Well we are coming down to the wire on this season of True Blood and the last episode did not disappoint in moving the story forward. So make the jump and let's talk about the things that need to be talked about. Like vampire pool parties, is eating an egg you laid yourself while you were turned into a chicken, natural or just plain weird? How Eric can almost pull off wearing a blue housedress, and big ass eggs.
(Sorry for the delay on this episode's post. Mainly it was due to my computer actually having a worse work ethic then yours truly, and did I mention I was carried away by a big bird and it took a long time to get home? No? Are you buying it? No?? Then forget I mentioned it, okay? Anyway thanks for your patience.)
Our episode starts right where the last one left off; with a shot of a foot with Heinz 57 dripping down it. I mean blood, although come to think of it there isn't really a good reason for either of those things to be dripping down from your foot.
The camera pans up and there is a lady vampire chowing down on some girl's leg. Well either that or I'm watching some really cheesy soft core cable porn. Just a second, [Waffleboy checks the channel], nope, I'm not watching Cinamax, so it must be a lady vampire working in a late night snack.
The camera pans up, and hey it is a lady vampire getting in a late night snack, or seeing as they only come out at night, brunch? Okay I'm not going to think about that particular question right now, because thinking defeats the whole purpose of watching TV in the first place, and that would make my cable bill a complete and total waste of money.
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The lady vampire looks up and asks Bill if he wants to go family style on the young girl she is using as a Slurpee. Bill politely declines and looks very uncomfortable. Play to your strengths Billy, play to your strengths. We then cut to the opening credits.
After the opening credits (which are still fun to watch even 11 weeks into this show), we cut back to what's going on over Bill's house. Hoyt is pulling Jess off of his mom and is pretty upset that his best girl just essentially tried to shotgun all of his momma's blood. Jess points out that Momma Hoyt is about 240 pounds of Insert-Your-Own-Favorite-Profanity-Here, and was saying terrible things about her and Hoyt. Hoyt points out that she's his momma, so she gets to say stuff like that.
Hoyt doesn't point out that if he and Jess were ever to get married as his momma, Momma Hoyt also has the right come over to their house whenever she felt like it and make snide comments about Jess's housekeeping abilities. The good news is Jess would then have the option to deny sex to Hoyt, and Hoyt would have the right to get totally over-involved in his fantasy football team. Hey, it works for all my married friends; it would work Hoyt and Jess. Marriage, you can't beat it, and did I mention if you act now your friends will buy you four electric woks you don't really need because they were on sale and they are too f-ing lazy to go online and check your bridal registry?
Wait, what the hell was I talking about? Electric woks? Before that. Fantasy football? Before that? Women denying sex to their husbands because their mother-in-laws treat them like poop? Keep going. Oh right, True Blood! You know, I don't care what your mother-in-law says about how often you clean your windows, you're the bestest!
Hoyt pulls Momma Hoyt, who actually liked getting bit, out of the house and tells Jess he should have listened to Vampire Bill when he warned Hoyt about her. Jess gets pretty worked up by this and when the door closes she screams super duper loud and squirts a little blood of her eyes.
Sadly, this is all we get to see of Jess this week, which is too bad, because I was kind of interested in seeing what is the vampire equivalent of polishing off a quart of Rocky Road ice cream when you have a blowout with your boyfriend. Oh well, moving on.
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Comments (4)
You could call her not-Dita. *grin* Though I do have to admit that she did a better job than I expected.
Great recap! This is the first of the TB recaps I have read as I normally don't read the drama series ones, but this was good and funny. :)
1 of 4 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on September 8, 2009 3:56 AM
I thought Evan Rachel Wood's acting was stilted and forced. What is it with these young actresses (like Lindsay Lohan) that they're far more believable and likable when they're younger? But then again, maybe I'm just jealous 'cause Evan Rachel Wood is dating Alexander Skarsgård.
2 of 4 | Posted by hisroyalhighness | Posted on September 8, 2009 2:31 PM
I agree HRH. I thought she was cheesy, like Acting 101. Here's to hoping she gets better though...I think she's in for at least part of next season. I am jealous about her and Askars too...what a yummy man!
3 of 4 | Posted by Yanksfan24 | Posted on September 9, 2009 7:16 AM
I. DON'T. WANT. To be this person. The person that can't stop comparing the movie/tv version to the book or original. Because I have never had pause to do so with True Blood. I have throughly enjoyed what they have done with the tv version and the aspects they have taken from the book series. BUT- the HBO version of the queen of Louisiana is just so lacking in comparison to the book version and it is just the acting. The book Queen is just so much more refined, mysterious, regal, and creativity and intelligently crafted. The HBO queen just seems so one note and bland. Alright that is enough about that. I have geeked out enough already and I can't let it go and see where the show takes us.
And just sometimes Eric looks like Jim Carey from Dumb & Dumber. Could that stop happening because it just screws with his whole character.
4 of 4 | Posted by reckless_saturn_11 | Posted on September 9, 2009 12:18 PM