They say you can never go home again. We'll if there is a restraining order in place or your sense of direction sucks monkey balls this might be true, but it's not on True Blood so Sookie, Bill, and Jason are coming home, Yay! Look I could tell you about the poopeyes running wild, the improper use of condiments in freaky freaky bar orgies, and when it might be okay to chow down on your boyfriend's pain in the butt momma like she was a bucket of extra crispy KFC, and all the other stuff that happened this week, but do you really want to read a five foot paragraph? I didn't think so, so make the jump, and we'll see you on the other side.
Our episode starts with Sookie walking down the halls of the Hotel de Blood Sucker. She heads down to Eric's room to tell him that Godric has done his poof and be gone act, and finds Eric morning in the traditional Viking way. I mean when Vikings were sad they always stripped down to their birthday suits and spritzed A-1 sauce all over their face and chest, right?
Oh wait, that's not steak sauce, it's blood. Eric's been seriously boo-hooing in his hotel suite, which makes sense because he and Godric were as close to family as vampires get. As to why he's not wearing any clothes, my guess is it's because he's Scandinavian and according to all those magazines in my sock drawer those people do everything naked. Either that or somebody at HBO is trying to give me a little extra nudity for my 12 bucks a month, and I all I can say is God bless them, God bless them one and all.
Sookie comforts Eric, which starts with a little kiss on the cheek, which leads to a little making out, which leads to Sookie rubbing her fingers over Eric's fangs, which leads to Eric seriously chomping down on Sookie's neck.
Sookie wakes up in the minivan taking her, Jason and Bill home from the airport. Oh Snapple, it's another of those freaky deaky vampire sex dreams brought on by clever screenwriting. I mean by Eric being a butthole and getting her to suck down a little of his super magical vampire blood last episode.
Jason promptly asks Sookie what she was dreaming about, and Sookie gets a deer in the headlights look right before she sees Bill's travel coffin and squeaks out his name. Yes siree bob, she was dreaming about her good old reliable recycling boyfriend, and not the super hot bad boy Swedish sex bomb almost all of the viewers want her to hook up with.
Jason doesn't push on this obvious whopper and makes a comment about how home always looks different when you come back to it. This is right before we see that on the sign that welcomes people to Bon Temps, somebody has written the words "fuck off" and drawn a giant prick on it. (Incidentally, if it were up to me these two features would be added to the signs in front of every gated community in America in the spirit of true honesty.)
Things are a little off in Bon Temps. The streets are littered with garbage, a guy is whacking his noggin on a post, and a couple of people just run out into the street and get hit by Sookie's and Jason's minivan. Their driver is freaking out, and when they get out of the minivan they find out the people they hit are a little bloody but okay, and both sporting a serious set of poopeyes. They ask the poopeyes what is going on but the poopeyes run off shouting about how they have to find Sam because it's almost time, and we cut to the opening credits.
After the credits we cut over to Maryann who is working on this big statue type thing in front of Sookie's house. It's made of flowers and sticks, and feathers and lots and lots of meat. Fun fact, if you showed a picture of this to Rush Limbaugh and told him Maryann was getting a $25,000 grant from the NEA, his head would explode like that dude in Scanners.
Over at the no-tell-motel Sam is sitting on the bed in the morning light with a look of burning shame. We could assume that was caused by drinking and experimentation, but I think it's more because he's wearing Andy's clothes. Buck up Sammy, Dockers make everybody's ass look like that.
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Comments (3)
Awwww, and I thought I was the only one who foamed at the mouth when forced to eat Brussels sprouts. Thankfully, those days are passed. I’d much prefer waffles!
Awesome recap, as usual, WB.
I was shocked when Jess chomped down on Hoyt’s evil mama. Not that I can blame her, but it still surprised me.
Cracked up when Terry took the gun from Andy and started shooting the booze. Arlene yells out, “Shoot the bottom row where the cheap liquor is!” LOL show.
Question for you or other commentators: Does anyone else doubt that Tara is really “back”? It seemed all hunky dory happy time, but when she came to, she hugged her mom, which I didn’t expect, and Sookie told Bill something like, “it was all darkness– like Tara isn’t even in there” (major paraphrasing – but the gist was that we never really saw Tara’s thoughts, just the goop-eyed stuff). So my thought is that this is more of Maryanne’s shenanigans – she’s making it appear that Tara is back in order to appease Lafayette/Sookie/Bill, etc. but she’s still under Maryanne’s control.
Possible?
Or am I just loony toons?
(Actually, those are not mutually exclusive options, are they?)
1 of 3 | Posted by zbird | Posted on August 27, 2009 3:32 PM
Excellent job WB,
I just started watching this show a few months ago at my husband's urging. I was shocked at how funny it was and now I won't miss it. There are a few things I don't understand but that's OK, at least Jason and Sam know less than I do.
Can't wait til next week.
TVannie
2 of 3 | Posted by AnneM | Posted on August 28, 2009 8:04 AM
Excellent recap WB.
I thought this was the worst episode of this season so far. Which isn't really an insult as the rest of the season has been so excellent.
I particularly liked Maryann's "Oh yes, ravage me!" when Bill bit her. Nothing like neck-biting for a good time!
3 of 3 | Posted by hisroyalhighness | Posted on August 28, 2009 10:23 PM