Back at Salon Suarez. Filler! Get to the pyro. Hilda shows up in her trashiest "finest" to show Gina. They both look like hos. Gina kicks off her Pradas and Hilda says they don't look right. Gina compares them to a snowflake, they are all different. Yes, well, those small Chinese hands do add character to the shoes. Anyhoo, Hilda says that her snowflakes are snowfakes (I prefer "Frauda") and starts ripping on her for all of her faking. Start with her boobs, Hilda! Hilda even goes as far to say Gina isn't even married. Gina shows her his card.
Santa will be happy with all the ho's in this house!
"Chiropractor! That's not even a real doctor!" Uh, that's the doctor that saved Crabby from back surgery. Well, for a few years anyway. Those guys are geniuses. But, they are like mushrooms - people either love 'em or hate 'em, there's no in-between. And if Crabby could land herself a chiropractor, oy! But clearly Hilda cares not for mushrooms!
Jersey chiro shows up and Gina whines that she wants to leave. He says, "Whatever makes you happy." Then he rips on Hilda for making Gina feel bad. "Your life must be pretty sad." Of course it is! The love of her life was murdered and now she's running a crap-ass salon out of her back porch. And her boobs are eventually going to hit her knees! This is tragedy of Grecian proportions, people.
"Renee is, among other things, a borderline personality." On the other side of the border? All bitch. "Without medication, she'll fixate on a person and become jealous if she thinks she's losing her hold on them." Which would immediately beg the question - is she taking her meds? Someone might want to check on that pronto. The doctor continues about how she likes to burn things down and bake cookies. Actually, that last part I made up. Daniel asks about her killing her professor. "Well, it's a little more complicated than that," the doctor says. No, I'm pretty sure that was straightforward murder.
Greagory Peck+Freud=Daniel's Oedipus Complex
"I can't believe Renee would want to kill me," Daniel says.
"Technically, you're right." Uh-oh, Daniel's not a technical person. "Renee focuses on a 'gatekeeper.' Someone she thinks is keeping her from her lover." Who could that be? Think. Think!
"What's important is that we get Renee back into the asylum where she belongs," Wilhelmina says. Or you could just do a physical and see if she needs to up her meds. I'm just saying.
The doctor then tells Daniel about how Renee really went after her professor's secretary. She set the fire to trap the secretary, and accidentally killed her lover. I hate when that happens.
Betty gets to Daniel's apartment and the door is open. CALL THE POLICE. No, wait, why don't you just walk in? Maybe you can be the one to discover Daniel's corpse! Candles everywhere...on wooden floors! I wonder if those are Pergo. They can withstand anything. Including hundreds of candles.
The door slams behind Betty, and it's Norman Bates! No wait, it's Renee, and the Crazy Train is making its final stop. Renee says she was planning on having a romantic evening with Daniel, but once again Betty got in the way of it, "just like you've been doing all along." No worries since it's Pergo Betty - go ahead and wet yourself! It won't hurt the floor, that's why my vet has them in her lobby.
This has fire hazard written all over it. On the other hand, perfect for dog pee.
"Daniel's mine Betty, and I'm not going to let you have him." She starts chasing her with a Bic lighter. A Bic? Betty, you are scrappy. Bust her ass! "I see how you look at him, how you talk to him, you answer his phone, you control his appointments..."
It's Colonel Mustard, in Daniel's apartment, with the Bic lighter! No, wait, it's Renee!
"I'm his assistant." Good point. Hope it buys you more time. She tries to run away but Renee catches her.
"He sleeps with his assistants!" Renee screams, knocking a candle over (awfully close to a curtain. Hope it's flame-retardant, but I'm guessing it's not).
"Renee, I have a boyfriend that I really, really love."
"Then why are you spending all of your days and nights at work with my boyfriend." Well, she's got you there, Betty. Betty then goes off on this inexplicable story about Henry and Gio and ends with "it's complicated."
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Comments (4)
Good recall, Crabby, maybe too good. 11 pages to do one episode of Ugly Betty? You wrote down all the lines in the dialog. Too much information! Your earnestness wins you a hearty thank you, but I found myself skipping through after page 3. Brevity, my friend, brevity!
1 of 4 | Posted by talma63 | Posted on May 8, 2008 5:47 PM
Thanks for recapping, Crabby (with Cancer as my star sign, I love the nickname). Talma is right, though...the recap is quite long.
2 of 4 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on May 12, 2008 9:15 AM
I hope you keep the recaps, though - just in case I stop watching the show, which nis becoming more and more likely as the show does on. F'ing Charlie. I promise to look the other way if you wanna go back to hitting pregnant women just this once.
3 of 4 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on May 12, 2008 9:29 AM
Oops, I was trying 2 finger peck this out with one hand...
I hope you keep the recaps long, though - just in case I stop watching the show, which is becoming more and more likely as the show goes on. F'ing Charlie. I promise to look the other way if you wanna go back to hitting pregnant women just this once.
4 of 4 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on May 12, 2008 9:32 AM