Back in the car where by the way, Betty is not wearing a seatbelt, Amanda looks for snacks in the glove compartment so they can stress eat, and instead finds a receipt for wedding rings from Tiffany's. Cliff really went all out to marry this cheater-cheater-pumpkin-eater. It is strange how seriously some people take marriage.
Seriously, who is driving the car?
Marc handles it well. He sucks on his inhaler like it's Cliff then proceeds to wreck the car. In real life, Betty would have flown through the windshield into the tree leaving a very ugly pink, white, and black splotch like a nun-in-the-blender joke.
Just as I suspected! Toonces!
It's a telenovela world, so no one is hurt and Betty has already called a tow truck but is dismayed it won't arrive in time for her to get to Daniel. She decides to run to the general store she saw down the road. I hope it's haunted!
Immigration? Papi no està aquí.
Hilda's Beautilities now requires a password to get in and she's shoving people out the door with a hat on. Prohibition is back! And so is Papi! He's pissed that she's breaking the law. I'm pissed I have to see her black bra through that slutastic sheer shirt. Have some respect for Papi!
Betty continues to run down the road in high heels, which, really? Plus, I bet she's sweating a lot. She offers to pay the inbred at the general store $200 to drive her to the manor but his DUI convictions have stripped him of his driving privileges. When has that ever stopped a drunk driver from driving? Suddenly she's hit in the back of the head with a toy airplane. Do they still make those or is this town just caught in 1950?
I can't drive you anywhere, but I can
make you squeal like a pig!
Picking up the airplane and handing it back to the kid (I would have stomped on it), she gets a BOLD idea. And stupid, if you ask me.
Back at the manor, Claire has gone bat-shit crazy and is dressed as the nutty English aunt who thinks she's on a hunt with Queen Elizabeth I. Seriously, Claire, how will anyone take you seriously when you are dressed as a character out of Dr. Suess's Horton Hears a Haberdasher? She's complaining to Daniel that she misses her phone. Much like the water glass/supply closet key complaint from last week, if you want to complain to the person who started this, go complain to a mirror.
Honestly? I blame Madonna for shit like this.
Daniel says he didn't have any major revelations on his walk, but did happen to meet a girl and now has a huge crush on her...sadly, she is taken (and how!). "Her name wouldn't be Betty, would it?" Claire asks. Ew-ew-ew, let's never go there not even during sweeps week or fantasyland. Ew! Daniel almost vomits. She points up to a skywriter who has written, "Daniel call Betty" in the sky (as opposed to the grass). "Looks like we're getting our phones back," Claire says. Yes, because IT'S ALL ABOUT YOUR NEEDS.
Once again, a cost-effective move by a Meade employee.
The tow truck has arrived and is about to pull Cliff's car from the tree trunk while Betty is getting major kudos from Daniel for going above and beyond, yadda yadda lobster bisque. He wants to know how much skywriting costs. Probably less than one night in Chez English Manor, so you might want to shut your piehole, jerk. Daniel says he'll call Dock guy and have him hold the shipment...but Willie has other ideas. Hers are always so much more fun!
Back at Chez Suarez, sort of looks like everyone is in their same clothes from earlier that day except Betty who has had the luxury of changing into something even more hideous. Justin comes in and shows her - the Perfect Storm cover is on the newsstands. Say it ain't so, unless any publicity is good publicity...anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Betty freaks and we head over to...
...Suzuki St. Pierre who is trashing all over Mode for their unfortunate cover. He swears he won't let the story die. And once again Mode security is asleep at the helm because the press is all over the office.
That tornado state is as elusive as my teeth!
Despite the fact that they are having a press conference the next day to deal with this, they want to talk to "Tornado Girl." They have a copy of her giving final approval of the magazine, with Amanda's mustache handiwork. Now there's some investigative reporting!
I'm the bastard son of Mike Wallace!
Stuff that in your pipe and smoke it!
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