Gross! Ugly Betty begins with Elena pouring pomegranate seeds into a blender, mixing, and pouring into glasses. Wouldn't it be easier just to buy a bottle of POM? Probably cheaper in the long run, and definitely faster than pulling those damn seeds out of the fruit in the first place. Ugly Betty, why must you try my patience like this?
She must have realized what she was wearing.
Betty takes a swig and smiles, then immediately spits it out. I rarely do that with POM, especially if it's been mixed with vodka. Hilda starts saying she came up with the pomegranate idea first and she should be the one rich and living in Beverly Hills. Only if her idea was pomegranate condoms, not that she used them, right Justin?
Exactly.
Papi comes flying into the kitchen a little too peppy saying it's time to go for his "brisky" walk. I think he means "frisky" because he's alive like a man in lust/love. He and Elena take off on his walk as Hilda and Betty throw out their juice which probably cost them like $10 in pomegranates. Please please please send me the name of your HMO so I can cash in like the Suarez family clearly has.
Is that Love Potion Numero Nueve?
Betty's phone ring and it's Claire Meade. FINALLY! God I've missed her like an alcoholic misses the sweet nectar of a POM and vodka! She's dressed in a fluffy coat, hat, and dark sunglasses, and I'm praying to God she's on the run from trying to kill someone else, preferably Molly Goody Goody. Claire asks Betty to come to a drugstore and bring cash, because "there has been a misunderstanding." Yeah, of the five-fingered variety type, I'm guessing.
Mrs. Meade, did you murder someone again?
Betty is sure Claire did not steal the mascara, right Claire? "Betty, it's not stealing if you can afford the mascara but simply do not have the funds with you to pay for it," Claire says. Wha-huh? Oh my God, is that true? I'll be down at the mall! Betty pays the security guard the $24 (when do they have $24 mascara at a drugstore, even in NY?) and leaves. Is it really that easy?
At work, Betty is passing this gem of info on to Daniel, and Betty wonders if there is something provoking all of this. Have there been more instances? Claire, you are my favorite. Turns out her 60th birthday is coming up and maybe she's not handling it too well. So she's rich, has beaten a murder rap, has her own magazine, but turning 60 is troubling. "Maybe she needs some attention," Betty says. Or a smack on the snoot with a newspaper!
Betty suggests throwing her a surprise party for her birthday with a tribute video. Daniel's not to sure about the video and because why now? Because the old home movies show Claire loaded and falling into the Christmas tree. I actually do have one friend who had this happen in her family, the only difference was that her mom was naked.
Give your kids the gift of Al-Anon, Claire.
Betty says the videos are hard to watch and Daniel says, "They are hard to live, too." Poor little Gloria! Betty suggests using a camera to interview Claire's friends and editing that together. Claire comes into Daniel's office and says she knows she's due for a talking to, hey, let's do it over dinner! Why, is she going to steal it?
Unfortunately, Daniel has a thing, and this thing's name is Molly. Molly is like the rest of us - normal job, normal clothes, desperate need for conditioner and getting her roots done. Translation: She's boring! We watch TV to get away from ourselves, why bog us down with her? (Although I do hear someone is being killed off this season...here's hoping!).
Betty is at home using a video camera from 1983 and asks Justin how to know it's on, just like we all had to do in 1983. "If the red light is on, it's on," he says. Sometimes the red light lies. Hilda comes down all tarted up "like J-Lo." She says, "I want my grandchildren to see how hot I was." Has she not met Justin, because I'm pretty sure grandkids are a pipe dream.
She could make more money stripping
and it would get her out of the house more often.
Betty "turns off" the camera and sets it on the coffee table, however the red light is still on. RED LIGHT! Wonder if it will pick up anything heinous and at a weird angle?
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Comments (2)
Thanks for the recap. As always they are WAY better than the actual episode. I was surprised to see Connor and in the episode but as always he's hot and sexy. :)
1 of 2 | Posted by Beatrice B | Posted on February 21, 2009 5:08 PM
Excellent recap, better than the show by far. The costumes are too easy as targets but I enjoy your zingers there and elsewhere, they always hit the mark.
2 of 2 | Posted by bgroman | Posted on March 17, 2009 12:44 PM