Testimonials

What? He tells her how therapy didn't work out because he banged his shrink, then met another woman at a club, then met her roommate, then met these Russian ballerinas who turned out to be strippers, who at the dog who ate the cat who at the mouse who ate the fly and I think they all lived together in a shoe or something. I just don't get his appeal. Then he woke up in Queens without any money or wallet or phone apparently, or he could have called his own family or driver to come get him and take him directly to the clinic for a shot of uber-penicillin before his weenie falls off.

Then Christina shows up and says she really needs to talk to Betty. Is there a clown car parked outside of Casa Suarez? Because that's the way I'm feeling. Then you hear Charlie yell, "is there any soy milk? And why do these plates have an old man on them?" To show you the beard you are going to grow once you hit menopause you twit! So Betty doles out orders - Daniel get money from Papi who is loaded, Papi get soy milk from the market because when Charlie says jump you say how high, Christina, upstairs because the kitchen is no place to talk about Rosemary's baby.

Christina tells Betty that Willie has done this to her before and she can't believe she was so stupid. Neither can everyone Nielsen says watches this show! When someone you know is truly evil asks you to be a surrogate when you know she doesn't particularly care for the kid she has, a bell should go off. In fact, a gong should. I have no sympathy for Christina and I hope the horns really scratch her when the baby heads down the birth canal.

"Stop blaming yourself," Betty says. Wrong, you should totally and completely take the blame!

"Betty, are there tamales or not?" Charlie yells. Oy. Yes, and they are full of Drano! Eat up!

Betty serves up the green corn tamales that are supposedly Charlie's favorites, and Charlie immediately spits them out and says they are wrong. Betty tells her they were flown out especially for her, and Charlie says, "Then they got ruined on the plane. They're soggy." And here we go...

"You know what Charlie? I have broken my back to try and make this shower happen," Betty snipes (no one asked you to Betty).

"Maybe that's the way you want it to look," Charlie says.

"No, that is the way it is!"

"This isn't what I wanted, Betty," Charlie says. Then you should have declined and we all could have had a better evening.

"I'm sorry this isn't good enough for you Charlie, but I have worked really hard and now I feel stupid for trying to be nice to you when you have been such a jerk! And I don't know why I'm letting your crappy little attitude get to me. And Henry and I have already decided to stay together after he goes back to Tucson whether you like it OR NOT!" And...splash. "What? Nothing to say?"

"My water just broke!" Didn't you hear the splash? "Either that or I just peed my pants." Yuck.

Aye caramba, who the hell is going to mop that up?

Amanda comes up and says, "Oh, I see how you're playing this. Last New Year's Eve I got so drunk my water broke too." Ewww. Hope she wasn't in a cab at the time.

So what does Betty do? She tells her to sit down. Hope they have plastic on that furniture because GROSS.

Oh, here we go, back to Hilda and Coach. Where's my thesis? Hilda is at the school to apologize to Coach about Van Goghing him. Luckily he only needed 2 stitches. She should use that as her salon motto. Coach offers to meet Hilda halfway and not, as she hoped, under the bleachers. He says if Justin choreographs the cheerleading routines for the rest of the year, he'll let him pass. Oh my God, that squad is going to kick ass the rest of the year! Can you imagine all the glitter, the glamour, the high kicks? Hilda is so excited, she says, "He calls ESPN the cheerleading channel." I call it a waste of cable space, but I am an HGTV junkie. Aww, Coach has dimples. Don't cut them!

Jinx, you owe me a poke!

"What's your first name anyway?" She asks.

"Tony," he says. Tony Diaz? Like Juan Epstein? As Hilda leaves, she turns around to take a last look at Coach and he's looking at her. Love is in the air, along with the smell of sweat socks. Junior high really does rule.

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Posted in Ugly Betty by DearCrabby at 5:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Last Comment: Jelliepair on May 19, 2008 10:33 AM.