This was the toughest category. Believe it or not, we wound up with a five-way tie, which, as you can imagine, was not very productive. Each nominee brought something special to the table. Courtney possessed a pot-smokin' lunacy; Heidi, a brazen sense of entitled ditzyness; Kellie Pickler, a shocking naiveté; Paris Hilton, a general brain-dead apathy; and Jade, a cocky ignorance to her own stupidity. So who to choose amongst these five? J-Unit and I hemmed and hawed, and while these women are all winners in our book, we decided that Heidi Montag deserved the award. Why? Because without her, The Hills would have been nothing. None of the other nominees were as essential to their shows' survival and entertainment value. Whether it was the way she filled up her Outlook calendar with "Start Work" and "Finish Work" or whether it was her pride in telling an admissions officer that she never went to school -- only went shopping -- Heidi proved that she was worthy of this mighty distinction. See her finest moment here.
Most Punchable:
NOMINEES:
- Ace Young, American Idol
- Carlos Mencia, Mind of Mencia
- Lukas Rossi, Rock Star: Supernova
- Wes, Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Fresh Meat
- Ty Pennington, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
All these guys are punchable, but Wes brought out something deep and dark in us (he also just barely edged out second place winner, Carlos Mencia). Andy Dehnart puts it best: "I've never hit anyone in my life, but every time Wes over-enunciated his misogynistic and megalomaniacal rationalization, I had the urge to punch him in the head."
Biggest Disappointment:
NOMINEES:
- The Apprentice: Martha Stewart
- Amazing Race: Family Edition
- Skating with Celebrities
- Treasure Hunters
- The Sopranos
Defeating Amazing Race: Family Edition by one vote, Martha's version of The Apprentice was a prosaic, sleepy mess. She didn't seem excited to be there, and neither were we. Mark Lisanti writes, "Writing contestants a letter on personalized stationery is no way to fire an Apprentice. It's easy to see why Trump turned on her for diluting his brand."
Most Overhyped:
NOMINEES:
- The Apprentice: Martha Stewart
- America’s Got Talent
- Keith’s Pattern Book Dismissal, Project Runway 3
- Second season of Lost
- American Inventor
Regis + Brandy + David Hasselhoff + Simon Cowell behind the scenes? It all equaled a big, giant mess. Sure, there were some memorable moments, but once the auditions ran their course, there was no reason to stay tuned. Just about the only worthwhile contribution this show made to pop culture was having America question what exactly merited talent. Needless to say, not much of it was on display here.
Worst Show of the Year
NOMINEES:
- Unan1mous
- Celebrity Cooking Showdown
- Emily’s Reason’s Why Not
- Three Wishes
- Master of Champions
With one vote ahead of Celebrity Cooking Showdown (which Mark Lisanti called, "Like Top Chef with blunt head trauma that rendered it infinitely dumber, but much louder"), Unan1mous took an interesting concept and absolutely killed it with convoluted twists, an overly serious tone, and an awful host in JD Roth. EdHill, however, touches on the show's most flagrant transgression: "I'll give it to Unan1mous just because putting a number in the word is retarded."
Biggest Bitch:
NOMINEES:
- Tiffany, Top Chef
- Tyler, Real World: Key West
- New York, Flavor of Love
- Beth, Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Gauntlet II
- Ana Lucia, Lost
Nearly everyone voted for Ana Lucia, including J-Unit, who doesn't even watch Lost. Just goes to prove one thing: she's such a bitch that anyone with a vague notion of pop-culture knows how awful she is. New York, Tyler, and Tiffany each received one vote apiece, but they were no competition for Michelle Rodriguez's alter-ego.
Biggest Disaster:
NOMINEES:
- Bai Ling, But Can They Sing?
- Tom, Hell’s Kitchen 2
- Brent, Apprentice 5
- Bruce’s intestinal tract, Survivor: Exile Island
- Jeff Conaway, Celebrity Fit Club 3
Let the singing do the explaining.
Best Villain, Unscripted:
NOMINEES:
- Shane, Survivor: Exile Island
- Santino, Project Runway 2
- Weavers, Amazing Race: Family Edition
- Jade, America’s Next Top Model 6
- Dr. Will, Big Brother All Stars
This was one of the most difficult categories, and while Jade, the Weavers, and Shane were excellent villains, the real race came down to Dr. Will or Santino. Both men were wily, scheming, and blunt. Both men were undeniably hilarious and irksome. And both men were the breakout stars of their seasons. So who to choose? Ultimately, Dr. Will edged out Santino by one vote, thus proving that he was the ultimate villain of 2006 (at least, according to us). Although, to be fair, Joe Adalian notes, "Of course, he was playing against morons."
Best Villain, Scripted:
NOMINEES
- President Logan, 24
- Teabag, Prison Break
- Officer Bellick, Prison Break
- Lex Luthor, Smallville
- Cassidy “Beaver” Casablancas, Veronica Mars
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Comments (19)
You forgot a nominee for Biggest Disaster...Desperate Housewives: The Applewhite storyline...actually scratch that...the whole season was an absurd disaster
Love the awards though...glad Santino won something...he's the best!
