Testimonials

"My own daughter just told me she doesn't believe in my magazine." Actually no, she told you there wasn't any money for it. Big dif, Claire. "I'm calling it quits." Quitter!

Betty goes off on this huge diatribe about her dreams being crushed, fantasies coming true and how Claire shouldn't give up. Was she raised in New York or Oz? Betty, next time around, take a business class along with your creative writing - it will help ground you.

"Betty, what reZources do I have?" No really, she put a "Z" in resource. The rich - they have the ability to change letters on a whim. "Everyone I know has turned their back on me." Write a book and go on Oprah. Everyone will love you then.

"But you're the most resourceful person I know!" Good point. Claire cuts brakes, burns copies of Mode, breaks into her friend's summer home to live a lie. "You can do anything."

Claire faces Betty. "You're very perky." Really? Perky? When I think perky, I think Katie Couric. Betty is more spunky. Subtle difference, but a difference nonetheless.

"I've heard that before," Betty says. No you haven't.

"So what dreams of yours were crushed today?" Claire asks.

"Spending time at an old campground with someone else's baby daddy," Betty says. No, she didn't really. She tells Claire of her dinner plans with Henry. "How do I look?" Claire looks her over, then takes her own earrings off and hands them to Betty. Betty puts them up to her ears while Claire holds her hair back. It really is a nice moment, and The Crab can't say anything bad about it. It's this kind of stuff that really makes the show sometimes.

And the moment is ruined when we see Charlie on the sofa with a washcloth on her forehead. Maybe Hilda really did drug the cupcakes. No, Charlie is just being evil. Henry should slip her a Benadryl and head out. Instead, he leaves a message for Betty telling her to skip dinner; he'll meet up with her later. He should immediately tell Charlie "If you are sick tonight, there's no going to the parenting seminar tomorrow!" That should heal her but quick.

But alas, the bedazzled phone doesn't work and instead makes it sound like Henry is totally meeting her at the restaurant. Arriving at the restaurant, she smiles and says, "Suarez, party of two." She's doomed. DOOMED. Damn phone.

Marc drunkily says, "So Willie really got that girl to eat dog food?" Oh, stuff like that isn't hard, especially with kids or frat boys. Trust me.

"And that girl was her best friend. She called it a loyalty test," Renee says. Really? When I do it I just call it good, clean, mean fun.

"Wilhelmina was always good about getting people to do things they didn't want to do."

"She still is," Marc semi-whispers. Oh no, here it comes. "She practically forced Christina to carry this baby so she could save her husband's life!" Speaking of which, where did that loser go? Hasn't he noticed Christina doesn't come home at night? Maybe he's at the longest AA meeting ever. Marc continues, "And when Christina finds out who the sperminator is - "

"I thought it was an anonymous donor?"

"It's BRADFORD MEADE!" Marc blurts out. "She stole the sperm from his dead corpse (as opposed to his live corpse) and when the bastard heir is born she will finally get her hands on one-third of the Meade fortune." He polishes off his drink and says, "I think I'm gonna vomit." What a waste of Stoli! Renee just pours her drink out (wasteful people) and looks evil. I bet she and Charlie would make a good team!

Cheaper than therapy. Tastier too!

Poor Betty. And here comes the snooty, unemployed actor to get all high and mighty with her. You just know that accent is fake. "Are you ready to order?" She begins to send him away then embarrassed, calls him back to order fondue. "That is for two people." So? Girlfriend might be hungry. "That is a lot of cheese." Like your accent? At this point, I'd be kicking this guy in the shins. Betty stumbles through a whole speech about how her boyfriend is going to show up and my thought is you don't owe this guy an explanation. Now order TWO huge pots of cheese! And eat them both!

"Okay Henry, thanks for calling." Papi has a pained look on his face. Hilda can't believe Henry is cancelling on Betty or that Charlie is really sick.

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Posted in Ugly Betty by DearCrabby at 7:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: Dear Crabby on May 6, 2008 09:25 AM.