Meet The Douchebags of Twentyfourseven!

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Last week, MTV premiered their latest slice of staged-Hollywood-life in the form of Twentyfourseven, a truly awful show that follows seven typical Hollywood douchebags as they go about their lives wearing trucker hats, not shaving, and making inane comments. Seriously, this cast makes Ashley Parker Angel and Heidi Montag seem like the second coming of Pierre and Marie Curie.

And for that reason alone, I will most likely watch each and every episode of this silly show. For more on this merry band of boneheads follow the jump...

Greg

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We start off with Greg. He's the leader of these dolts, and as douchebags go, he's probably the least offensive. He doesn't seem all that bright, but compared to the rest of these idiots, he shows the most promise of having what I like to call a "thought process." When he's not sporting an ever so trendy trucker hat to match his ever so trendy Beard of Patchiness, Greg passes his time trying to get his new club, Casablanca, off the ground. What's that, you say? How does a youngin' like Greg have his own club? Well, that's part of the fun of the show! All these guys are highly successful upstarts (who probably benefited from the deep pockets of MTV). Anyway, Greg's biggest worry on the premiere was making sure opening night of Casablanca was off the hook. To ensure bodies, he told everyone under the sun that it would be open bar, but unfortunately, he kind of forgot to tell the stodgy British investor (who we all know is the real guy running the venue). Turns out open bar was a big no-no (a cheap Brit? Why I never!) and now Greg was in biiiiig trouble! Not even the latest ensemble from Urban Outfitters could get him out of this one!


Chris

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Chris is Greg's older brother and the lead singer of The Prom Kings, a rock band that's just on the cusp of making it big (read: cluttering up the radio with wannabe Sugarcult tunes). To help make the opening of Casablanca 'uge, Chris and the PKs were supposed to play at Greg's club, but then two days before, Chris decided he wanted to go back to Arkansas so he could get a little huntin' and fishin' in before the season ended. Insert banjo twang here. This led to the most interesting scene of the pilot: the two brothers arguing over what was more important -- real world responsibilities or shewtin' possums down by Ol' Hickory Creek. Of course, like any classic Edward Albee production, this fight revealed deep, dark undercurrents of the brothers' relationship as we learned that Chris was sick of his lil' brother bossing him around, dang gummit! He's been on this Earth longer! The whole thing ended with Greg looking like he wanted to cry (awesome), and we were left to wonder: would Chris be true to his word and be back from Arkansas in time for the big club gig???


Cipes.

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It's always sad when you're the biggest idiot in a troop of idiots, but such is the case with Cipes, someone so dumb, it immediately feels like an act (which it very well may be). Speaking in a high pitch voice that surely sent America scrambling for the mute button, Cipes first dazzled us with his metaphysical theories on water condensation. I don't remember the specifics, but he said something about how important it was to write things like "I love you" on the side of a glass because then the words would intertwine with the molecules and then something else dumb would happen. It made no sense and was clearly the product of pot, fetal alcohol syndrome, and chronic Baby-Cipes-dropping. Aside from this gripping insight into the world of supernatural water vapors, Cipes didn't offer much else to America. He did, however, save the day for Greg. Turns out that Chris didn't return from Arkansas as promised, which meant that the Prom Kings simply could not go on stage at Casablanca! Luckily, Cipes had his own reggae band, and they all just happened to be at the club, and they all just happened to be ready to take the stage and perform instead. And by "perform," I mean "lipsynch" to a prerecorded track. Memo to MTV: we can tell the difference between live audio and looped in studio cuts.


Frankie

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Meet The Douchebags of Twentyfourseven! Sections:  1  |  2 

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Comments (30)

Jenny P Author Profile Page:

Apparently Greg is "dating" LC from Laguna Beach/The Hills...he was her date to some part last week or something...it's like they just date within their own sick little reality pool...

LuvzSunshine Author Profile Page:

I wasn't going to watch this show but I love The Prom Kings. I know I'll get hooked.

Damn you MTV.

RealityMonkey Author Profile Page:

All the promos led me to believe this would be a poor man's Entourage. But if you're going to watch, B-Side, and if there's a LC connection, then I know I'll get sucked in too.

RealityMonkey Author Profile Page:

Ty is the group's filmmaker/auteur/black person.

Also, I really enjoyed that comment.

jozeyg Author Profile Page:

Greg is actually Haylie Duff's boyfriend(Hilary's sister). He mentioned it in the beginning of the episode when he threw her a birthday party.

oatmealbars Author Profile Page:

I haven't seen this show and i don't doubt how dumb cipes is, but his water molecule theory is actually true. I'm assuming he's referring to an experiement by Dr. Masuro Emoto, made famous in the movie "what the bleep do we know?" It's actually pretty cool.

I think that little Cipes has taken the idiot course taught by that silly movie what the bleep do we know. I am sure he saw that and it blew his mind. Some dildo writes words on glasses of water and then leaves them over night and then says that the nice words make pretty cellular structures and the mean words make ugly ones. It is as dumb as it sounds and Cipes is as dumb as he looks. I look forward to the whole season.

