Smells Like Teen Spirit! - 
by B-Side
Okay, so here's the deal. I watched the latest episode of Two-A-Days several days ago. I took notes and was planning on writing up the recap, but then I had to board a plane, and then it was Rosh Hashannah and then The Amazing Race was on, and just when I was getting ready to sit down and relive Homecoming 2005 at Hoover High School, my laptop up and flunked out on me! Monitor? Kaput! So there went my Tuesday plans. But now I'm here installed at my mom's office on an ancient PC with Windows 98 and a delete key so small I keep pressing "\" instead. If you see a high number of slashes in my post, you'll know why. But enough with the excuses. If Coach Propst heard all the bull-fooey I've been serving up, he'd have ripped me a new one and then some. And we wouldn't want that now, would we?
As I mentioned in my opening paragraph, what was so unique and wonderful about this latest episode was that it took place during Spirit Week at Hoover High. Yes, Homecoming was just around the corner -- the event that everyone had been chattering about for the past several episodes. To hype up this joyous occasion, the kids did what many high schoolers across the country do: dress up in costumes for five days straight. We used to do this in my high school, and by "we," I mean four or five people and then unlucky class officers who were obligated to show spirit in the face of general ridicule.
However, Hoover has a tad more pride than my alma mater, and so everyone showed up in all sorts of costumes, including Bryan, who was surprisingly not dressed like the Phantom of the Opera or any other notable Andrew Lloyd Weber character.
Plucky cheerleader Blair told us how excited she was about dress up days, but even more thrilling to her was the impending Powder Puff game between the senior and junior girls. I never understood why female football was called Powder Puff. I always felt that was somehow extremely patronizing, but these girls loved every inch of it, and I was mildly shocked that the seniors didn't go all Chicago Suburbs on the juniors and shove their face in feces and beat them until they passed out.
In football news, quaterback Ross was cleared from his Trent Green-ish concussion, which meant he could once again play/throw interceptions for the team. While he got back into Coach Pabst Blue Ribon's training camp of hell, a little guy named Taylor stepped up to be the coach of the senior girls Powder Puff team. I'm not sure who Taylor was -- I'm thinking maybe he was the guy in the first episode who talked about having quit the team. Either way, he took great pride in bossing the girls around, and the producers were kind enough to provide us with a side-by-side Taylor/Propst coaching montage, complete with a spitting comparison. Taylor was good, but nobody hocks a loogey like Propsty.
As the days went by, we got to see more outrageous costumes at school, especially on the awkwardly titled, "Favorite Movie Character Day." One girl arrived dressed as Wonder Woman, causing the normally gentle Max to ask, "What are you? A porn star?" Clearly he was unversed in the many splendors of Lynda Carter. Anyway, a few of the costumes were pretty good, and I particularly liked the one dude who came dressed as what I hope was Ron Burgundy. The little montage eventually came to an end as we saw one guy, perhaps dressed as the slasher from Scream running down a hallway like a crackwhore in search of rock. Methinks somebody had just a tad too much spirit in his Frosted Flakes that morning.
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