Testimonials

He holds his hand out like Henry did in her dream and she climbs aboard. As they take off, the waiters in the restaurant watch. OH IN YOUR FACES, BEYOTCHES. Sorry, just channeling Justin there.

"Willie, I know I screwed up, but breaking into Daniel's apartment? Isn't that a felony? I'm too pretty for prison. They'll pass me around like a collection plat at a Catholic Church," Marc whines. Or an alter boy, ba-da-bum! But he owes Willie and she doesn't want to end up in jail either.

"I bet you'd do well in prison."

"I would," she says. And if Marc doesn't make it out of Daniel's apartment alive? "We'll always have Bergdorf's."

In the large conference room, Claire begins talking to a group and says, "We all know what it's like to be ignored. Taken for granted. Not valued. That is never going to happen with the staff of Hot Flash magazine. Because this isn't a job (it's an adventure?). It's a family."

No, no - my waist really is all the way up here!"

She sees Alexis, who has been listening to her mother. "Let me introduce you to my beautiful daughter, Alexis Meade."

Alexis says, "I though I told you there was no money to hire a staff."

"Relax darling, I don't need your money or anyone else's...turns out there's a work program for recently released inmates," Alexis loses her smile...and probably clutches to her jewelry, "subsidized by the state, so my overhead is minimal." So you are using someone's money, Claire.

"They're prisoners?" she asks a little too loudly.

"Ex-prisoners, like me." No, not like you Claire. "They have life experience. And that's what Hot Flash is all about." Well, there's life experience, and there's life in a women's prison experience. Two totally separate sections of the magazine rack and porn section of your local video store. I'd recommend a little more demographic research, Claire. And an increase in security, Alexis. "I can't think of a better talent pool." Ex-prisoners as writers? I guess that's not much of a stretch. The only thing between me and murder this morning was a Dunkin' Donuts coffee.

Back to the carriage where Gio is babbling about a birthday party he had with a snowstorm and no one showed up and they had to eat cake for weeks - weeks! How big was that cake? Betty just looks lobotomized. The horse stops to take a dump (fitting) and Gio acknowledges it's not the birthday she probably imagined. "It's my own fault," she says. Yes, for not leaving with Henry that morning when he offered.

"I had this stupid fantasy...fireworks, epic romance, Romeo and Juliet."

To which Gio reads my mind and says, "You know those two ended up dead in a tomb, right?"

"I try not to think about that part." Then you just focus on the family feud?

"Fantasies are fun, but we live in reality. It's not perfect, but it doesn't mean it can't be pretty good." Betty whines about Henry leaving her after the baby is born and Gio tries one more trick. He's not letting her go home, he's taking her to the park for those fireworks!

Back at Daniel's, Marc sneaks around the apartment and sees Renee's bag on the floor. He steals her phone then spies something in Daniel's drawer. See-through red and black undies in tighty-whitey style. I actually shuddered when I saw these.

HO-LY MOTHER OF GOD, what sweatshop makes these?

"What are you doing?" Daniel says. Marc is sooo busted on this panty raid! He stutters for a moment, then tells Daniel he wants him, he's always wanted him, then begins to tease Daniel's nipples for some reason. Daniel tells him to stop it.

Yep, nips still there!"

"This smells like Wilhelmina," he says. Like Chanel 666?

"No," Marc says. "It smells like the beginning of something beautiful," and he smells the underwear still in his hands.

This doesn't smell like Teen Spirit either

"I'm calling the police."

Marc tears out of there saying, "We'll always have this moment, ciao!"

At Casa Suarez, up go the birthday decoration an in comes the piñata. Really? That was fast. They can't get in touch with Betty. Then Henry shows up, embarrassed that Charlie tricked him again with her feeling-sick routine. Hilda can't believe he fell for it either. So here we are, for Betty's birthday, minus Betty.

Betty and Gio are on their way to the fireworks when one of the carriage wheels breaks. Sort of the carriage version of "I ran out of gas, baby."

Just put on the spare - Betty will get the jack!

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Posted in Ugly Betty by DearCrabby at 7:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: Dear Crabby on May 6, 2008 09:25 AM.