"Being Cal Hartley's son," he says, "is like being two different people. There's the guy whose dad is worth more than most OPEC companies" (seriously, he's really being a dickwad this week) "and there's the guy who is a sports writer" as if Matt even works anymore. He probably spends all that time at Mode because he's looking for fresh tail. Or in therapy.
Again, I'd really like it if your work didn't get between us.
Over in the conference room, Daniel is all pissy with Betty. She tells Daniel that Matt is her boyfriend and if this is what he wants, she has to respect that. I'm calling bullshit on this one. One business meeting is not going to kill Matt...it's called networking, look into it Richie Rich. Daniel tells her not to worry, there are "always other options."
"There are NO other options," Willie says. They barely had the money for the sucky sex issue, there is no government bailout coming (thanks to the two of them, I might add), and the banks won't touch them. Personally, I would take whatever money was left, hunt down Connor, tear his nuts off, and feed them to Meryl Streep's dingo. But that's me.
Willie tells Daniel they are out of money and need to make some hard decisions. She pulls out the Mode yearbook so they can look through it and lay off all the non-popular kids. Why not file Chapter 11? Companies do it all the time, look around. (Seriously, look in your back yard). Instead, Daniel agrees with her and says he'll take care of it. Well, someone is wearing his big boy pants!
Wilhelmina's Mean Girls book is really well organized!
Over in the cafeteria, Marc accosts Christina because he wants to do a sex quiz, and Amanda joins out of nowhere. Thank God he's not doing anything suspicious. He asks Christina what season is her favorite for having sex. Are people doing it only in one season now? I'm so lost nowadays. Amanda runs through every season but Marc focuses on summer. Christina wants to know why he's so interested in her sex life. "It's just a quiz," he says, awkwardly.
Talk to the hand and tell it if you had sex last June!
Back in the closet, Stuart has shown up (call INS, quick!) and he looks like he hasn't bathed since we last saw him. Yum. Christina tells him that once Marc mentioned June, she realized he was trying to figure out if she had sex around the time Willie's egg was implanted. Lord, don't make me lose interest in this.
Christina reminds him of their trip to the pub before she was impregnated and he reminds her she had five or six pints...ironically, that is how most people DO get pregnant (you don't think people really want to, do you?). She and Stuart did it six ways from Sunday (I'm guessing that's a lot), so now she's wondering if she was pregnant when the egg was implanted. "What are we going to do?" Stuart asks. I don't know, call Groundskeeper Willie? GET A DNA TEST DUMBASS. Do I have to think of everything?
Dirtier than Colin Farrell, I swear to God.
The next day Betty comes to work all chipper like, and it turns out people are being tossed in the chipper - via pink slips. Do they still do that? Betty, Amanda, and Marc all watch as people are being fired, and then the HR guy comes their way...and Amanda's out! Geez, let people have some dignity when you are taking away their health insurance and rent. They replace her with a book for people to sign in and a vase of flowers. Seems like overkill, but okay.
Sucks to be you! And a lot of people right now!
Betty runs in to Daniel's office and tells him the obvious - people are getting fired. He tells her she's too valuable so her job is safe. Score! But she thought there would be other options. Like what, Betty, inviting everyone to the Easter egg hunt? Ground control to Major Tom, Betty, when companies lose money, this is how they save it!
"It was either cut the payroll or file for bankruptcy," Daniel tells her. Dude, file for bankruptcy, it's totally in now! It makes you one of the cool kids. "Then none of us would have jobs." Chapter 11 allows for re-org, doesn't it? They have the worst financial advisors ever. Betty decides to take action by heading to the Easter egg hunt which is conveniently being held during the workday. Luckily, she takes Daniel with her so there is some method to her madness.
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Comments (1)
Nice recap! Just a nerd accounting note: When companies don't have enough money to cover all their debts, they can file Chapter 11. In Mode's case, where there is no money (Daniel and Willi are using their own cash), they would have to file Chapter 7, which is basically liquidating the company and closing the doors. Anyway, back to Ugly Bettyville, where the real world rules don't apply.
1 of 1 | Posted by kczar | Posted on May 10, 2009 6:23 AM