If douchebags suck so much, how come watching them is so fun? That's the question at the heart of Twentyfourseven, a show so terrible that it shames me to admit that I watch it. I think we can safely file this series in the "Makes Me Feel Better About Myself" category. Granted, I'm sure part of my disgust with these idiots comes from a regrettable bout of jealousy. After all, I don't get into nearly all the hot spots and parties that these seven guys do, but for that reason, I think I'm allowed to have a smidge of grumble-itis. Nothing's more frustrating than watching a bunch of vacuous mimbos waltz right past the velvet ropes, knowing that you'll be standing out in the cold (that's mid 60s in Los Angeles) for another twenty-five minutes. But I guess I should be the bigger man and take solace in knowing that I live a more meaningful and thoughtful life. Oh, what am I talking about? I write about reality TV. I don't even have a high horse to sit on. But hey, at least I don't wear a trucker cap (often).
This week's show began with the Rat Pack, er, Brat Pack, er, Douche Pack sitting around playing pool. It was just fun times as usual, but the party was about to end when Debbie Downer Greg arrived and announced that Whitman MUST drive him to the airport. You see, Greg had to go to Arkansas to bail out his big bro, Chris -- a.k.a. the lead singer of The Prom Kings, a.k.a. an up and coming band, a.k.a. you probably have never heard of them unless you saw them touring with Puddle of Mudd, a.k.a. that band that was really big five years ago. Anyhoo, in the last episode, Chris had gone down to Arkansas against his lil' bro's wishes and done got himself locked up in jail. This was a problem because the Prom Kings were supposed to play at Greg's club, Casablanca. Oops!
Well, since apparently it would be too boring to let Chris's parents mosey on down to the police station and bail out their son, Greg flew all the way back to Hot Springs, Arkansas to get his brother out of jail. Surprisingly, he did not present a Monopoly card to the police officers (I wouldn't put it past any of these idiots). The two brothers reunited with a hug and then drove to their parents house, discussing the crime along the way. Chris explained that he had been partying too hard. "I was wasted, and I was driving wasted on the way home," he revealed, further describing how he pulled over to fight a bunch of dudes.
"Why the hell did you think you could take three guys?" Greg asked. How about WHY THE HELL WERE YOU DRIVING WASTED? Good to see that Greg's got his priorities straight. We then cut to the cabbie who looked both bored and jaded. He was probably thinking, "Back in my day, I used to drink three bottles of whiskey, hop on Old Man Jefferson's tractor and ride all the way to Polk County! Then I'd shoot a hobo and hitchhike my way back home, which was nowhere in particular on account of me being a drifter. Those were the days..."
"I choked a prostitute named Myrtle last night."
Nevertheless, Chris seemed absolutely shellshocked from this experience, saying, "I just can't believe I came here and got in trouble." Yes. It's shocking. Terribly shocking. Who would have thought a simple visit to the South during hunting season would ever lead to extreme drunkenness and then belligerence? My world as I know it has been totally flipped on its head.
Suddenly and without warning, an innocent round of "If You're Happy And You Know It" reveals that Chris has no idea where his nose is.
As for the big club date he caused his band to miss, Chris surmised, "I bet a bunch of people got pissed and left when they found out we weren't playing." Yeah, um, not so much. However, I will say that I tore up my "I Heart The Prom Kings!" t-shirt and cried all night long until I wound up sitting in a fetal position, whispering to myself "Never again... never again..."
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Comments (21)
man, oh man...what an EXCELLENT re-cap for a fucking LAME show!
There were alot of things that made no sense to me in this ep:
Good point about the parents not paying the bail...what was that all about? Like lil' bro is some big baller in LA and he's the ONLY ONE who has the cash. Pullllease.
Although...I did think the parents were very cute. Too bad their sons are douchebags.
The whole "let me call your lawyer to see about getting you out" thing was fishy as hell. I work for the court system (Not in Arkansas, but I would imagine it's pretty much the same everywhere) but there's no way you can settle on probation 2 days after getting out of jail. You gotta go to trial, or sign an agreement with the DA's. Then the Judge has to agree to THAT. The whole damn process takes at least 6-7 months. And what? Chris doesn't even have the balls to talk to his own lawyer? Also, not to mention the charges...they seemed pretty serious. Beating up 3 guys? Drving drunk? Going after the cops? Dayyym.
The final straw was the party at the end. Yeah, he sure learned his lesson alright. And what a bunch of fucking losers for giving their friend a party like that.
OH YEAH! one more comment....what the hell is with Whitman's hair? It looks like he was peer pressured like hell to get that haircut...doesnt' really seem to fit him at all!
PS....god I love this show. LOL
1 of 21 | Posted by anniedawg25
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Posted on December 14, 2006 5:29 PM
B-side, you're on fire this week! I must admit this show is painful to watch...the guys aren't even fun to look at...but the recap is great!
Best screencaps of the week!
So one of these guys dates Haley Duff? She freely admits to this?
2 of 21 | Posted by tvjoneser
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Posted on December 14, 2006 5:30 PM
I highly doubt he actually went to jail. Someone pointed out in the last recap that Chris' hair miraculously grew long enough to form a faux hawk in the span of 2 days. I also wondered why he wouldn't call his parents to bail him out.. although I know that if I were put in jail, I'd call my brother before my parents too.
