Arlene comments on how Sam's a lot more likeable when he's not being a complete a-hole, but in Sam's defense, he hasn't been turned into a dog tonight, so maybe he's normally not that bad. The scene ends with Sam looking at pictures over the bar and pining over a picture of Sookie whom he's always had kind of a crush on and him making a semi-sad panda face.
Over at Bill's Jess is literally crawling out of her hole. She's kind of disappointed that nobody is around and wanders around the house for awhile. Hmmm, what is a young vampire to do?
Well in this case, Jess gets all dolled up and heads over to Merlott's. She looks pretty good, but seeing as she's wearing the same dress as she was the night before and apparently wore it while sleeping in a hole under a house, you have to wonder about the funk she's giving off. Then again, Eric was wearing the same track suit from the day before, and seeing as Bill pretty much only owns one set of clothes, I'm really starting to hope vampires buy Febreze in bulk.
Jess is walking through the bar with every guy checking her out and it looks like she can have her pick of the men in the place, so she sits down by, Hoyt? Don't get me wrong, Hoyt is probably the sweetest character on this show, and he's a super nice guy, but honestly, Hoyt??
Hoyt comes over and starts to talk, and oh boy, it becomes pretty obvious pretty fast that he and Jason are not only best friends but have the same room temperature IQ. Hoyt tells her she has a pretty smile, which is a good start, but then launches into a rambling restaurant review of Merlotte's where he ends up describing the chicken fried steak as a crispy fried baby.
Jess likes Hoyt (Hoyt? Really, Hoyt??), so she just orders a bottle of True Blood. After a moment where we can literally hear the gears grinding in Hoyt's head, he asks Jess if she is a vampire, "for real." Jess is like 'fraid so," and Hoyt thinks this is awesome because who doesn't want a girlfriend who looks at the vein in your neck like a chicken fried steak? Anyway, Hoyt heads off to get Jess a bottle of synthetic Japanese blood, and a chicken fried steak for me, because it really did sound good.
Sookie and Bill are in Eric's office and Eric lays out his offer. He'll let Lafayette go if Sookie will go to Dallas to help look for the missing vampire. Bill doesn't want Sookie going to Texas because it's too dangerous. Really Bill? I wonder what the stats on minotaur attacks in Texas look like?
Sookie doesn't seem too worried either, because she tells Eric she wants five grand and for him to let "La-FI-ette" go. Eric makes a witty little comeback, and Bill says Sookie wants 10 thousand dollars, for Bill to go with her, and to let Lafayette go.
Eric ends up agreeing and Pam brings Lafayette up from the basement. Eric comes over before Lafayette leaves, and tells him they will see each other soon. Lafayette tries to let him down easy and tell him this was more of a Rosie Cruise you can lock me up in your basement for two weeks, shoot me, and maybe suck my blood, but we're really probably not going to see each other once we clear the airport type deal. Eric doesn't seem to be getting the message and what makes this scene extra creepy is that when Eric is making Lafayette squirm, it's pretty much the happiest we've seen him on the show.
Over at Maryann's the party is really kicking into gear. It has to be the centerpiece on her entry table. It's like Martha Stewart always says, if you want to get people drinking, dancing and dry humping each other, you can't go wrong with a good centerpiece.
Judging by the number of girls taking their tops off, Maryann must have a kickass centerpiece for this shindig. Everyone is dancing, drinking and eating up that big pot of whatever the creepy butler type guy was cooking up earlier. Tara and Eggo are in the hot tub now, and Tara notices that Andy Bellefleur has shown up at the party.
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Comments (6)
Awesome! I just started watching this show last night, finally, and I'm so happy to see you recapping it here! I haven't even finished the recap yet, but this cracked me up:
"He would have asked Sookie, Tara, Lafayette, Arlene, and the coat rack by the front door, but they've all fallen through for not being around because they got mauled by a minotaur, living with a witch who can turn Sam into a dog, being held hostage by vampires or possibly being turned into a vampire, still getting over the fact they got engaged to a serial murderer at Red Lobster, and/or being an inanimate object."
