It looked like the Weavers and the Linzes were going to have this one in the bag, but then suddenly, bickering Sabrina and Kelly made a strong surge. If you haven't caught these models in action, then you missed some of the most loathsome, passive-aggressive, downright evil interactions all season -- and they're twin sisters! The perfect complement to the Weavers' sanctimonious rivalry with the wholesome, lovable Linzes.


Best Fight:

wifeswap101206

NOMINEES:

  • Pumkin spits on New York, Flavor of Love
  • Shane promises to kill Courtney, Survivor: Exile Island
  • Joe Rogan takes down Jonathan Baker, Fear Factor
  • Bre's granola bar witch hunt, America’s Next Top Model 5
  • A cowgirl mom, a party mom, and their husbands engage in table-tossin’ fisticuffs, Wifeswap
WINNER: A cowgirl mom, a party mom, and their husbands engage in table-tossin’ fisticuffs, Wifeswap

Probably the only time Wifeswap will ever earn accolades from TVgasm, this fight was wonderful on so many levels. Not only did fists fly, but the supposedly well-mannered cowboy shoved his wife out of the way to pummel the city slicker. In case you missed it, check out the glorious confrontation here.


Best '80s Resurrection:

NOMINEES:

  • Steve Guttenberg, Veronica Mars
  • Howie Mandel, Deal or No Deal
  • The Hoff, America’s Got Talent
  • Alan Thicke, Celebrity Cooking Showdown
  • Jeff Conaway, Celebrity Fit Club 3
WINNER: The Hoff, America’s Got Talent

Steve Guttenberg was this close to winning this category, but in the end, The Hoff outpaced him, thanks to not just his role on America's Got Talent but also a myriad of oddball tabloid stories, including -- but not exclusive to -- nearly severing his wrist on a chandelier in a men's room while shaving. EdHill writes, "In the span of a few months he got kicked out of Wimbledon of all places for being too drunk, cut a tendon in his arm from a falling chandelier while shaving... and called 911 saying his daughter attempted suicide but then we found out it was just the cat that scratched her. Why doesn't he have a reality show yet? The only downside is America's Got Talent sucks ass."


Most Annoying Male

NOMINEES:

  • Lee, Apprentice 5
  • Howie Mandel, Deal or No Deal
  • Taylor Hicks, American Idol
  • Sheriff Don Lamb, Veronica Mars
  • Kevin Volchok, The OC
WINNER: Taylor Hicks, American Idol

When we first started tallying the votes, it seemed like Howie Mandel had a lock on this category, but never overlook the silver fox with his underdog skillz. Taylor Hicks quickly outpaced all the other nominees, thanks to his signature on-stage antics, goofy grin, and generally annoying presence. J-Unit cuts to the core of it by simply stating, "He sucks."


Most Annoying Female:

NOMINEES:

  • Star Jones, The View
  • Paris Bennet, American Idol
  • Kina, Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Gauntlet II
  • Jessica, Laguna Beach 2
  • Monica, Amazing Race 9
WINNER: Star Jones, The View

There was no debate on this one. Star Jones received almost a unanimous vote, save a random nod to Paris Bennett by Umnata as well as a write-in from Joe Adalian for Tyra Banks. Yes, Star Jones may have exited the building, but she's left many scars -- and stretch marks -- on pop culture. We bid you adieu, Star.


Biggest Idiot, Male:

NOMINEES:

  • Ashley Parker Angel, There & Back
  • Jason, Laguna Beach / The Hills
  • Jonathan Antin, Blow Out
  • Vinci, 8th and Ocean
  • Kevin Federline, Teen Choice Awards
WINNER: Vinci, 8th and Ocean

One of the bigger surprises of the Golden Gasms, Vinci managed to edge out flashier competition in Kevin Federline, Jonathan Antin, and Jason Wahler. How did this happen? Copygodd explains, "No contest! He won the 'M.V.P.: Most Valuable Model' award! He does shopping! He's functionally retarded! He's Vinci!" To be fair, Andy Dehnart made a very persuasive appeal for Ashley Parker Angel, writing, "He complained about being made fun of as a kid because of his name, and then he named his spawn "Lyric." At least the others in this category didn't ruin anyone's life." True dat. Even so, it's hard to top Vinci and his grammatically incorrect t-shirts ("Smile If Your Horny").