SERIOUSLY.. I hated Ty on Even Stevens and I dislike him even more now. IMDB states that he was also in Material Girls with Hil and Haylie Duff. I see the connection now: Haylie = Greg's girlfriend, Ty = Greg's friend.
The girl that Ty was talking to on the couch is also an actress.. she was in "My Wife and Kids" and of course.. "You Got Served." Gotta love these quasi stars hamming it up for MTV.
3 of 21 | Posted by IJustWatch
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Posted on December 14, 2006 5:47 PM
Well, you've convinced me, B-Side. I must start watching this show.
4 of 21 | Posted by T-Bag
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Posted on December 14, 2006 9:08 PM
this has to be one of the most infuriating shows, but of course i'll be watching it...
'Surprisingly, he did not present a Monopoly card to the police officers'
f-in classic b-side
5 of 21 | Posted by GuiltyPleasure
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Posted on December 14, 2006 10:10 PM
As someone from Arkansas, I have to say I am saddened by how crappy the state's contributions to the reality tv genre have been. What are they? Well the first season of The Simple Life was filmed in Arkansas (actually about 25 miles away from where I went to college), there was Team Mojo from the Amazing Race, and now these two douchebags. Thanks, MTV!
6 of 21 | Posted by jumpedcut
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Posted on December 15, 2006 12:13 AM
I haven't finished reading this recap yet, but I just had to stop for a second to say.....
B-SIDE, I LOVE YOU!!!!!
Back to the recap......
7 of 21 | Posted by LuvzSunshine
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Posted on December 15, 2006 7:16 AM
Myrtle's the lucky one on this show.
8 of 21 | Posted by k37744
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Posted on December 15, 2006 8:03 AM
Does anyone know if this show is going to be showing on MTV canada?? After reading this I really want to watch it but I only get MTV canada!!
9 of 21 | Posted by coleejohns
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Posted on December 15, 2006 9:39 AM
lorenzo lamas alone will make me start watching and not just reading. he's a c-list legend!
10 of 21 | Posted by molls
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Posted on December 15, 2006 9:53 AM
OMG B-side! I almost peed my pants when I read "I choked a prostitued named Myrtle last night"
These guys are the biggest losers I have ever seen, but your recap makes it worth watching.
You're the best!
11 of 21 | Posted by dsher
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Posted on December 15, 2006 12:01 PM
OMG B-side! I almost peed my pants when I read "I choked a prostitued named Myrtle last night"
These guys are the biggest losers I have ever seen, but your recap makes it worth watching.
You're the best!
12 of 21 | Posted by dsher
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Posted on December 15, 2006 12:03 PM
I caught the last half of this ep earlier tonight. This show is so totally contrived, and poorly at that!
13 of 21 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on December 16, 2006 7:09 PM
This show sucks Twentyfourseven.
The recap makes watching the show worthwhile.
Thanks b-side.
hb
14 of 21 | Posted by HoneyBunny
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Posted on December 17, 2006 8:02 AM
Hasn't Ty been in stuff, mainly commercials? I know I've seen him before...ah yes IJustWatch..Even Stevens! haha, quality ham right there.
I LOVE your description of Cipes, dead-on. I was wondering myself why no one mentioned that the cartilage thing was obviously a placebo. But I guess none of them knows what that is.
I watched a few eps of this over the weekend, after a marathon of Rob & Big (which I love by the way) and got quite a kick out of it.
15 of 21 | Posted by tigereye
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Posted on December 18, 2006 8:55 AM
OMG B-Side that prostitute comment is just wrong! I liked it when Greg would be Debbie Downer and threw out a comment everytime Chris forgot he was just in jail. He's definitely the most rational of the bunch.
16 of 21 | Posted by couchpotato
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Posted on December 18, 2006 2:49 PM
Shayne is the love-child of Jessica Biel and Torrie Wilson.
This show sucks, it's so obviously staged, but I know i'll keep watching.
17 of 21 | Posted by CTVampSlayer
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Posted on December 18, 2006 2:52 PM
18 of 21 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on December 19, 2006 4:54 AM
This is the lamest, most ridiculous show to ever hit MTV. Of course I watch it...
A few things - I believe that Cipes was referring to a movie that's in the works about the girl who was a shark in her past life - not an actual story - I can't figure out which idiotic story worries me more...
Also - did anyone else notice that Shayne was talking like a porn star? "I don't usually take strangers' pineapples".... What a ho.
One more thing - I thought it was absolutely ridiculous that everyone threw Chris a party for going to jail. It's like a Heroin addict being locked up for shooting up on the street and his friends welcome him home with a syringe and a spoon.... Fucking retarded douchebags... what will they think of next?
19 of 21 | Posted by YouWannaBMe
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Posted on December 19, 2006 8:34 AM
I haven't seen this show.
Is it really worth watching?
20 of 21 | Posted by JerseyLove
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Posted on December 19, 2006 9:53 PM
NO!
21 of 21 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on December 20, 2006 5:50 AM