"It appears Wilhelmina Slater has been struck blind by the fashion gods," Suzuki St. Pierre says as we open this episode of Ugly Betty. And has she ever! We see her getting out of a cab wearing sweats, a ball cap, and multi-colored crocs. Sweet Jesus, kill me now, you can't even see her cleavage or her wrinkle-less forehead! Has she had a breakdown? How can I have my girl crush on her when she looks like this?
Sasquatch or Wilhelmina Slater? You be the judge!
Suzuki calls the reportedly late Connor Owens "Wilhelmina's hunk of great barrier beef" and I spit my drink out. That was so brilliant I will actually forget Suzuki lives the hetero life in the suburbs of New Jersey. "What is going on?" Suzuki asks. He is at Mode to interview Daniel Meade. We all know how well Daniel's interviews go.
They put Daniel in "The Haute Seat," and again, kudos to the writers this season, they must have all gotten off meth. Will we see any of them on Intervention? Suzuki asks Daniel if his willie has come undone - no, wait, he asks if Willie has come undone. Phew. Daniel instead turns the conversation over to how well he's doing thanks to Scientology The Community of the Phoenix. "Okay, not doing an infomercial here," Suzuki says, horrified that Daniel just touched his hands.
Keep your H1N1 to yourself, toolshed.
Betty, watching the video on her computer, is horrified. Just go back to nerd porn to look for all of your former loooovahs. Natalie walks by like Skeletor on heels as Betty asks if Daniel is around, will have time to see her, etc. and Natalie is muy negativo saying no, no, no and bitch, Betty's your superior, so at least tone down the attitude.
Walking out of her apartment this time well-dressed, Willie encounters Marc who says, "Clogs Willie? You were wearing clogs!" Willie tells him they are very comfortable and when the hell does she care about comfort? Marc freaks and says he's knows she's upset about Connor, but with Willie talking about comfort, "Has the world gone mad?" Marc and I were separated at birth. Also, they looked sort of like Crocs to me, but without holes. Is that the clog definition now?
Those clogs made my ears bleed!
"Everything is not about fashion," Willie says. Marc grabs her arm, swings her around and gives her a good smack across the face. Not hard enough, if you ask me. She stares at him. He sneaks a peek at her. "I'm going to let that slide," she says, "because we both know I deserved it." And how!
Marc is concerned about "their" future and Willie reveals that she went to Claire to beg for her job back. Turns out Claire said no. "At least I think she said no. When she opened her mouth a cloud of dust came out," Willie says. Like that guy on The Green Mile? Sad. Willie tells Marc she has to find another way to save her daughter's ass. If she actually had one, girlfriend is like size -2.
Back at the office, Amanda tells Marc she has to go to the editor's meeting to take notes since Matt is out again. Turns out he was in the Bahamas scouting locations for a photo shoot, which seems like might be Daniel's job, but whatevs. Amanda says that Matt has asked her to stay late every night to go over fashion layouts and Marc tells her it's because Matt is out of his league. Also, shouldn't that be the fashion editor's job and not the FEATURES editor's job? Or do the lines blur like Willie's wrinkles?
Amanda says she's decided to ask Matt out. "I thought you weren't going the full Hartley because the Furry One still had feelings for him," Marc says. Betty really is kind of furry, like a lemon with mold in the back of your fridge. Or my fridge, as the case may be right now.
"Betty says she's totally over him, so I got the green light," Amanda says, quickly fessing up to the possibility that conversation happened in her head. I have those too! Mostly it includes the phrase, "I quit, mofo!" and "I have the winning lotto ticket!"
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Comments (2)
DearCrabby- Your recap makes me feel like I'm walking on sunshine. I also hope Allison can lay off the duster for her sake and her cats.
1 of 2 | Posted by rothko | Posted on December 4, 2009 6:26 AM
Another fine recap. Almost as good as having a friend to watch it with!
2 of 2 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on December 5, 2009 9:22 PM