Testimonials

Outside, she asks Daniel why she didn't get to submit any sizzling hot ideas. Probably because you are dressed like a marionette from Pinocchio and wouldn't know hot if you touched it without oven mitts. She asks Daniel why she didn't submit something and he's all like, Uh, because you didn't? Little help, here, Betty. He tells her if she wants something she should speak up like she does when he screws up, and I'm starting to see why Betty is still an assistant...she nags and that's all she does. Besides dress like a school marm on 'shrooms, that is.

Daniel tells her to pitch him something, right there, as they are walking through the streets while he attempts to lose her. Betty panics and names the first thing she sees - hot fruit! Well, the fruit itself isn't hot, unless the vendor leaves it in the sun all day, but she is going to find the next hot fruit. HOTT. Good for you, nutritionist Betty! That's one way to make your mark, through the food pyramid.

And speaking of sizzling hot fruit, Papi is making friend plantains or bananas, depending on what he got at the Fruiteria that day. And what else is Papi doing? Providing us with a public service announcement on voting. He's all excited because it's the first time he gets to vote. Papi, if you lived in Chicago you could make this the first AND second time you voted.

Hilda is all excited about the election too because she's going to promote her shop to everyone waiting in line at the polls, all of which happen to be located right around the corner. Because nothing irritates people than a sales pitch while they are waiting in line. Betty comes running in with a basket full of fruit and Papi says, "I left Mexico so my family wouldn't have to sell fruit on the street!" No, you left Mexico because you thought you killed the husband of the woman you were having an affair with and you didn't want to go to jail. I'm just saying, get your facts straight.

Thank you, Encyclopedia Britannica, for doing all the hard work.

Betty is all excited because she gets to choose the sizzling hot fruit for Mode, which doesn't explain why she bought green apples. "I'm in charge!" she says, "I'm in charge!" You know, just because you say that doesn't mean it's true, I'm living proof of that. Betty and her family are plowing through a plate of fruit and I hope Betty is keeping the plumber's number handy, because in about 2-4 hours they are going to need it. Suddenly Papi remembers something from his chef days. "The tico berry," which is an exotic fruit from Brazil. It looks like a sea anemone. I'm in!

"Succulent, flavorful, rumored to have special healing powers," Betty reads. Just like George Clooney! Betty checks it out online and her eye almost bug out of her head...."OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!" she says. Are the berries orgasmic too?

Back at Mode Willie and Daniel enter the conference room to tell everyone that, "Betty scored a giant coup for the Sizzling Hot issue." Turns out the tico berry is the favorite fruit of supermodel Adriana Lima, who spent every summer on her grandfather's tico berry farm and credits them for making her beautiful. (Amanda runs to the cafeteria to grab some, "For my friend," she says). On top of that, Adriana has agreed to do the cover and provide an interview on the tico berries. She's never appeared on a Modecover before, so they are slashing the budget (bye-bye Kimmie's club) going all-in on the photo shoot. In your face, Kimmie, in your emaciated face! They put Betty in charge of the whole shoot. I'd like to take back that "In your face, Kimmie," if I could now.

Thus concludes my book report on the tico berry.
Hey, where did everybody go?

"Game on, Betty," Kimmie says. If this is anything like dodgeball, Betty's toast. And let's just say for the record, this was not Betty's idea, it was Papi's. If anything, he should be running the shoot and fighting Kimmie. I'm just pointing this out as a public service announcement on not taking credit for other people's work, Betty.

Back on the streets of New York, Willie's on the phone, "Marc, the car is not here, make it get here now." If only Marc had that kind of power. Suddenly someone says, "Aren't you Wilhelmina Slater?" to which she rolls her eyes and says, "Dear Lord." She turns around and sees...someone who should be on Mode's Sizzling Hot list. Me-ow!

Oh, he'll make you go blind, Willie,
just not with rage.

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Posted in Ugly Betty by DearCrabby at 7:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: Beatrice B on Nov 5, 2008 02:16 PM.