"Yeah, can I help you?" I was right. Unlike my gym teachers of yore, this guy is young, hot, actually in shape, a non-smoker, can probably add 2 and 2 (it's 4), and wasn't stuck teaching Civics class when they couldn't find a competent teacher. Hilda is struck by he awesome Diaz-ness.
"You're the gym teacher?" Hilda asks, a little too breathlessly. "I am Justin Suarez's mother."
"So you heard he's failing," he says, showing off his behind once again.
"I did hear and I think there has been a mistake because I've been sending notes asking that Justin be excused from PE." Would that work with math or chemistry? And could her hips look any larger? She might consider a lap or two if she wants to continue wearing them. She does come clean and tells Coach Hottie that Justin is not an athlete. But man can that kid dance! Heh. I wrote "man can." Coach says no one has to be an athlete to be in his class, you just have to participate. Hope they hand out certificates for that at the end-of-year banquet. Always so satisfying to know your participation really made no difference!
"If you fail Justin, I'm going to talk to the principal," Hilda threatens. Hilda, why don't you try to name Justin's school principal? I dare you. Coach is more than happy with that and tells her to go ahead and make the appointment. He turns and Hilda gets another look at that fine-y hiney. I'm with her on this one.
"Ms. Suarez, I have a Master's in Wellness Training," in what? I actually had to mute the TV to get the captioning to see what his Master's degree was. Dude, if we're going to throw around degrees like that, sign me up for a Master's in Napping and a Doctorate in Slacking Off! Here's a preview of my thesis: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
"I firmly believe everyone can benefit from a gym class...even you." See Hilda? Even he thinks your Capris aren't fitting correctly. Hilda gets her thong in a bunch because she thinks he's telling her she needs to work out (see "Hips" and "Yours" in the mirror, Hilda, or stop spray-painting on your bottoms).
"What is that supposed to mean? Don't walk away from me! I pay your salary Coach Diaz!" Now I'm starting to see why Hilda doesn't work. Who would hire this bonehead?
Apparently he'd rather play with his balls than Hilda
Oh brother, back to Betty not shutting up about babies born in water having higher IQs than most kids. This is a yoga class, shut up! "Okay partners, now grab your mommy's waist." Don't! Or you'll make the belly button do that thing where it pops out like the thing in the turkey! Believe me, single career gals like Crabby don't find that as interesting as you think we do.
"Don't touch me!" Charlie yells. I'm with her on this one.
"You two with the bad energy. OUT!" The yoga teacher instructs. I bet she teaches anger management classes too.
ALIGN YOUR CHAKRAS ELSEWHERE!
Betty continues to try to talk to Charlie - hey Betty, remember the insanity definition? Doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different outcome? This is you and Charlie right now. If I ask the pharmacist to add grape flavor to the medicine, will you take it already?
Charlie is bitching that she is supposed to be in Tucson having a baby shower this weekend. So instead of Betty saying how sorry she is, she offers to throw Charlie a baby shower. People, the only thing worse than going to a baby shower is THROWING ONE. If you must do it, have it catered and have the caterer bring a big bottle of tequila for you to dive into once you are done with the inane games involving toilet paper that you are forced to play. Or do what Crabby does and pretend you are sick the day of the shower (that way, you appear to be a martyr for not showing up and potentially giving the expectant mother your illness, just without all the actual martyrdom). And Betty's throwing the baby shower the next day. This should be stress-free and fun to watch.
Daniel is at the therapist's office and boy does she look fun! Who would feel comfortable talking to this stunningly icy, tight-hair-bunned woman with severe glasses and aloof demeaner? Suddenly Amy Madigan does look good! If this woman speaks with a German accent, I will throw a rock at the TV. "So what are you hoping to get out of therapy?" The doctor asks.
Perhaps all you need is a spank!
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Comments (4)
With the writers strike, are they trying to cram in too much story to finish up the season? There's so much going on it's hard to keep up (or care) anymore. Bad episode. Lame. Get Charlie and Henry the hell outta there.. get Christina back to work where she belongs.. get Willie & Mark & Amanda back to their old scheming. Thank God that blowhard Gene Simmons is out, too. Sheesus.
The awful music at the beginning was New Kids on the Block, if I remember my horrific boy bands correctly.
1 of 4 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on May 16, 2008 8:07 PM
Let me first say that I adore you, Crabby! This season hasn't been very good so far, but this episode truly made Ugly Betty jump the shark. On second thought, the show jumped the shark the second we found out Charlie is pregnant. Why was Henry dipping his stick in that when he really loves Betty?
They're complete martydom is what binds Henry and Betty to each other, and is what makes me wanna throw up every time I see them together now. I don't know if the writers can dig this show out of the hole it's in.
Meme is right. The song at the beginning of the show is by New Kids. What's worse than me knowing that? I also know the title, the ironic (and clearly foreshadowing) "I'll be loving you forever..."
2 of 4 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on May 18, 2008 8:43 AM
Oops, I meant to write "Their complete martydom..."
3 of 4 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on May 18, 2008 8:47 AM
Why all the bitter Crabby? I love a snarky recap as much as the next person but it seems you have no love at all for this show.
Certainly this wasnt the best episode but it is still a fun and mostly original show that is A LOT better than half the crap out there.
I dont love it all but I dont think the show has jumped the shark. Whenever they bring Mark and Amanda together; they make it all worth watching.
4 of 4 | Posted by Jelliepair | Posted on May 19, 2008 10:33 AM