TVgasm Recaps

**Letter from the Editor: Now, for your final pick from Auditiongasm! Please give a holla for the lovely and talented Pachita!!

Haim's face pretty much sums up the show.

Well, readers, it's here! The show we've all been dying to see, if for no other reason than we know it will be a total train wreck. You know, like when something so embarrassing happens to a friend that you find yourself laughing maniacally and taking pictures with your cell phone to send out to everyone in your phone book with a ridiculous caption like "Oops, she did it again!". That's right; it's The Two Corey's!!! I have to admit, I had never heard of it when I was bestowed the honor of recapping it, but a quick Google search told me just what I was in for. "I advise you to stay as far away from The Two Corey's as possible," and "In the realm of pop celebrity, the bar has been lowered so far that there is no bar" are just a few of the wonderful reviews I came across. Needless to say, I am super sonic psyched to be taking on such a crap-tastic show and hope you stick around for what can only be a fantasmical season.

I like to brag to my family about myself in hopes that my Nanny and Poppy will decide once and for all that I'm their favorite grandchild, so I told them about the show and my recaps. Oh, and I may have added that I am the next Walter Cronkite. When they said they would watch I implored them, "No, NO! Save yourself, wait for the recaps!" But they would not heed my warning. Five minutes into the show I received an influx of text messages saying things like, "Definitely the worst show ever. I am going to sleep." And, "This isn't journalism! You are a liar and a fraud, don't' come home for Christmas!" Who needs em, gasmii? I have a new family now, and they're The Two Coreys!

Hey gang! Sorry about the lack of recaps last week, I was stuck on a never-ending vacation. I knew I just had to get back to my favorite middle-aged delinquents, so I fearlessly endured the perilous journey full of hurricanes, tornados, and countless crying children in airports around the world to get back to my men. I mean, come on, wouldn't you? These aren't just any men, they're the Two Coreys!

Boys, BOYS! Don't fight over lil' ole me!

Welcome back, gang! I don't know about you all, but I had a super-fantabulous weekend. I indulged in a three day binge of Sex and the City (it was unhealthy. I don't think I changed my clothes or ate any food until the end) followed by 'grocery shopping' where I came home with no food and 2 new pairs of shoes (the unavoidable consequence of binging on said show).

Just when I thought my weekend couldn't get any more delightful, I realized it was Two Coreys night! My elation was short lived when I realized that this was no ordinary episode of the Coreys, it was a clip show. You read that correctly, the final installment of the television equivalent of the love-of-my-life is the television equivalent of Shepherds Pie (which my roommate hated with every fiber of her being because she was convinced it consisted of all the 3-day leftovers in the fridge mashed into a pie tin). I couldn't help but wonder (love ya Carrie!), what could a clip show offer us? Let's find out!

Aww, I'll miss you too Haim!