Golden Gasms 2006 Winners Announced! - 
by TVgasm Staff
The votes have been cast, the results have been tallied, and the Wolfgang Puck-catered Governor's Ball has been booked. Yes, it's time to announce the winners of this year's Golden Gasm Awards, honoring the best and worst in the television landscape.
This year's highly-regarded panel of judges include TVgasm writers Amanda, B-Side, Copygodd, Edhill, J-Unit, m_ruv, and Umnata. Additionally, back this year as guest judges are Mark Lisanti, editor of Defamer.com, and Andy Dehnart, editor of Reality Blurred. Joining them is Joe Adalian, television editor for Daily Variety magazine.
Because this is our second glorious year of the Golden Gasms, we've decided to up the ante. Winners will be treated to a free dinner not from Olive Garden, but Red Lobster (redeemable until December 1st). They will also receive commemorative index cards with their names written on them. All in all, a wonderful gift package.
And now, let the ceremonies begin...
Most Memorable Moment, Scripted:
NOMINEES:
- Edgar dies, 24
- Vito caught in a gay bar, The Sopranos
- Marissa Cooper dies, The OC
- Denny dies, Grey’s Anatomy
- Veronica’s rapist revealed, Veronica Mars
Narrowly beating out other deaths from Marissa Cooper and Denny Duquette, Edgar's nerve-gas slaying was possibly the most emotionally involving moment ever on 24. Copygodd compares it to the day "when your dad told you the family dog went to live on a 'farm out in the country.'" How true indeed.
Most Memorable Moment, Unscripted:
NOMINEES:
- Chris Daughtry eliminated, American Idol
- Randal denies Rebecca in finale, Apprentice 4
- Santino does his Tim Gunn impersonation, Project Runway 2
- Paula gets drunk, hyperventilates, and yells “KISS MY ASS!”, The Real World: Key West
- Lisa pees in a diaper, America’s Next Top Model
This was a close one, but ultimately, Santino won out. Hard to beat the genesis of a catchphrase. Mark Lisanti writes, "The third season's almost over, and I still have to do a 'Where's Andrae?' at least once per episode."
Most Shocking Moment:
NOMINEES:
- A guy’s eyeball pops out and then his testicle explodes, House
- Various toes, eyeballs, penises, and hands chopped, cut, or gouged out, Prison Break
- Michael kills Ana Lucia and Libby, Lost
- Lara Flynn Boyle gets blown off a roof, Las Vegas
- Trump fires four people at once, The Apprentice 4
This wasn't even close. Minus a few spare votes for The Apprentice and Prison Break, pretty much everyone singled out Lost for this shocking twist.
Best Apprentice Moment of Humiliation:
PASSION!
NOMINEES:
- The guys sing “The Rubble Man,” Apprentice 4
- The girls perform a Lambourghini ad, introducing us to “PASSION!”, Apprentice 4
- Candidates sing with Burt Bacharach, Apprentice 5
- Candidates sing an Arby’s tune, Apprentice 5
- Jennifer repeatedly calls Zathura, “Zenthura” to Jon Favreau, Apprentice 4
Honestly, each one of these moments could have been a winner, and it's hard to deny the catchy idiocy of "The Rubble Man," but for its contribution to the TVgasm lexicon, hardly anyone could resist Toral and her PASSION. Joe Adalian, however, wrote in his own Apprentice Moment of Humiliation: "Um, that would be the ratings when they came in the next morning." Ouch!
Best New Series, Scripted:
NOMINEES:
- Everybody Hates Chris
- Prison Break
- Psych
- My Name Is Earl
- Dog Bites Man
The voters were pretty split on this one, with My Name Is Earl and Everybody Hates Chris nearly taking the crown (Joe Adalian wrote of Everybody Hates Chris, "UPN finally creates a classy comedy...and promptly goes out of business."). However, Michael Scoffield and his merry band of escapees proved too intense (and dreamy!) to be ignored. EdHill explained, "I love how this show's logic drives me insane while also entertaining me at the same time. It's like dating a hot, crazy chick. Yeah, it sucks that she's crazy, but damn, she's so hot."
Best New Series, Unscripted:
NOMINEES:
- The Hills
- Top Chef
- Dane Cook’s Tourgasm
- 8th and Ocean
- Flavor of Love
Following in the footsteps of Project Runway, Top Chef managed to capture our attention, despite us not being able to taste anything that was being judged. What the show lacked in viewer participation it more than made up for with a cast of colorful, eccentric characters. Plus, it also gave us one of the best catchphrases of the year: "I'm not your bitch, BITCH!" (Extra points also go to Miguel who introduced us to the deconstructed falafel sandwich).
Best Rivalry:
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