Ha! Now, other than the bit about Arlene, which I don't get because I don't think I've met her yet since I've only watched 2 eps, that just cracked me up!
Oh, and I think juniper berries are used to make gin or some other type of alcohol, not bouillabaisse (sp?). Then again, you may have already addressed this in your recap but I'm only on page 3.
Off to read some more! Thanks for recapping this.
1 of 6 | Posted by zbird | Posted on July 4, 2009 8:36 AM
Well, I wondered when they were going to make Daphne interesting.
I'm just so happy that you're doing this recap. I like getting other people's opinions of what the f*ck is going on! For such a silly little show, you're right, there's some pretty dang good acting going on.
Thanks again!
2 of 6 | Posted by lirpa | Posted on July 4, 2009 2:51 PM
I love your recaps, Waffleboy. I admit, somewhat sheepishly, that I totally love this show. I was wondering about the juniper as well, but then I started wondering if maybe the thing they were cooking up was the heart of that poor sham of an exorcist lady.
Thanks for reminding me that I'm stuck recapping Rock of Love spin-offs, by the way. Jerk. ;)
3 of 6 | Posted by TheMiki | Posted on July 5, 2009 4:28 PM
Um, I love you Waffleboy, but if you're going to tease us with description of a naked fat guy (whose doodle is almost visible) then I think a screencap of said naked fat guy would be in order. I'm just saying, cheap tawdry thrills are my life.
Great recap, though, and I loved the "Your underwear is on backwards, again." Beauty!
love, J-Mo :)
4 of 6 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on July 6, 2009 12:53 PM
Great job! I am quickly becoming obsessed with this show, and will be sure to keep following your hilarious recaps.
I agree the show's premise could be horribly cheesy if not for the GREAT acting that elevates it above crap like 'Twilight'. Anna Paquin is awesome as always, although I sometimes find Sookie annoying (why would you act so "sassy" around monsters who want to eat you?) Nelsan Ellis should seriously win something for his characterization of Lafayette. The scene where he goes home alone after being being kidnapped is heartbreaking in the way he portrays a tough, badass character so vulnerable and traumatized. The actors who play Jason and Eric are also fantastic. I tune in every week not because the writing is great (it's kind of silly at times) but because the characters are interesting and I want to know more about their backstories.
I do agree some of the 'gore' scenes are BEYOND disgusting - specifically when Eric attacks the guy in the basement, and Sookie gets surgery for the minotaur wounds. I'm hardly the squeamish type but I nearly lost my lunch both times!
5 of 6 | Posted by spinal11 | Posted on July 7, 2009 12:10 PM
Hi everyone, thanks for all the comments
zbird, welcome aboard to what is quite possibly the best vampire show with minotaur attacks and shapeshifting on Sunday nights. Oh, Arlene is a waitress at Merlotte's, who was engaged to Rene last season who ended up killing everyone Jason had sex with. Man, the plot on this show is just so straightforward, huh?
lirpa, your very welcome and thanks for giving me a place to spout off every week. Yeah Daphene is finally getting interesting. I mean aside for being the world's worst waitress to have ever worked at Cracker Barrel.
TheMiki, wow awesome guess for what Maryann was serving up in that pot at the party. I like the way you think.
Oh and just so you know I wasn't belittling anyone who does Rock of Love spinoff recaps. You do a much better job then I ever could. If I was recaping Daisy Of Love, every week would be the same post. Stupid people got drunk. The End.
J-Mo, sorry I left you hanging buddy, but this particular fat guy was about 30 pounds overweight, carrying it all in his gut on top of a pair of spindly legs. He kind of looked like a human comma, not the big boned husky boys who normally turn your head so I didn't think about getting a picture for you. It won't happen again buddy. ;)
spinal11, thanks for that great description of Lafayette coming home. It was a great scene and some of the best acting I've seen on this show. Oh, and I'm looking forward to see what happens to Lafayette this week, seeing as Eric was at his front door in the trailer for the next episode.
Anyway, thanks to everyone for your great comments and we'll talk soon.
6 of 6 | Posted by waffleboy09 | Posted on July 9, 2009 5:53 AM