LLL also says Billy is "SO not her type." What, you mean, old? And with (crinkles nose cutely) MORALS? Church n' stuff? I bet Church is a code word for coke dealer, Idaho style! Man-ique dares LLL to give Senior Billy-pants a lap dance. Of course, Billy and LLL politely cringe and then some grotesquerie ensues.
Bridging the generation gap.
Of course, Chelsea looks on in disgust. Yeah, Chelsea. You should totally be passing judgement. EVERYBODY likes you.
What's not to like?
Then Ray gets dared to streak. Ray likes to streak. Ray's sober. Ray likes to talk about himself in the 3rd person. Everyone squeals. Come on, let's see some more misguided attractions. Or, like some back acne (bacne). Chelsea?
After the break, Nessie puts on a smock and talks beauty. As in, who had the best action shot.
I been' finger paintin.' GUFFAW GUFFAW.
In terms of the Red "Jock," team, Billy looked intense, LLL looked like a cute little tennis fairy, Paggie looked like she just sucked off the other volleyball team (Nole: VERY Bettie Paige) and Encino Man looked like he was about to murder someone with his KILLER ABS! Get it? I'm awesome.
The "nerd team all looked like they were taking a collective dump on sports. Chelsea and Man-ique's faces were obscured (I'm confused- doesn't that improve the shot), Ray looked like he was shitting himself, and CJ looked semi-comatose (wah, wah, my poor foot. Yawn).
In the end, CJ and Man-ique are up for elimination. CJ says something dumb like "we both did out best." and Man-ique starts to mutter and blubber something about "failure," and "pre-op."
I just want to be a woman! Uh, I mean, please don't send me home.
Man-ique shits on Chelsea's picture as she pouts and gets her shit packed for the hall of beauty. CJ talks about how he wants to "win this" for people who don't think they're attractive enough. Really? how does he plan on making people feel better about themselves by being a competition that he thinks is based solely upon looks and communication of these looks thereof? Ugh.
in the top secret spy room, Nole, Cheryl and Nessie talk about how CJ helped the wardrobe actress and Man-ique didn't. Still, I'm sure NONE of them, in the same situation, would've done SHIT. Okay, Nessie might've called her boyfriend to come over and punch the wardrobe lady out, or sing to her, which is just as bad.
CJ admits he didn't do the best job in terms of "Team Captain," "being not lame" and "morale." He heads out all suited up (taking the note from last elimination) for the ceremony.
The final straw is this: Fat man. Empty water bottle. Upperhand throw. Trash can. You do the math. Do the beauties pick up the bottle and throw it away? I actually found more pleasure in watching the ridiculous actor chuck a big bottle of backwash at a garbage can. Man-ique- doesn't notice! Wha? Who doesn't notice a two liter bottle spraying half of hollywood with hot cheeto smelling backwash?
We don't get to see CJ's reaction till after the elimination....
Nessie asks Man-ique why she should stay. She promptly starts crying. Perfect!
Showcase...myself...sniffle...cupcake...spray tan....
Man-ique totally wants it over CJ. CJ gets asked the same question, and gives the same old preachy spiel about spreading the "lesson" that beauty is on the inside. Really? I'm wondering how CJ plans to teach that lesson, and if he really believed it, why isn't he sixty pounds heavier and content eating ho ho's for breakfast. Ugh, all these people are despicable, especially CJ- I can't stand his preachy BLATHER!
(insert egotistical Barista joke here)
And why is Nole so impressed that CJ is wearing a suit? Jesus. You could put a suit on my cat and it'd have a higher IQ than CJ.
And with better penmanship.
God, I love that photo. Anyhoo, Man-ique goes home. Now who will fill the house with testosterone? Man-ique finally takes responsibility for being lame, cries some more, says thanks, cries more, and leaves.
How hard they fall...
I'm not quite sure about the "jump on the bandwagon" make fun of people argument, considering it seemed like Man-ique was the only one doing it. Oh well. Trash men?
Thanks, Tyra.
Until next week, Babycakes!
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Comments (8)
I have a really sick sense of humor, because the look on Man-ique's face while watching the film of herself belching was PRICELESS!
I keep saying I'm not gonna watch anymore of these empty-headed idiots, but I'm totally sucked in.
I almost think CJ's a plant. Yes, a philodendron.
1 of 8 | Posted by scottywrangler | Posted on January 24, 2009 7:18 AM
thanks for the laughs Monamonzano. this show really blows. it's also kind of obvious that Ray and CJ got some kind of a heads up about the "inner beauty" angle. how about LLL coming up with a spur of the moment idea for a toga party and amazingly production just happened to be down stairs laying out a table with grapes and goblets! they must have hired Miss Cleo as head of production since she got out of the hoosegow. she's probably good friends with tyra and that's how she got the job.
2 of 8 | Posted by soapboxx | Posted on January 24, 2009 11:31 AM
I'm a bit curious about your sex life at the moment. All the comments on blowing and jacking off. Then I realized..it's par for the course. See soapboxx's comment : "really blows" "heads up" "LLL coming" "hoosegow!!" Thanks for the recap.
3 of 8 | Posted by tadow | Posted on January 24, 2009 11:51 AM
ScottyWrangler: Totally right about Man-ique's face....and I especially liked how she globbed on a ton more fake tanner for the elimination ceremony. and CJ IS philodendron! HAHAHA!
soapboxx: yes! It was LLL's idea. Suure. I'll bet all the PA's visit Ralph's and party supply stores and curse the dumb notion that a "theme" party was even necessary for these people.
tadow: Thanks for reading! Sex is always on my mind. Penis. Vagina. Always.
Sorry so short this week, guys!
4 of 8 | Posted by Monamonzano | Posted on January 24, 2009 5:14 PM
tadow..."hoosegow" means jail or prison. It has nothing to do (directly) with sex.
5 of 8 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on January 25, 2009 8:58 AM
This show is the equivalent of one of those souvenir snow domes -- you know nothing's going to happen, but you just can't help shaking it and watch the snow swirl around.
6 of 8 | Posted by itchy | Posted on January 25, 2009 11:28 AM
I know that silly, was just having fun :)
7 of 8 | Posted by tadow | Posted on January 26, 2009 4:04 AM
Well, here's one show I'm missing due to my lack of TV at the moment, but thanks for keeping me abreast, Mona!!! Tadow, I can assure you, I ain't gettin' none, and I am always dropping the sex heavy vocab around, sometimes it's embarrassing!!! It blows my mind!!!
8 of 8 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on January 26, 2009 11:37 AM