a good show and Flipit has promised I can come back and carry on again (Thanks, Flip, for taking a chance on an unknown queen). You guys are all the best, and I'm humbled by your generosity and proud to be associated with this site... Viva TVGasm!!!!
love, J-Mo :)
15 of 15 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on November 21, 2008 11:24 AM