Testimonials

Daniel and Papi are walking down the street together, at first because I thought Papi was going to school Daniel by handing him a couple of bucks and showing him how the rest of New York lives - on the subway! But then he compares himself to Daniel and says he was the same way until he felt good about himself that he found someone special. "So what happened?" Daniel asks.

"Molé happened."

"Is that a girl?" Daniel, you live in New York City. How do you not know molé sauce? I live in the Midwest and even the squirrels know.

He tells Daniel how he used to make molé sauce the same way as everyone else, then he decided to add molasses to make it his own. His boss loved it (the same one he almost killed?) and he knew he was special - unique.

I killed my boss with an enchilada this big

He said once he found his passion - cooking - he knew he was special and that's when he met someone special. Yeah, his boss's wife who he stole by killing her husband but not really, rendering his marriage unlawful and his two daughters bastards. Now there's a telenovela! He tells Daniel he needs to find his passion. "What makes you feel good about yourself?" Probably the same thing that gave him hairy palms, Papi.

Wilhelmina is in her kitchen checking email...or checking someone else's email, who knows, when Christina walks in. "You're right," Christina says, "I don't have any options. So I've decided to take you up on your offer. There is something I want from you." Ask for a million and revenge on Crabby's enemies. Oh wait, it's about you. And we don't have that kind of time!

"And what is that?" Willie asks.

Christina flips a disk into Willie's hard drive (not a euphemism!) and shows her the plans for taking over Metropolis and The Daily Planet! No wait, it's the sonogram. "This is the heartbeat of the child I'm carrying. For once in your monstrous life I want you to think about someone else. Because this baby is not just some instrument for whatever wicked game you are playing, it's your child. And what I want from you is a promise that you will love this baby and you will give it everything it needs." Should have asked for the money, Christina. It would have been a lot easier to get.

Why, my child almost looks human!

Over to screaming, dripping Charlie saying, "It hurts!"

Amanda: "Does it hurt?" Then she goes into this whole story about having work done on her nose, not a nose job mind you, just some tweaking, and "it was so painful, it was just like childbirth."

Betty is chauffeuring everyone out the door when a horn honks - it's the taxi here to take Charlie to the hospital. Except she's not going to the hospital, she's going to a birthing center. That's right, she's going to have the baby under water, right? Off to the Hudson River. Or the Long Island Sound. Or just off in the taxi. Because once she's in there, she becomes the problem of the Yellow Taxi Service and Betty can slam down some tequila.

But no - Charlie can't get up and out the door. In fact, she's changed her mind, she wants the drugs. So Betty dials up 911 (she ought to let the cab go) and tells them, "She wants the drugs," which will probably only get the DEA to show up, not the ambulance.

It's Casey Kasem and he has a long-distance dedication just for you!

Now it's dark, and the ambulance is still not here. Charlie is screaming at the top of her lungs and asks Betty to hold her hand. "Why did you throw me a shower," she asks. At first Betty gives her this line that she felt bad for her being away from home, but the truth is that she thought if she were nicer to Charlie, she's stop getting in the way of her dates with Henry. That worked out perfectly, Betty, good thinking. Then Charlie starts apologizing to Betty. Too little, too late. The ambulance shows up, thank goodness, because Crabby really hates childbirth scenes.

Ah, good, back at the offices of Mode where Alexis and Claire are, unlike Daniel, actually working. They are looking at photographs complaining about how bad they are. Maybe it's because the photographer was still so overwhelmed with grief over Daniel not calling her back after their one night stand? Oh, here comes Daniel. "You look like hell," Claire says.

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Posted in Ugly Betty by DearCrabby at 5:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Last Comment: Jelliepair on May 19, 2008 10:33 AM.