Biggest Idiot, Female:

NOMINEES:

  • Courtney, Survivor: Exile Island
  • Heidi Montag, The Hills
  • Kellie Pickler, American Idol
  • Paris Hilton, The Simple Life
  • Jade, America’s Next Top Model 6
WINNER: Heidi Montag

Golden Gasms 2006 Winners Announced! Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |  6 

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Comments (19)

Yanaja Author Profile Page:

You forgot a nominee for Biggest Disaster...Desperate Housewives: The Applewhite storyline...actually scratch that...the whole season was an absurd disaster

Love the awards though...glad Santino won something...he's the best!

Yanaja Author Profile Page:

You forgot a nominee for Biggest Disaster...Desperate Housewives: The Applewhite storyline...actually scratch that...the whole season was an absurd disaster

Love the awards though...glad Santino won something...he's the best!

LaSexorcisto Author Profile Page:

Gross. Diana Eng and her stuffed-nose speech and wallpaper personality? Egads. Frankly you could have nominated some better people in that category.

Heidi's interview pretty much clinched her category. Huzzah and kudos (and I bet the dumbass doesn't know what that means)

8th and Ocean proved surprisingly memorable. Who knew? I would have nominated Irene Marie's face as Biggest Disaster

LaSexorcisto Author Profile Page:

And oh yea...Wes might be the biggest asshole in the Real World canon, but I think Carlos Mencia deserves to be punched (or kicked, your choice) in the head, repeatedly. I don't mind offensive comedy, as long as it is, ya know, FUNNY?

Best Villain, Scripted: Henry Gale aka Benjamin Linus, Lost

umnata Author Profile Page:

You want to talk rebel? You didn't even mention my write-in vote for Treasure Hunters in the Best Reality Programming Category.

tvtvtv Author Profile Page:

Commemorative index cards...I love you guys. Hope you didn't break the bank on those. m-ruv, the Contessa IS sort of oddly mesmerizing. PS: I'm ready for everyone to stop using "huzzah" now.

tigereye Author Profile Page:

god, i wanna see that fight on wife swap! (my computer won't let me, wtf?!)

Biggest Idiot-Male had to be a tuff one! I really don't know who I would have picked. Vinci is definately a quality choice. I laughed so hard at Heidi winning the Biggest Idiot-Female categorty. HA! nice one! especially the picture.

You're definately right about Steve and The Office.

Vidle Author Profile Page:

What is with all these advertisment hyperlinks in all the blogs? Really annoying.

may1 Author Profile Page:

The real reason Phil is the best on Amazing Race, is of course the Philpackage.

Tracie Author Profile Page:

I'm glad "Lost" came in second to "24." My two favorite TV dramas were on the top. I'm happy with the results!

TheEmancipationofGigi Author Profile Page:

B-side, I'm totally with you...Alex H/Roz should have won in a landslide. Her ability to ask 20 questions in a row during a normal conversation makes her the ultimate sidekick.

brilliantmistake Author Profile Page:

I just can't believe J-Unit doesn't watch Lost.

NoMantecaPorFavor Author Profile Page:

I'm so proud of J-Unit for not watching Lost.

Somehow, I can't believe Drew and Cheryl's Thriller routine (or the Cowboy one) didn't warrant any nominations. C'mon, B-Side, I know you loved 'em too.

TWilliams Author Profile Page:

I guess I am the only person here who thinks Cat Deely is actually a decent host :(

And as much as you all LOVE the Chenbot, I think even with her on the ballot, Heidi should have given her a pretty good run for the gold. She may be the most entertaining; but the category is "BEST" so Heidi should win that one hands down. The Chenbot has numerous malfunctions . . . but perhaps that is your snarky idea of BEST. Oh well, at least you recognize the brilliance of both of these fine hosts.

TWilliams Author Profile Page:

One more thing . . . why was Cirie from Survivor overlooked in the best female reality star? Diana and her magnets were bizarre; but a self-admited leaf-phobe who made it to the final four while playing EVERYBODY at least deserved a mention. I had great dislike for her after surviving the first tribal council; but had nothing but love for her from episode 2 onwards.

troiaj Author Profile Page:

What I love about Diana Eng is how contradictory her personality is to the things she says. Like when she was talking about how her lengiere line will be reminiscent of bondage. Haha, I love it!

troiaj Author Profile Page:

Oh, and Arrested Development should have won over the Office... that show is hilarious.

woodsyallen Author Profile Page:

Janelle! Janelle! Janelle! Yes, she sucked at so many points throughout the season. However, she and Dr. Delicious were the ONLY ones that kept BB All-Starts interesting this season. Let's give her some props, shall we?

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