Hey Gasmi, well this is it, the season finale of True Blood. We're coming down to the wire and we could spend a lot of time going over whether Maryann can be stopped from doing, well what ever the hell she's doing, whether Jason and Andy are America's new cutest couple, whether Jess and Hoyt can get past her trying to eat his momma, and whether Hoyt is maybe thinking of giving Jess another chance to do the chug a lug on said momma. Oh and whether it's appropriate for a post-post-post-post-post menopausal woman to wear white to her wedding to a big pile meat. So come guys. We've come this far let's make the jump and get to the good stuff.
Our episode starts right where the last one left off. Sookie is losing her poop after seeing Lafayette has come down with a major case of the poopeye. Actually we see Sookie doing the aforementioned poop losing through Lafayette's poop eyes. It's all kind of wavy and blurry the way the Playboy channel used to look when it was scrambled on cable back in the olden days. What's that? Why yes I've got astigmatism, just what are driving at?
Meanwhile Tara and Eggo are doing all sorts of freaky stuff with the egg. Yeah, you remember that big assed egg from last week? Well it's still around, and it's still weird. Lafayette tells Tara and Eggo they need the egg downstairs and they exit stage left.
Sookie decides this would be a great time to get Lafayette de-poopeyed. The only problem is Sookie's super powers have slid back into the pretty much completely useless mode and Lafayette's Coraline eyes stay firmly in place.
Not only that but Lafayette tells Sookie to strip which is kind of creepy. Sookie peels down to her bra and panties and Lafayette pulls out this thing that looks like a slip and tells Sook to put it on. Hey, it's a makeover! Oh if only Lafayette had gotten poopeyed during Episode 3 a lot of questionable fashion choices could have been avoided. After Lafayette gets Sookie into her kicky new outfit he drags her downstairs.
When Sookie gets down into her living room she finds Maryann in Sookie's meemaw's wedding dress and then the poopeye hits the fan. As we all know by know Sookie doesn't like anyone screwing around with her meemaw's stuff unless Sookie has given it to them instead of going down to Target and springing for a real birthday present. It doesn't help that Maryann drops the "well it's not like you were ever going to wear it" into the conversation. Oh burn!
Sookie is super pissed and wants to know why Maryann has taken her. Well Sookie I hate to break it to you, but the reason you are Maryann's prisoner is because you came to her house. If you've got a problem with this situation, I'd take it up with Alan Ball, the guy who wrote last week's script.
Besides, Maryann tells Sookie she hasn't been taken, she's just borrowed. It's all part of the something new, something old, something borrowed, something blue theme of Maryann's wedding. In an awesome bit Arlene asks which one she is, and Maryann just smiles sweetly at her not saying a word.
Sookie pulls her standard bit when taken prisoner by the bad guys. She starts acting like a complete bitch and gets a look on her face like someone smeared poop on her upper lip. Maryann has the rest of her bridesmaids leave so she and Sookie can have a little heart to heart.
When everyone clears out Maryann tells Sookie to hit her with her best shot. Maryann is looking for Sookie to lay a little of the flashlight hands on her. The only problem is Sookie can't do it. Performance anxiety? Don't worry about Sookie, it happens to everyone. Well not to me. Often. Lately. Hey who wants to talk TV?
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Comments (5)
Awesome recap!
1 of 5 | Posted by ridonk | Posted on September 18, 2009 11:21 AM
Great recap - good job this season.
I'm glad the maedad story line is over - it dragged on too long and frankly the ending was a bit ridiculous. Here's to hoping next season has lots of vampire-on-human sex (preferably featuring Eric, lots and lots of Eric) and more cool plot twists.
2 of 5 | Posted by Hisroyalhighness | Posted on September 18, 2009 1:17 PM
Another awesome recap! And thanks for the shout out. :)
Are you going to be doing another show now?
3 of 5 | Posted by Snootchy Bootches | Posted on September 18, 2009 1:21 PM
Waffleboy, I must commend you on your sweet stickiness and overall awesomeness with this show. It's actually made me start bugging the BF to consider putting pay cable channels in our budget! Seriously, great job, I'm so glad you joined the dark side, and I can't wait to see what show you're going to tackle next.
love, hugs & kissy-smoochies (with teefs!)...
J-Mo :)
4 of 5 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 21, 2009 9:36 AM
Hi everyone,
ridonk, thank you and awesome comment!
Hisroyalhighness, yeah the maenad bit was kind of silly, but Michelle Forbes was one of the best things on the show this year and that kind of made up for it. I'm pretty sure the producers know where their bread is buttered so we'll get plenty of vampire human sexin' next year. Thanks for all the comments!
Snootchy Bootches, it looks like I'm going to be doing recaps on Dollhouse a show over on Fox. Oh and Flipit talked me into recapping the Emmys so that should be showing up soon too.
J-Mo, you pheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-nominal human being you! Always glad to hear you like what I'm putting out there. One suggestion, before you and the BF start springing for pay cable, maybe rent the first season DVD and make sure you like what you're getting into. I think you will but it's always good to check.
Thanks again guys, ya'll are the bestest!
5 of 5 | Posted by waffleboy09 | Posted on September 22, 2009 12:03 AM