We begin delicious season 3 of Ugly Betty without Gio, without Henry, and without the trip to Europe I was so sure Betty would take. Daniel gives her two first class tickets and an all-expense paid trip through five-star hotels in Italy, but instead she goes trekking through the Grand Canyon? I'm not saying it's not beautiful, I'm just saying it ain't going anywhere. Those first class tickets will only stay open-ended for a limited time.

Betty is talking to her mother's grave, and I'm wondering how Papi et al could have afforded such a big stone on his little - slash that, NO salary. That rock is huge! And it seems to come with a miniature picket fence. Nice.

Let's hope the $700 billion bailout lets the dead keep their picket fences!

We flash back to last season's softball game where Betty gives Henry back his ring (she must have stashed it in her cup before the game) and tells him she's not ready for marriage (YAY!) and tells Gio if she went to Italy with him, she'd only be leading him on. Methinks Gio would be okay with that (as would most men), but whatever.

Betty tells her mother's tombstone that she needs to find herself on her own. She also thinks about ordering mushrooms on her tombstone (ba-dum-bah, I'll be here all night!). She leaves the fake picture of her mother and Papi at the Grand Canyon (taken at Coney Island) on the tombstone. They look like wax figures in the picture!

Papi, is that you at Madame Trousseau's? Lifelike!

So, Betty heads west...Grand Canyon where she waves to cacti, Yosemite where she mainlines...no, wait, I think it's called ziplining, Route 66 where she builds houses (must be in New Orleans) - now there's a vacation, building homes for people who are just going to lose them in the next flood! Biking with people who probably are trying to get away from her, and eating seafood with someone she may have accidentally married while in San Fran. Please explain to me how she did this on an assistant's salary? My last vacation involved staying at home and refinishing furniture. At least I got high on the turpentine fumes.

Oops I crapped my pants!

Back at home, Betty is explaining her trip to Justin and Hilda, and shows them her "idea binder." A big notebook with a light bulb on it that has all the great ideas she'll be sharing with Daniel when she gets back to Mode. Did they not connect at the softball game? Because you'd think she'd know Daniel is out. No worries, Hilda and Justin are just as horrified by the binder as we all are.

Check out why I'm not having sex now!

"I feel so empowered!" Betty says. Oh, man, is she setting herself up for a fall. How could someone who grew up in Queens be so damn naïve? "Is that why you have that blue thing around your neck?" Does Betty have gangrene? No, it's just an unusually large bird-of-turquoise necklace. Rock on, Betty.

The necklace is her "power animal" which is a dove (are they powerful?) that represents peace and maturity. My power animal is George Clooney, and he represents "hot" and "sex." Anyhoo, the bird is supposed to provide her with power but something tells me it's just going to end up shitting all over her like she's my picnic table.

Betty came back with a plan but wants dad to hear it too. Papi enters with a Flushing Burger uniform - he got a job! Cooking! At a fast food place! I don't think hitting the fries alarm counts as cooking so much as "waking up." Were the thousands of delicious greasy diners in New York not hiring? Because I'm thinking Papi would have enjoyed that more.

« Real World Road Rules Challenge-The Island:Female fem nazi misfits. Or something. | | Making the Band: The City Slickers Ride Again »

Posted in Ugly Betty by DearCrabby at 5:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)
Last Comment: bgroman on Oct 5, 2008 02:38 PM.