Testimonials

She tells Henry she has to get off the phone because her day "is about to get a lot better." Nice kick in Henry's self-esteem. Geez. She thinks the gift Daniel is bringing to her is actually for her. Simpleton. It's for Renee! And judging by the size of the box, it's not jewelry unless it's from Flavor Flav's Jewelry and Pawn Shop. Daniel starts babbling some boring crap about what is it with him and women, yadda yadda. "No matter what I do, I'm always letting them down." Maybe you should stop hanging out with them when you are always UP, if you catch my drift, Daniel, which you won't because you have the IQ of a chimp.

Close up on pink frosted cupcakes and Charlie's engorged cupcakes. Well, cupcakes always go well with milk, right? "Cupcakes?" Charlie asked. Yes. Didn't you just read the last sentence? "That so sweet, but didn't you hear, there isn't going to be a birthday date."

"Oh, didn't YOU hear," Hilda says, "Betty and Henry have a whole new plan for tonight." Oh no, Hilda! Never tell the evil plan before you kill 007! You'll jinx it.

"That Betty doesn't let anything get in her way."

"No, she doesn't. But if it does, I've got her back." That must be a full-time job. Hilda flips up her hand to show off her claws. "These are not just decorative." Then she scratches the paint off the walls on her way out. No apartment deposit return for you, Henry.

Charlie grabs a cupcake and pounds it down while looking wild. If Hilda really had Betty's back, she would have put Ex-Lax in those treats. Or RU-486.

This would go great with...BOILED PET RABBIT!

Claire and Alexis are looking over a mock-up of Hot Flash, and with a feature article of "Get Ready for Your Next Act," I have to tell you they should cancel Mode and put all their money into this baby. It's going to be a hit, especially since Claire is running it and she's no fool like her kids. She's the brains and the brawn of the family.

Alexis declares it "saucy" and Claire agrees, telling her if she looks closely, she'll see a "nipple imprint." Claire, no kid needs to hear that from their mother!

"We need to talk," Alexis says.

"That sounds ominous." That's because it's usually followed by "It's not you, it's me (it's you)."

"It's about the budget for Hot Flash," she says. I can't put any more money into the project. Say-what-now-huh? Cutting mom's hobby allowance? Watch your brakes on the way home, Alexis.

Claire tells her they haven't even launched the magazine yet. They can't let it die. "You're my daughter."

"And I'm also your boss," Alexis says. Women across America run that scene back and watch it over and over and over again. And one more time.

Marc flies into Willie's house with a bunch of baby gear. Is Wilhelmina really planning on keeping the baby at her house? It's gorgeous, and baby's leak from everywhere every chance they get! I just figured she'd keep it at the nanny's place, or Christina's for an extra $50K.

Renee says to Marc, "Wilhelmina sure is working you with all this baby stuff."

"I know, but it's nothing compared to what she must be going through." A butt lift in Brazil? "Planning for motherhood and all." Even he doesn't believe it. "Where is she anyway?"

"Deep tissue massage. She skipped baby CPR class and made Christina go alone." Once again, I love the Wisdom of Willie.

"Of course she did...maybe the massage will help circulate the ICE in her VEINS!" Wow! Comment of the week award goes to MARC. That was impressive. "Oops! Did I just say that out loud?" Yes you did.

Renee invites Marc to the home happy hour she is about to enjoy, complete with chocolate martinis. Marc has to think about it. "Liquor and chocolate...hmmm - BRING IT!" This won't turn out well.

Betty is in the bathroom brushing her mane when Claire steps out of the bathroom and is startled to see someone else in there. "I'm so sorry," she says, "I try to keep up the appearance that I never use the bathroom. I hope you won't think less of me." If the bathroom doesn't make Betty think less of you, those high-waisted pants certainly will. Those are. Really. High.

Oh crap! She knows I crap!

Claire sniffs. "Are you okay?" Betty asks.

« Desperate Housewives: Breakin' the Law, Breakin' the Law! | Main | American Idol: And Then There Were Four: Voodoo Dolls Really Do Work! »

Posted in Ugly Betty by DearCrabby at 7:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: Dear Crabby on May 6, 2008 09:25 AM.