Krizzatch Author Profile Page:

I like how Ty's IMDB trivia is:

"Has brown hair and eyes"

Wow. That's trivia, man.

I watched this show on mute when I was on the phone with my grandma, and the closed captions were making me cringe. I can't imagine what it was like to have audio along with it.

Chani Author Profile Page:

I think what Cipes was talking about (the water thing) was a theory discussed in the movie "What the Bleep do we know". There's also a book called "The hidden Messages in Water" that talks more about it. I have the book and keep it on my toilet, fitten eh? People always ask me about it after a trip :P

B-Side Author Profile Page:

WELL! If it was in a movie, then by all means, it's true!

btw, wasn't the whole deal with "What the bleep do we know?" that it was a recruitment tool for a cult?

they got the show because the main guy dates haylie duff (as has been said).

Honestly, this show is insulting.

Worst tv ever.

wait, that wasn't strong enough.

Are there any Nielsen family readers out there? PLEASE don't watch this. Maybe it will get cancelled. It makes me angry when I see it in the TV listings.

B-Side Author Profile Page:

There are so many of these douchebags all throughout hollywood, and the worst part about these shows is that they glorify them. So upsetting.

Trent880 Author Profile Page:

"Greg is actually Haylie Duff's boyfriend(Hilary's sister). He mentioned it in the beginning of the episode when he threw her a birthday party."

"Things you don't want to mention out loud to anyone that is not deaf" for $500, Alex.

IJustWatch Author Profile Page:

Wow B-Side.. thank goodness you're recapping this show so that I have an outlet for my emotions. Greg does seem pretty normal.. though his nasaly voice irritates the heck outta me.

Cipes whole stoner vibe is so contrived! He looks about eleventeen. And I think Ty is lightweight gay. He was on "Evens Stevens" on the Disney Channel.. and he arched his eyebrow + crossed his arms too naturally for my taste.

pjtvqueen Author Profile Page:

This show sucked. All around. The guys are boring, not very attractive, and I have no interest in how they whore themselves out to become famous. I'll read the recaps because B-Side, you're just too funny to pass up, but I won't be watching. There are enough idiots walking around that I can watch, I don't want to encourage them on TV.

anniedawg25 Author Profile Page:

well, I did see the premiere and I am already sucked into the suckiness of this show. Thank God B-Side is going to recap this, because now I can feel less guilty....uhhh yeah, I am only watching STRICLTY for the sake of research for the TVgasm boards...uhhh yeah, that's it.

Anyway these are the biggest tools on the face of the earth. Why, Hillary Duff...WHYYYYYY?

Please tell me NOT everyone in LA acts like this.

And Cipes...WTF? Total Jesse Camp ripoff right there.

Ozone Dude Author Profile Page:

Oi. If these guys are supposed to be the lovable assholes of Entourage, I'm only getting the asshole part. Really, they remind of every bad stereotype of our fair city that all visitors see and throw in our faces.

chasgoose Author Profile Page:

My favorite part is that Ty Hodges named the main character(played by himself, natch) in his gritty, hard-hitting indie movie after a bit part he played on that old Disney Channel show The Famous Jett Jackson. Changing the y in Myles to an i doesn't make it different.

yaytv Author Profile Page:

I thought the end was kind of funny, I actually want to see the next episode to see why whathisname got arrested.

fiction Author Profile Page:

I like how in the first EP they pretended Chris got arrested the night of the club opening yet in the second EP you'll notice that he all of a sudden has a mohawk! Unless his hair grows a few inches a night, the whole fight in the apartment followed by a jail house phone call was very staged...

Ash Author Profile Page:

This show is SO BORING! I'm trying to watch the second episode right now... and I really don't think effort and TV go together.

fiction Author Profile Page:

I don't think he was actually arrested, it was all fake.

B-Side Author Profile Page:

This is a pretty funny twentyfourseven spoof:

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1731098

k37744 Author Profile Page:

annie, you hit the nail on the head when you said

"sucked into the suckiness"...

oh the humanity.

Ubiquitous Author Profile Page:

You mean this isn't some new varient of The Real World?

Ubiquitous Author Profile Page:

Cipes is an actor: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0996651/

ccknows Author Profile Page:

OMG! I knew that Cipes kid had to be an actor! No one can be that retarded. He was Veronica Mars' little brother when she guest starred on Deadwood as a kid hooker. He's really gone way down hill in his acting career.

Ubiquitous Author Profile Page:

Do these programming monkies think we don't know how to search the Internet or something?

alex Author Profile Page:

I think all of you guys need to stop thinking so negatively about shows like this.. yes some are probably fake or something but not every show in the world is gonna be staged.. and then if it's not staged you guys say it's shit because it's not fun.. but everytime something exciting happens or something you guys say it's set up it's stupid.. I think Cipes is awesome and I think his band was the shit!!

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