Meanwhile, Keagan sat around with her friend and told her that Alex doesn't even speak to her anymore. Even worse, he might be talking to another girl -- Danielle the freshman cheerleader! Dunh dunh dunh! Amusingly, this conversation all took place as Keagan and her friend had textbooks and notes sprawled out on the floor. I didn't know there was such a thing as homework on MTV!

After the break, we then saw a montage of state championship preparation: Propst pep talking, girls marking up bus windows, players watching tape, Coach Pruitt suspiciously eyeing asparagus at the Piggly Wiggly. We then headed off to the pep rally where a sizable bonfire was set ablaze. It was all coming down to the big game, and on the line were the bragging rights to a high school football dynasty. The school had won an astounding three years in a row. Would this be the fourth? Goose then got up on a microphone and addressed the crowd. "It's been a great year," he said, adding, "My cockblocking skills have never been better!"

Afterwards, as everyone was heading off, Alex talked with Danielle, the freshman cheerleader Keagan had been mentioning. It was nothing too major, and if anything, Danielle's mom seemed more interested in him than she did, but across the way, who should happen to spy this? None other than Kristin. Oh, the bitterness would know no bounds. Alex should expect a Cookie Cake of Wrath very soon.

The next morning, the football team then boarded its bus as the whole town cheered them on. Rah rah rah! Go get 'em, tigers! This then led to another montage of players gettin' taped up and in uniform, during which Max commented, "It may not ever get better than Hoover High School, just 'cause we always win, and we're always top dogs." It wasn't necessarily a sad or depressing comment, but man, it sure put things in perspective about the sort of pressure these kids were under.

And this is just footage from when Applebees opened up.

Finally, it was time to take the field. But before doing that, we needed a Coach Propst Blue Ribbon special. Surprisingly, his pep talk was devoid of insane yelling and spitting. Instead, it was -- dare I say -- encouraging and inspirational. "This game right here is the game of all games," he said. Gotta admit, my heart was pounding ever so slightly. The team then took the field to a soaring fanfare of music on the soundtrack. It was as if this game were taking place atop Mount Olympus with Zeus and Hera the presiding referees.

"Red Rover, Red Rover, send Repete over."

Well, the game soon began, and that's when we found out the opposing team was "Daphne." C'mon, now. I know they're supposed to be an amazing team and all, but how can you take a team seriously when it sounds like a supporting character on Frasier? Sure enough, Daphne proved to be just as lame as you'd think. Hoover quickly sacked the QB, causing a fumble, and that was probably the high-point for Daphne. The team then tried to punt from the endzone, but Hoover -- Repete specifically -- not only blocked the punt, but down the ball for a touchdown. Sweet! And I tell you, no one was happier than Repete's dad... Pete. That's right. Repete and Pete. Get it? (Although, technically, Pete's real name was Dwarn).

Nevertheless, it was one ill-begotten Daphne play after another. They managed to fumble the ball, turning it over to Hoover, who then rushed it in for another TD, making the score 14-0. Then there was another blocked punt for a TD (courtesy of Max), which took the score up to 21-0. Seriously, Daphne. Get a new punter. By the time we reached the half, it was 28-0 (courtesy of an interception or two). Adding insult to injury, some girl in the stands derisively said of Daphne, "I thought they're supposed to be good." Ouch. You gotta wear that shame, Daphne. Wear it.

Back in the locker room, Propst looked shockingly happy, and he told his boys, "Let's go finish the last half of this year!" Again, no screaming! Amazing. Also amazing was that in the third quarter, Ross managed to connect with a huge pass, bringing the score up to... 42-0. Holy shit. Blowout! The producers weren't even bothering to show us TDs anymore -- they were just that abundant.