1 of 19 | Posted by Yanaja
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Posted on October 12, 2006 9:20 PM
You forgot a nominee for Biggest Disaster...Desperate Housewives: The Applewhite storyline...actually scratch that...the whole season was an absurd disaster
Love the awards though...glad Santino won something...he's the best!
2 of 19 | Posted by Yanaja
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Posted on October 12, 2006 9:21 PM
Gross. Diana Eng and her stuffed-nose speech and wallpaper personality? Egads. Frankly you could have nominated some better people in that category.
Heidi's interview pretty much clinched her category. Huzzah and kudos (and I bet the dumbass doesn't know what that means)
8th and Ocean proved surprisingly memorable. Who knew? I would have nominated Irene Marie's face as Biggest Disaster
3 of 19 | Posted by LaSexorcisto
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Posted on October 12, 2006 10:23 PM
And oh yea...Wes might be the biggest asshole in the Real World canon, but I think Carlos Mencia deserves to be punched (or kicked, your choice) in the head, repeatedly. I don't mind offensive comedy, as long as it is, ya know, FUNNY?
4 of 19 | Posted by LaSexorcisto
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Posted on October 12, 2006 10:26 PM
Best Villain, Scripted: Henry Gale aka Benjamin Linus, Lost
5 of 19 | Posted by geewits
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Posted on October 13, 2006 1:08 AM
You want to talk rebel? You didn't even mention my write-in vote for Treasure Hunters in the Best Reality Programming Category.
6 of 19 | Posted by umnata
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Posted on October 13, 2006 6:24 AM
Commemorative index cards...I love you guys. Hope you didn't break the bank on those. m-ruv, the Contessa IS sort of oddly mesmerizing. PS: I'm ready for everyone to stop using "huzzah" now.
7 of 19 | Posted by tvtvtv
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Posted on October 13, 2006 6:39 AM
god, i wanna see that fight on wife swap! (my computer won't let me, wtf?!)
Biggest Idiot-Male had to be a tuff one! I really don't know who I would have picked. Vinci is definately a quality choice. I laughed so hard at Heidi winning the Biggest Idiot-Female categorty. HA! nice one! especially the picture.
You're definately right about Steve and The Office.
8 of 19 | Posted by tigereye
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Posted on October 13, 2006 7:31 AM
What is with all these advertisment hyperlinks in all the blogs? Really annoying.
9 of 19 | Posted by Vidle
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Posted on October 13, 2006 9:10 AM
The real reason Phil is the best on Amazing Race, is of course the Philpackage.
10 of 19 | Posted by may1
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Posted on October 13, 2006 10:42 AM
I'm glad "Lost" came in second to "24." My two favorite TV dramas were on the top. I'm happy with the results!
11 of 19 | Posted by Tracie
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Posted on October 13, 2006 10:48 AM
B-side, I'm totally with you...Alex H/Roz should have won in a landslide. Her ability to ask 20 questions in a row during a normal conversation makes her the ultimate sidekick.
12 of 19 | Posted by TheEmancipationofGigi
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Posted on October 13, 2006 11:20 AM
I just can't believe J-Unit doesn't watch Lost.
13 of 19 | Posted by brilliantmistake
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Posted on October 13, 2006 3:18 PM
I'm so proud of J-Unit for not watching Lost.
Somehow, I can't believe Drew and Cheryl's Thriller routine (or the Cowboy one) didn't warrant any nominations. C'mon, B-Side, I know you loved 'em too.
14 of 19 | Posted by NoMantecaPorFavor
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Posted on October 13, 2006 6:32 PM
I guess I am the only person here who thinks Cat Deely is actually a decent host :(
And as much as you all LOVE the Chenbot, I think even with her on the ballot, Heidi should have given her a pretty good run for the gold. She may be the most entertaining; but the category is "BEST" so Heidi should win that one hands down. The Chenbot has numerous malfunctions . . . but perhaps that is your snarky idea of BEST. Oh well, at least you recognize the brilliance of both of these fine hosts.
15 of 19 | Posted by TWilliams
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Posted on October 13, 2006 11:33 PM
One more thing . . . why was Cirie from Survivor overlooked in the best female reality star? Diana and her magnets were bizarre; but a self-admited leaf-phobe who made it to the final four while playing EVERYBODY at least deserved a mention. I had great dislike for her after surviving the first tribal council; but had nothing but love for her from episode 2 onwards.
16 of 19 | Posted by TWilliams
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Posted on October 16, 2006 1:44 PM
What I love about Diana Eng is how contradictory her personality is to the things she says. Like when she was talking about how her lengiere line will be reminiscent of bondage. Haha, I love it!
17 of 19 | Posted by troiaj
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Posted on October 16, 2006 6:21 PM
Oh, and Arrested Development should have won over the Office... that show is hilarious.
18 of 19 | Posted by troiaj
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Posted on October 16, 2006 6:23 PM
Janelle! Janelle! Janelle! Yes, she sucked at so many points throughout the season. However, she and Dr. Delicious were the ONLY ones that kept BB All-Starts interesting this season. Let's give her some props, shall we?
19 of 19 | Posted by woodsyallen
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Posted on October 27, 2006 10:05 PM