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Heeerrre's Charlie! "Welcome to your baby shower," Betty says.

"I was just leaving," Henry says. Lucky bastard. If you were recapping you'd be stuck watching the rest of this! "You ladies have fun," and he kisses Betty goodbye while Charlie wretches.

"I'm late because your directions were messed up," she says, walking in. "I don't remember your house being so small. Something smells really funny." Maybe that's because your head is stuck up your ass? Can't wait to see who all Betty invited that not only would be interested in attending, but had time to rush out and buy a baby gift for someone they didn't know. Good times!

What smells like ass? Oh, it's my attitude

Back at the tenements...something tells me Stuart did something stupid, call it a hunch. Christina is in bed and says, "Stuart?" She opens one of those cheapy plastic doors and who's on the other side but Satan, her minion, and Stuart who looks awfully pleased with himself. Hope he falls of the wagon and gets hit by the subway.

This is about to go so Clockwork Orange

"Hello Christina," Willie says. Wonder how she found her? Oh yeah, Stuart called her. "It was the right thing, Christina." Well, it's not like she could have hid forever. "You don't have a lot of options."

"Nyet options," Marc says in his best Russian accent. Funny, seems like a German accent would work better for both of them. Don't know why, except that I do and so do you.

"But what Stuart was savvy enough to recognize is, you do have power," Willie says (read: ask for more money, my Scottish lass!). "I need this baby and will pay to have you follow through with this. What do you want?" Well, at this point, she might as well ask for more money and the sole key to the Mode secret sex room. And better benefits.

"Nothing," she says.

"Christina," Stuart begins, but she stops him and walks out. Now she's stuck having a baby for someone she hates to make money for an operation for someone else she now hates. That kid doesn't have a chance.

Hey, what do you know! There are a ton of pregos at Charlie's party giving her presents. Maybe they are from her pre-natal yoga class, as we all know Betty made a lot of friends there yesterday. Betty runs up and shoves food in Charlie's face. Betty, I'll tell you what I tell my dogs when they become obsessed with sniffing each other's butts: Have some dignity and knock it off! Charlie can get her own food and you should let her share her sunshine with everyone else at the party.

Then Amanda shows up looking like a ho, per usual. Why doesn't she go play with Marc? She sits down and chows on Papi's empanadas and molé sauce. Charlie calls Betty over and snootily asks, "What is that," and points to a piñata.

Betty could pretend to be aiming for the piñata, then WHACK!

Yeah, they mustn't have those in Tucson, what with them so close to the MEXICAN BORDER. Geez Louise, if she has a favorite tamale place in Tucson, she surely must know what the hell a piñata is. If not, Betty should club Charlie's head until candy comes out. Won't take but one or two hits, I bet. "Well the plastic lining chokes the birds that feed at the landfills." Then they should find somewhere else to dine. "And are these vegetables fresh cut because they sure don't look like it." So Betty runs off to cut some. I'd run off to rinse the veggies in toilet water then bring them back to her.

"Why is everyone so fat at this party?" Amanda says shoving guac down her gullet. They really are a bunch of fatties.

Betty's in the kitchen chopping the hell out of a carrot and her dad notices she's not having much fun at this party. That's because it's a baby shower and they always suck, Papi. Oh, and it's for someone who is being a total spoiled brat and also happens to the ex-girlfriend of the man she loves, so no stress there either. Betty begins to tell her dad about how she and Henry are going to have this whirlwind cross-country relationship and even Papi knows this is doomed. "Long distance is no replacement for spending time together."

"Henry will be back and forth all the time. He said I was the most important thing in his life," she says. That is going to change in a couple of hours, amiga. Then, to make matters worse, Daniel shows up and asks for money.

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Posted in Ugly Betty by DearCrabby at 5:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Last Comment: Jelliepair on May 19, 2008 10:33 AM.