Under His Thumb - 
by J-Unit
Ahhh, Two-A-Days. Even though most of us never had the pleasure of going to a high school with the football tradition of Hoover, I think most of us can relate to many of the moments in this series. While Laguna Beach showed us that the rich and spoiled can also be entertaining, Two-A-Days strives to prove that life does not end if the entire football team has the same haircut. OK, that's not exactly what the show is about, but it is pretty entertaining, and when an entire town lives and dies by what forty kids do on a Friday night, it does make for some pretty good drama.
All of the boys on the Hoover football team have a lot of pressure to win, not only because they want to keep their championship streak alive, but because they know that after every victory comes a big party. With those parties comes the girls, and you know why we love high school girls? It's not that I get older and they stay the same age. (If I were to risk a nickel at Chino, I would want it to be for something worthwhile, like kidnapping Tyra Banks). No, it's because once you go to college, you never have to think about them again!
Oh stop it! I'm just kidding.
While the thoughts of getting some alone time with their favorite cheerleader behind the bleachers does occupy some of their time, there is a lot to say about winning championships. If you are a good player on a good football team, there is a good chance you'll get some attention from college scouts. For a lot of these guys, going off to college is going to be their best chance to get out of Hoover, and for some it may be the only reason for them to ever leave the state of Alabama.
Max is on a recruiting trip to Southern Miss, member of Conference USA. Although he is a good player, you can tell that Max isn't a really big recruit for Southern Miss because they sent some old (read: of legal drinking age) woman from the admissions office and not some hot sorority sister and the keys to an Escalade. Still, it is division 1-A, and you can just see Max's eyes light up with thoughts of someday playing Boise State in the Continental Tire Bowl. But as soon as Max starts to get such gaudy thoughts into his head, his stepfather is there to bring him back to reality, saying that going to Southern Miss is all contingent on how well he plays the rest of the season. Oh, and here I thought that he was planning on going to college in Hattiesburg, Mississippi on an opera scholarship.
This is what Max was expecting
This is what he got
I don't know why these old people are always on these kids’ backs. Remember how everybody was supposed to be worried about Nease and the so-called number one quarterback in the country? Hoover handled them without a problem. And remember how hard it was supposed to be playing at Spain Park? The cameras tried to make it look close, but that wasn't a big deal either. Nobody can stop Hoover, so why do they even practice?
Well, they practice because the coaches don't have anything better to do. And while it might suck to practice before school and after school, the football players are well taken care of. In one scene, we see Blair and a few of the other cheerleaders bringing some treats into the football locker room, because nothing takes the edge off a tough practice like chocolate chip cookies and a blow pop. By the way, when you name your girl Blair, aren't you pretty much assuring her that she has to try out for the cheerleading team? It's got to be about as much of a surprise as naming your kid Belvedere and finding out he became a butler, or drinks a fifth of vodka every day.
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