Are you 25 or older? You still live with mom and dad? Have you ever made fun of someone for mispronouncing Matt Groening's last name? Have you already secured Episode III tickets? Are you a virgin? Well then you are the person I am looking for.

An unnamed Hollywood player, with several major credits under his belt seems to have come into hard times. His pathetic mid-life woes, could be your gain. He asked me to auction off a couple of things from his Xena days. The producers of the show gave the crew and executives shirts and Jackets to commemorate the "Millenium Crew."

Now, a once strong power player in the industry has become as his wife put it "all washed up" and he memories and dreams are now being pissed away for barely enough money to cover the cost of his tanning, viagra and botox.

Be sure to dig deep with these auctions as all proceeds go to help survivors of the fickle bitch of a tsunami, called Hollywood.