Okay, so here's the deal. I watched the latest episode of Two-A-Days several days ago. I took notes and was planning on writing up the recap, but then I had to board a plane, and then it was Rosh Hashannah and then The Amazing Race was on, and just when I was getting ready to sit down and relive Homecoming 2005 at Hoover High School, my laptop up and flunked out on me! Monitor? Kaput! So there went my Tuesday plans. But now I'm here installed at my mom's office on an ancient PC with Windows 98 and a delete key so small I keep pressing "\" instead. If you see a high number of slashes in my post, you'll know why. But enough with the excuses. If Coach Propst heard all the bull-fooey I've been serving up, he'd have ripped me a new one and then some. And we wouldn't want that now, would we?
As I mentioned in my opening paragraph, what was so unique and wonderful about this latest episode was that it took place during Spirit Week at Hoover High. Yes, Homecoming was just around the corner -- the event that everyone had been chattering about for the past several episodes. To hype up this joyous occasion, the kids did what many high schoolers across the country do: dress up in costumes for five days straight. We used to do this in my high school, and by "we," I mean four or five people and then unlucky class officers who were obligated to show spirit in the face of general ridicule.
However, Hoover has a tad more pride than my alma mater, and so everyone showed up in all sorts of costumes, including Bryan, who was surprisingly not dressed like the Phantom of the Opera or any other notable Andrew Lloyd Weber character.
Plucky cheerleader Blair told us how excited she was about dress up days, but even more thrilling to her was the impending Powder Puff game between the senior and junior girls. I never understood why female football was called Powder Puff. I always felt that was somehow extremely patronizing, but these girls loved every inch of it, and I was mildly shocked that the seniors didn't go all Chicago Suburbs on the juniors and shove their face in feces and beat them until they passed out.
In football news, quaterback Ross was cleared from his Trent Green-ish concussion, which meant he could once again play/throw interceptions for the team. While he got back into Coach Pabst Blue Ribon's training camp of hell, a little guy named Taylor stepped up to be the coach of the senior girls Powder Puff team. I'm not sure who Taylor was -- I'm thinking maybe he was the guy in the first episode who talked about having quit the team. Either way, he took great pride in bossing the girls around, and the producers were kind enough to provide us with a side-by-side Taylor/Propst coaching montage, complete with a spitting comparison. Taylor was good, but nobody hocks a loogey like Propsty.
As the days went by, we got to see more outrageous costumes at school, especially on the awkwardly titled, "Favorite Movie Character Day." One girl arrived dressed as Wonder Woman, causing the normally gentle Max to ask, "What are you? A porn star?" Clearly he was unversed in the many splendors of Lynda Carter. Anyway, a few of the costumes were pretty good, and I particularly liked the one dude who came dressed as what I hope was Ron Burgundy. The little montage eventually came to an end as we saw one guy, perhaps dressed as the slasher from Scream running down a hallway like a crackwhore in search of rock. Methinks somebody had just a tad too much spirit in his Frosted Flakes that morning.
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Comments (12)
"I got about seven of you in here ain't got your freakin' dead-gum SOCKS ON!!!" he yelled, revealing what might be a borderline OCD fixation on socks. I know football teams have strict codes about socks and uniforms and whatnot, but seriously, dude. Chill out!
Priceless, B-side. I couldn't stop laughing out loud and even brough the VP out of his office. I'll have to be more careful next time, I wouldn't want to be banned from my addiction, TVGasm, at work. But I do love the way Coach Pabst Blue Ribbon speaks. It makes me long for the simple life on down yonder.
1 of 12 | Posted by Coley
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Posted on September 27, 2006 11:58 AM
I know some of our Gasm'ers from the Deep South have explained this hair thing before, but I still don't get it. What is the friggin' deal? It looks so retarded. Talk about a hair style you'll look back upon with abject horror when you bring out the ole yearbook in 2026.
2 of 12 | Posted by joeypotter
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Posted on September 27, 2006 12:14 PM
I love this show most for taking me back to my days as a high school wrestler. The whole school didn't revolve around us like Hoover football, but our coach was only slightly less psychotic than Coach Probst.
Yes I'm a dirty old man, but darn if Blair didn't look hot all dressed up.
3 of 12 | Posted by JasonR
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Posted on September 27, 2006 12:32 PM
Went to Tulane...as I learned from my Louisiana friends, the Hoover Bangs are known to them as the Southern Swoop.
I think it's cute...but VEEEERRY southern.
4 of 12 | Posted by D-Hoffs
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Posted on September 27, 2006 1:05 PM
I really think Kristin has had a boob job. My suspicions were initially raised in one of the earlier episodes when she and her Alex went swimming. But her cleavage in this episode was oddly Tori Spelling-esque. They just don't look right.
B-Side - a plane? Rosh Hashanah? your Mom's office? OMG, are you in CLEVELAND??? Want to drink PBR at Paninis in homage to Coach Propst?
5 of 12 | Posted by elljay8
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Posted on September 27, 2006 1:35 PM
Coach Propst Blue Ribbon kills me. I want to be him for Halloween; I imagine the costuming consisting of a beer gut, shorts, visor, sunglasses that were cool 10-15 years ago, and near-indecipherable Southern lingo. "Daggum dang-ole bull-hooey, y'all!"
6 of 12 | Posted by MissKatrina
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Posted on September 27, 2006 2:02 PM
http://ilovecamping.blogspot.com/2006/09/hoorah-for-hoover-high-homecoming-on.html
7 of 12 | Posted by GnomeCorp
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Posted on September 27, 2006 3:05 PM
"Don't move your laptop in sleep mode. While in sleep, the reading arm of the hard drive is actually on the hard drive. If you bonk the computer, you can wipe out a part of the drive."
- Maybe that will save your next laptop B-Side.
8 of 12 | Posted by Steve
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Posted on September 27, 2006 5:01 PM
I don't care what Goose says, Repete's the funniest guy on the team.
9 of 12 | Posted by Wade
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Posted on September 27, 2006 7:35 PM
Doesn't the little doofus know that you can only create that hairstyle by having your head in a sweaty football helmet for 18 hours a day?
10 of 12 | Posted by newtrino
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Posted on September 27, 2006 9:49 PM
My husband and I just moved to the northeast from Alabama. We've never lived outside the south before. He recently got his hair cut and they chopped off his southern swoop! He wears a baseball cap everyday, but everyone up here thinks it looks better. We're waiting for it to grow out. They mentioned trying gel in it. If you wore gel in Alabama, you would get beat up.
And the reason men don't look back in 20 years and cringe at their yearbook pic is because their hair is still in that fashion somewhat, if they're not losing it.
11 of 12 | Posted by ccsouth
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Posted on September 30, 2006 9:01 AM
When Goose was talking about Alex when Alex said he gets punished Goose said,"yeah but she..err it..." or something like that lol oops Goose you let it slip. I gotta say I loved the senior girls uniforms. It looked way cooler than the halloween colors the juniors were sporting.
12 of 12 | Posted by MichyPR
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Posted on October 2, 2006 10:02 AM